


You're Having My Baby

by CallTheBaker



Series: Pupcake and Babies [1]
Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi, Multichapter, Pupcake family fic, pupcake and babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-11-07 19:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 60,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11065638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallTheBaker/pseuds/CallTheBaker
Summary: Modern AU. Patsy and Delia are happily married. Will they take the next step and finally start a family of their own? Can they make it through the ups and downs of trying to have a baby?





	1. Happy Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been writing this for a while and now that I've got a few chapters in the bag I've decided to post it. I've had this idea for so long and I simply couldn't wait any longer to start writing it. I hope you enjoy.

“Delia-“

She was shushed by a tenderly placed finger to her lips. The apology that had been about to pour out caught in her love’s hand. She smiled, puckering her lips and kissing the finger before slowly removing it, twining their fingers together. 

“Don’t apologise Pats.” 

“But we had plans. It’s our first wedding anniversary and I wanted to treat you. Instead, here we are covered in amniotic fluid.” Patsy whined.

“I’m exactly where I want to be.” Delia replied, her thumb rubbing over Patsy’s knuckles. 

“What? In a sweaty locker room?” 

“With you, you fool.” Delia sighed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t need fancy restaurants and swanky bars - just you.” 

Patsy swore she felt her heart skip a beat. It scared her sometimes, how Delia could still have the same devastating effect on her after all these years. She’d expected the urgency and heat of their early relationship to fizzle into a slow, comfortable simmer but instead that red hot desire had remained and instead of being replaced by love and comfort had stuck around and complimented it. She smiled at her wife. Wife. She still couldn’t believe she got to call Delia that precious title.

“We could still go out?” 

Delia’s voice broke Patsy from her reverie. 

“To town?” Patsy asked hesitantly. Truth be told after a gruelling shift and an emergency C-Section that had extended that shift by over three hours she didn’t much fancy the evening on the tiles she had originally planned. 

“I was thinking maybe we could go to The Gun?” Delia suggested as she untied her scrubs. “It’s close to home and we’ll be able to hear ourselves think and actually have a conversation.” 

The Gun was their regular Sunday afternoon haunt. The Gastro pub was located just by the Docks and therefore within walking distance of their home. It was on a jaunt there that Delia had worked up the courage to finally ask Patsy if they could get a flat together. It seemed rather fitting for them to return on their anniversary. 

“Perfect.” Patsy beamed as she pulled her scrubs off, “Although I daresay I could use a shower. I look-“

“Absolutely beautiful.” Delia intercepted as she picked up Patsy’s engagement and wedding rings and slipped them onto her finger.

“We’re going to have to get you down to the Specsavers, Busby.” Patsy said with a lopsided grin, returning the favour and placing Delia’s own set of rings lovingly onto her left hand. 

“Busby-Mount if you please.” 

“That doesn’t have the same ring to it. I miss calling you Busby.” Patsy moved towards her wife and grabbed her hips, “But I must admit, I do love calling you Mrs Busby-Mount more.” 

“Good as I intend to keep it that way for the rest of my life.” 

“Glad to hear it.” 

“Right, come on! We need to get moving.” Delia demanded, patting the red-head’s arm. “I’m starving.” 

“You’re always starving.” Patsy deadpanned, releasing the shorter woman and grabbing her bag. 

Delia simply stuck her tongue out as she too picked up her bag and closed her locker. She smiled as Patsy outstretched her hand, taking it. As they left the locker room they almost collided with an exhausted looking Trixie and Phyllis. 

“I didn’t expect to see you two tonight?” Trixie frowned, “Aren’t you meant to be up West?” 

“Emergency C Section.” Delia explained.

“How utterly romantic.” Trixie teased, “Patience Mount, you really know how to show a girl a good time don’t you?” 

“It’s not my fault!” Patsy defended as her best friend smirked, “Anyway, I’ve had no complaints.” 

“Patsy!” Delia gasped, her cheeks colouring. Usually she was the one who made all the wise cracks and slightly inappropriate comments. There was something extremely naughty (and incredibly attractive) about it on the rare occasions when Patsy delivered one. 

“You’ll have a complaint if you don’t get a move on.” Phyllis interrupted the conversation sternly yet with a practised ease. “You should be out celebrating your love not lingering in hospital corridors. Be gone both of you! Enjoy your anniversary!” 

Feeling, as they often did by Phyllis, suitably told off the pair said their sheepish goodbyes before making a speedy getaway only to be stopped at the front entrance by Chummy who was rocking her son Freddie on her hip.

“Hello! Aren’t you two meant to be out celebrating?” She asked.

“Yes.” Patsy sighed.

“Pat-see!” 

Freddie was wriggling to reach Patsy, his arms outstretched and grin wide. Patsy dropped Delia’s hand and immediately took him from Chummy who chuckled. Freddie knew and loved all the people she worked with and would often want to be held by one of them. Tonight, it seemed it was Patsy’s turn. 

“Hello Master Noakes.” Patsy murmured, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Freddie’s response was to giggle and pull at her hair which in turn caused Patsy to grin widely, one hand rising to gently remove her fiery locks from his fist. 

“Careful, that’s the little tikes new game.” Chummy warned to Patsy who was seemingly too involved with the youngster to really pay any heed. The tall woman turned to Delia who was watching her wife with shining eyes, her mind evidently far away, “I say, old bean, what has the pair of you leaving so late?”

“What? Oh, emergency caescerean. We’re just heading to The Gun. I think we’re both too exhausted for a night painting the tiles.” Delia chuckled.

“I don’t think I’ve painted the town red since I had young Sir.” Chummy admitted, “One can’t say one misses it though.”

“Got everything you need at home?” Delia suggested.

“Absolutely. You’ll probably think me boring but there’s truly nothing better than sitting home with my two boys - that’s if the old boy actually picks one up on time!” 

Delia turned to Patsy and took in the image. She had evidently decided to partake in Freddie’s little game of pulling and releasing her hair. As he went to grab a lock again, she grabbed his hand pretending to eat it which in turn had the boy laughing and giggling and trying again the minute she released it. Delia felt a warmth flood her as she watched the interaction between the pair and before she knew it her mind was drifting. Images of a future she longed for suddenly concrete. She felt herself smile.

“I don’t think you boring at all.” Delia murmured, her eyes still on Patsy who was still in her own world with the little boy, “It sounds perfect.” 

Chummy smirked knowingly as she looked down at Delia gazing at Patsy and she wondered just how long it would be before the pair had news to share of their own. 

 


	2. Dinner at The Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Delia finally get their anniversary dinner and Delia brings up a very important question.

The Gun was quiet considering it was a Wednesday evening and the pair were immediately seated at their usual table. Patsy had ordered a bottle of champagne despite the fact they both had work in the morning and Delia had insisted on having dessert. 

“I’m stuffed.” Patsy exclaimed, hands falling onto her slightly protruding stomach. 

Delia chuckled and picked up the champagne bottle pouring the last remains equally between their glasses before raising hers. Patsy leaned forward again, picked up her own glass and held it parallel to Delia’s.

“To us.” Delia simply said. 

“To us.” Patsy responded, clinking their glasses together and taking a long sip. “I’m going to regret this in the morning aren’t I?”

“I think we both will. Still, it’s worth it.” Delia smiled.

“Absolutely.” Patsy replied before both fell into silence. 

“What are you thinking about?” Delia asked, noticing Patsy’s far away gaze. 

“Nothing!”

“Patsy.” 

“At risk of being told off for bringing work home with me, I’m thinking about Mrs Evans’ baby. I’m not entirely convinced she’s in a position to care for a baby with additional needs.” Patsy sighed, “She’s got four already all by different men. Winifred said the children just run riot. This baby won’t have that luxury, he’ll need extra care.” 

“Pats-“

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s not even my case.” Patsy sighed. “Winifred is more than capable of dealing with it with Phyllis. Anyway, enough about them and work and babies… let’s talk about something you want to talk about.” 

Delia tried her best to hide her grimace. One of the things that Patsy had seemingly had enough of was exactly what she wanted to talk to her about. She wondered for a moment whether to just leave it, to talk about it another day and instead natter Patsy half to death about the gym. She wondered whether to suggest that maybe they didn’t need to talk at all, and instead ought to pay the bill and get home as quickly as possible. But the image of Patsy playing with Freddie entered her mind and Delia realised that she needed to be bold. 

“What if I want to talk about babies?” She asked sounding much more confident than she felt. 

“What?” 

“What if I want to talk about babies?” Delia repeated. “What if I want to talk about babies with you?” 

“Delia we talk about babies everyday.” Patsy chuckled, taking another sip of champagne.

“I mean…” Delia paused. Unsure of how to continue. Patsy was not making this easy.

“Deels?” 

“What if I want a baby?” Delia asked quietly, “With you?” 

Silence stretched out between them. Patsy was gaping at Delia, mouth slightly slack as she tried to process what Delia had just said. She slowly placed the champagne flute down. She’d had absolutely no idea that this had been on Delia’s mind. To be honest, it wasn’t something they’d ever discussed. Patsy had always just assumed Delia was happy with life as it was - focussing on work and their relationship. She’d never considered the possibility of a family.

“Say something.” Delia muttered. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Patsy admitted. 

“I was hoping for a yes.” Delia said, a little bubble of nervous laughter coming through her words.

Patsy remained silent. She knew she ought to speak, say something, anything to let Delia know how she was feeling. The problem was, she wasn’t entirely sure how to tell Delia how she felt or at least, she wasn’t comfortable in admitting how she felt. 

“It’s fine Patsy.” Delia’s voice broke Patsy’s thoughts, “We’ll just pretend we never had this discussion. I can see it’s not what you want.” 

The tears in Delia’s eyes and the crack in her voice had Patsy shaking her head. That wasn’t it but Delia was already pulling notes out of her purse and setting them on the table.

“Delia.” Patsy began but was cut off. 

“It’s late. We should go home.” 

“Delia, you’re misunderstanding.”

“I’m not.” Delia replied angrily, “You evidently don’t want a child. It’s fine.”

“I-“

“If you wanted a child you’d have said yes, instantly. You’re hesitant and that means no.” 

“We’ve never discussed a family.” Patsy tried to add her own collections of notes to Delia’s collection but the Welshwoman batted them away.

“Maybe we should have done.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Patsy frowned as they shrugged their coats on and left. The cool air nipping at their skin. 

“I don’t know.” Delia sighed. “Look, it’s fine Patsy. Just leave it.” 

“It’s not fine, Delia!” Patsy fumed, “You can’t just drop a huge fucking bomb in the middle of our anniversary meal and then when I don’t immediately give you the answer you want, say leave it!” 

“You didn’t give me an answer at all!” 

“You didn’t let me!” 

“Fine. Go on. Answer me... do you want a child or not?”

“Delia-“ 

“No. That’s not an answer.” 

“You’re making it sound like it’s a simple yes or no question!” 

“Isn’t it?” 

“No!” Patsy snapped. “There’s… things… to consider and…”

“And what? This boils down to whether or not, yes you want a child or no you do not.” Delia replied exasperated. 

“I don’t know!” Patsy exclaimed. Stopping them both in the street. “There. I don’t bloody know alright?” 

Both women stood staring at one another, breathing heavily, shining eyes interlocked. They were stagnant. Neither sure of where to go next. 

“Then maybe you ought to think about it.” Delia finally said before beginning to walk in the direction of their home.

Patsy followed quietly. There was something in the way Delia had said those words that sounded like a threat. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this even though it's slightly angsty but it'd be boring if everything was plain sailing right? 
> 
> My thoughts, love and solidarity to London also. When will we stop waking up to such horrific news?


	3. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy talks to Trixie about her 'hangover'.

Delia was up and about before Patsy had even awoken. A quick glance to where Delia usually kept her gym bag told Patsy her wife had evidently gone to the early morning gym class. She didn’t blame her - Delia often went to the gym when she was frustrated, angry or upset and it was likely she’d be all three after last night. On returning home the pair had quietly gone about their night time routines before crawling into bed. Delia had kissed Patsy goodnight but then turned over. It was evident that they were not going to celebrate their wedding anniversary with a repeat of their wedding night. Patsy had sighed and wrapped her arms around Delia, glad when she felt her love grip her arm and pull her closer. She wasn’t under any illusions that they’d sorted the problem, but at least Delia wasn’t giving her the full cold shoulder. 

Walking into the hospital, Patsy smiled wearily at everyone she passed. The champagne combined with the rich food and her disagreement with Delia had left her feeling worse for wear and she wanted nothing more than to slink into her office and take a few moments to herself. That was not to be however as she passed Trixie who didn’t buy the ‘Dr Mount’ morning smile one little bit. 

“Patsy?” 

“I’m just tired Trix.” 

Trixie surveyed her for a moment.

“Nope. Not buying.” Trixie decided, grabbing her hand and pulling her into her office, “Sit down and talk to me. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Delia then?”

Patsy sighed and ran her hands through her hair. Damn Trixie for knowing her so well. Damn Trixie for being so caring and damn Trixie for not letting her sit and stew. 

“Don’t tell me you two argued on your first anniversary?” 

“I… I don’t even know how we ended up… it wasn’t really… we didn’t argue as such… well…” Patsy was rambling, unsure of how to tell Trixie. “She wants a baby.” 

“Oh, Patsy!” Trixie beamed, “You’d be a great mum, you both would!” 

“Delia would.” Patsy sighed. 

“You don’t want a baby?” Trixie frowned doing her best to read between the lines. 

“It’s not that… it’s just… well, Delia thinks it is that, that’s what we disagreed about but it’s not that I don’t want a baby it’s…”

“Patsy you’re rambling.” Trixie said, taking her friends hands, “Calm down.”

“I’m not sure I would be.” 

“Would be what?”

“A good Mum.” Patsy admitted. 

“Oh Patsy…” Trixie whispered as she watched her best friend begin to cry. She stood and made her way around the desk, standing next to her friend and pulling her close. 

“I’m good at my job. I’m good at being a Doctor. I think I’m good at being a Wife most the time but a Mum? Trixie, I’m too selfish, too cold and aloof and it’s not as if I’ve had any good role models. I know how to be Delia’s wife, I know how to deliver a baby and I know how to care for mothers but I don’t know how to be a parent and I sure as hell won’t put a child through what I went through.” 

“You’re child wouldn’t go through what you went through.” 

“I promised Delia anything and everything she wanted. But I’m not sure I can deliver on this.” Patsy cried, “I’m scared.”

“Sweetie, didn’t you and Delia ever discuss children before you got married?” 

“No!” Patsy sighed, “Don’t say we should have done.” 

“Didn't you have any inclination Delia wanted children?”

“Not really.”

“Are you sure? Or did you do the Patsy Mount special of pretending you didn’t notice?”

“She never said!” 

“Did she need to say?” Trixie asked carefully, “Because she’s never told me she does but watching her I just assumed you two were waiting.” 

Patsy exhaled sadly as she shook her head. It was true, Delia had always been a natural with children and she often brooded over babies and looking back, Patsy realised that Trixie was right, she had just pretended not to notice. She’d always loved how Delia wore her heart so candidly on her sleeve. Truth be told it had often made things easier for her as difficult conversations were so often avoided, but now, she realised that this was one of the things she should have brought up. 

“You need to talk to her about this. Tell her the truth.”

“I can’t.” Patsy whined, “and I can’t deny her what she truly wants.”

“You can and you’re not.” Trixie sighed, she recognised the signs of self-destructing Patsy, “The only thing that woman has ever wanted in her life is you.”

“And now she wants a baby and I’m too insecure to give her that.”

“No you’re not! You just need to work through those insecurities.” Trixie exclaimed, “But not with me, with your wife, the woman you love. I know you Patsy, and I know you want a family.” 

“I-“

“You do. You love children. You love Delia. I know it’s not something you’ve thought about but look at how you’ve answered me. If you didn’t want a baby you’d have just said it outright and stubbornly refused to budge but instead it’s all been about what you can’t give YOUR child. I think you need to start thinking about what you _can_ give your child.” 

Patsy sat quietly so Trixie continued.

“You and Delia are two of the most loving and compassionate people I know, and I don’t believe anyone could give a child the love, care and stability that you two could.”

“Trixie.” Patsy croaked.

“Talk to Delia. Tell her what you’ve told me. I’m sure she’ll manage to get you to open up more than I ever will but that starts with you Patsy. Don’t throw her and everything you have away because you’re too scared to take a hold of your future.” 

With a kiss to the top of her head and one final squeeze, Trixie left the office. Patsy sighed, her head falling to her hands. She looked up at the photo of her and Delia on their wedding day and picked it up, her finger brushing over Delia’s smiling form. She knew that no matter what happened in the future, she wanted it to be full of photos like this. 

—

Delia had been in a mood all day. She hadn’t been obvious to her patients as she went through their routine checks and scans. She’d smiled gleefully, laughed with them and been utterly charming as usual but her eyes lacked a certain sparkle and once the patients left, a quiet more troubled woman appeared. 

All she could think about was Patsy and that in itself had her irritated. Why was Patsy so utterly consuming? Why did she have to think about her every bloody day - non stop - even when she didn’t want to?  Every child reminded her of their conversation last night and the fact Patsy didn’t seem to want to children at all. She wondered what it would mean for them if Patsy truly decided she didn’t want any children. Delia knew she didn’t want a future without her red-headed Doctor but she also wondered if she could ever truly be content without a child now that longing had settled in. Of course, Patsy hadn’t said an outright no but Delia knew well enough that hesitation was usually Patsy’s way of letting her down gently. 

“Hello Delia.” 

Barbara waved excitedly as she stood fiddling with a pen trying to clip it to her uniform. 

“Afternoon Barbara.” Delia returned. “Is it changeover time already?” 

“It is.” Barbara returned, the young and often clumsy young woman stopped and studied Delia for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“Yes just tired.” 

“Ah, anniversary antics?” 

“Something like that.” Delia murmured. 

“I can’t wait until Tom and I get married.” Barbara sighed dreamily. Delia had to bite back a retort about _‘checking you’re both on the same page about children.’_ “I hope we’re as happy as you and Patsy are.” 

Delia had to bite her lip then as she felt tears attempt to creep up on her. She pushed them back, swallowing the emotion before smiling and nodding at Barbara. 

“I should go-“

“Oh! Speaking of Patsy, she asked if you could stop by her office.”

“Why?” 

“No idea. She didn’t seem in the best of moods either to be honest. Val said she’s been sharp all morning.” Barbara admitted, “Though Val also thinks it’s courtesy of the hangover from hell… Chummy told her you two were off to The Gun.” 

“Yes. Thanks Babs, look I need to get going… enjoy your evening.” 

“Bye Delia!” 

Delia stalked down the corridor to the locker room. Patsy could bloody well wait. Just because she’d decided to become a Doctor didn’t mean she could just order her to her office as and when she liked and nor could she take their argument out on the staff. She tore her work clothes off angrily, stuffing them into her bag and replacing them with her gym gear. She was tempted to forgo the racer back and just wear her sports bra in order to torture Patsy further, knowing her wife had a weakness for her in it, but her professionalism won out and she quickly chucked both a racer-back and a hoodie on before making her way to Patsy’s office. 

She entered without knocking - defiant by her standards. Patsy always told her she didn’t need to knock but Delia always did. She stood in the door way expectantly looking at Patsy who, damn it, was wearing her glasses. Delia felt a swell of anger just for Patsy having the nerve to look attractive. 

“Can you close the door please Delia?” 

“What is this about? I need to go the gym.”

“You went this morning.” Patsy responded tensely. 

“And I’m going again. I need to train with Liz.”

“Liz?”

“Duckworth? My partner for the pairs competition this weekend. It’s our last day to train.” 

“Right. Delia, the door please.” 

Delia huffed at Patsy’s cold tone and entered the room properly, shutting the door behind her. She stood arms folded in front of Patsy’s desk. 

“I need to talk to you about Miss Raynor.” 

Delia, suddenly feeling guilty, sat down in the chair in front of Patsy’s desk. She’d thought Patsy had called her in for personal matters, it hadn’t occurred to her that this might be work-related. 

“The lady with the heart problem?” 

“Yes.” Patsy removed her glasses and began to chew one arm. Delia crossed her legs uncomfortably but Patsy didn’t notice. “Her cardiologist wants to operate as soon as possible. The problem is he can’t guarantee the safety of her baby. She naturally wants the baby to be safe, almost above her own safety and her fiancee wants the both of them to be saved. It’s been suggested that we perform a caesarean and then allow her to be sent down to theatre for the heart operation. Whilst I have no say over what happens in cardiology I do have a say in what happens with baby.” 

“Then why am I here?” 

“I want your opinion.” Patsy replied, “Cardiology have told me she needs the operation but Miss… what’s her first name… Freda, wants to give birth naturally. There’s huge risk no matter what course of action we take but I haven’t given her my recommendation yet. I told her I wanted to research it.” 

“And have you?”

“Yes but I usually find the midwife knows more than any Doctor.” 

“Except when the Doctor trained as a midwife first?” Delia smirked. 

“I know when to ask for advice.” Patsy replied with a smile of her own. “So?”

“I need to read the full case here Pats but if cardiology think she’s at high risk and needs the operation, and she wants the baby safe then the risk of performing a caesarean and then sending her to cardiology seem worth it to me.”

“I’ll bring her notes home with me.” Patsy smiled. When Delia had first come in to her office she’d felt a definite chill, now that ice seemed to have thawed slightly, the red head was keen to ensure it didn’t return.

“Alright. Leave them on the kitchen table.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’ll be in bed by the time I get back.” 

“How long are you planning on spending at the gym?” Patsy frowned, the ice creeping back in.

“A good couple of hours but I’m going for a drink with some of them afterwards.” 

“I was hoping we could talk.” Patsy said quietly. 

“About?”

“You know what about, stop being so bloody unfair Delia!” Patsy found herself increasingly irritated by Delia’s mood. 

“Unfair? I’ll tell you what’s unfair shall I? You snapping at your staff because we’ve had an argument. Oh yes, I’ve heard all about Dr Mount’s ‘hangover’.” 

“I’m not-“

“I’ll see you later.” Delia cut her off and walked out of the office. 

Patsy, for the millionth time that day, ran her hands through her hair with a mutter of ‘bloody woman.’ Stubborn Delia was nothing short of infuriating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a slow burn... I promise there will be fluffy Pupcake and babies eventually!


	4. An Honest Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OMG YOU GUYS THE EXIT POLL!!! 
> 
> Ok, so if like me despite having work tomorrow and being at work today and then out on the Labour doorstep all night, you're staying up to watch the election result, I thought you might like a bit of reading...
> 
> And at last... a bit of Pats and Deels fluff!

“Bloody hell. A pint of whatever you’ve had.” 

Delia threw the barbell to the floor and shook her head. The usual buzz of a personal best lift overshadowed by the tension with Patsy. 

“You don’t want what I’ve had trust me.” Delia responded to her training partner Liz. 

“Bad day?” The blonde woman asked sympathetically as she set herself up at her own bar.

“Something like that.” 

“Well if your bad mood has you perform like this, don’t rectify it. We’ll smash the competition!” 

Delia had started Crossfit just under a year ago and as with everything had been a natural. A few of the girls she did Parkour with had suggested it and she’d instantly fallen in love with the mix of Olympic Weightlifting, Gymnastics and cardio. She’d done her first solo competition a couple of weeks ago and was excited to step things up and do a Pairs competition at the weekend. 

“You still coming for a drink?” Liz asked hopefully.

Delia hesitated for a moment. She’d taken a lot of her frustration out on the bar and now she realised that maybe she had been unfair to Patsy over the past twenty-four hours. Patsy had wanted to talk and maybe she ought to go home and do just that. The problem was, Delia was petrified of what Patsy was going to say and she wasn’t sure just how ready she was to deal with an answer she didn’t want. She didn’t want to say anything she’d regret and it was that thought that made her agree to go out with Liz and her other friends. 

“Sure.”

—

Patsy yawned. She was absolutely exhausted. Just before leaving she’d had to help Barbara with a nervous first time Mother and then Trixie had caught her on her way out to check on a woman who’s birth wasn’t progressing as quickly as she’d have liked. It had made her extremely late home and now, sat at the kitchen table, she knew she’d have to go to bed. She’d hoped, secretly, that Delia would be home waiting for her - that she’d decided their marriage and their future was more important than impressing her Crossfit buddies. She had been disappointed but not surprised to find the flat empty. She looked at the files that sat in front of her and quickly scribbled a note on a piece of paper before taking herself to bed. 

—

Delia regretted going for a drink. As everyone else laughed all she could think about was Patsy. She should have gone home. Talked about everything and resolved things but instead she’d been a wuss and avoided the situation. Entering the flat as quietly as a mouse, she noticed the files sitting on the kitchen table, a note sat on top in Patsy’s elegant cursive hand. 

_‘Delia, what you think is very important to me. Let me know what you want to do. Patsy x’_

She read the message again. On the surface it seemed like it was referring to the notes but Delia could read the hidden depths. She wasn’t just talking about the case, she was talking about them, their future. A tear slowly slid down Delia’s face as she began to read the notes. 

—

Patsy awoke to Delia’s body wrapped around her. She smiled, revelling in the warmth of her wife for a few moments before slowly disentangling herself. A sleepy Delia groaned, evidently unimpressed at losing her pillow.

“Pats.” She mumbled, not yet awake.

“Shush, darling, go back to sleep.” Patsy whispered, kissing her forehead and standing up. A glancing thought that she was meant to be angry at Delia floated across the forefront of her mind but one look at her slumbering wife had her pushing it away.  

“Love you.” Delia muttered into the pillow falling straight back to sleep. 

“I love you too.” Patsy whispered, barely audible, “More than you’ll ever know.” 

—

Delia had awoken to a cold and empty flat. She didn’t start work until ten and would be leaving at three so she could go and catch her train to Leeds for the competition. She’d wanted the entire day off but Barbara had a wedding dress fitting and wanted to take her maid of honour, Phyllis which left them short staffed. Patsy had worked it so that Delia could have a short shift and had promised to assign her the general check ups. 

After packing her bag and checking it five times she wandered into the hospital, an hour early for her shift. She smiled as she noticed Trixie applying a layer of mascara in the mirror of the locker room. 

“Morning Trix.” 

“Morning.” Trixie replied. “Nervous for tomorrow?”

“Excited.” Delia beamed. 

“I’m glad. You’ll miss Patsy though I imagine? She mentioned she wasn’t going with you.”

“Of course.” 

“She mentioned she wasn’t going with you because she wasn’t entirely convinced you'd want her there.” Trixie continued. 

“She wasn’t coming before our argument.” Delia replied hotly, annoyed that Patsy could obviously discuss the topic of children with Trixie but not with her. 

“She was actually.” Trixie said with a knowing look, “She wanted to surprise you. Had me looking for hotels and apartments in Leeds.” 

“What?” 

“Delia, it’s not my place to get involved but I’ve known Patsy a long time and I have never seen her this insecure in all the time you’ve been together. Please, just talk to her. Don’t let her revert to stone cold Doctor Mount who blocks everything out.” Trixie pleaded.

“She doesn’t have anything to say.” Delia defended uncomfortable with the blonde’s forwardness and honesty. 

“But she does Delia.” Trixie implored. “Trust me.” 

With that Trixie left. 

—

Patsy beamed as she handed over the little boy to his parents. She watched happily with Val as they cooed over him. 

“Thank you, all of you.” The woman holding her new son cried, “He’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” The second woman, her wife, whispered as she too looked down at the bundle, “You both are.” 

“Can you handle things from here Val?” Patsy asked, her voice unusually raspy. 

“Of course.” 

Patsy left the room and leant back against the wall, eyes closed. For a fleeting moment, she’d imagined her and Delia in that position and the image had been almost physically painful. She inhaled deeply, hands pinned against the wall, focussing on the smoothness of it. 

“Are you alright Doctor Mount?” 

Patsy opened her eyes and noticed Phyllis looking back at her with concern - evidently just returned from the fitting with Barbara. Patsy had known Phyllis for years, in fact, it had been Phyllis who after mentoring her during her time as a midwife had suggested Patsy continue her eduction and become a Doctor. The older woman had been especially pleased when Patsy got the job of consultant on their small, award winning maternity ward. 

“Fine. Just taking a moment. Have you seen Delia?” Patsy asked urgently. Her mind formulating a plan. 

“Yes, but she’s not quite where she’s meant to be. Charlotte Sanders went into labour early so she’s delivering her baby. Charlotte was insistent on Delia so she and Winifred swapped.”

“How far along is she?” 

“Oh I doubt she’ll be long…” 

“Could you ask her to come to my office when she’s finished?” Patsy asked, “I need to discuss Freda Raynor with her.”

“Of course.” 

“Thank you Phyllis.” 

Phyllis watched the consultant leave with a knowing smile. 

—

It was one o’clock when Delia finally made it to Patsy’s office. She noticed the blinds were down and frowned - why on Earth was Patsy sitting in the dark? Besides Patsy liked to be able to see what was going on on the ward. Deciding to find out rather than stand outside wondering, Delia opened the door and gasped. 

Patsy was stood in the corner leaning against her filing cabinet, smiling nervously and somewhat sheepishly as Delia closed the door behind her. Two pizza boxes sat on her desk as well as a collection of candles (which Delia was sure were not allowed in hospitals) and a few bottles of fizzy pop ranging from Diet Coke right through to Irn Bru. 

“Pats?” 

“I didn’t want you to go to Leeds without us having sorted this out.” Patsy said quietly, moving away from the cabinet and walking to where Delia was stood. She reached behind her wife and locked the door before taking Delia’s hands in hers. “Plus I thought you might be hungry after missing lunch and you athlete’s need carbs before a comp right?”

“I’m not an athlete.” Delia laughed. “What’s with the candles?”

“I thought we could try anniversary dinner again.” Patsy smiled, “Dominos awaits you madam.” 

“How romantic.”

Delia allowed Patsy to lead her to the chair opposite her desk and sat down. She opened the pizza box and smiled. New Yorker with extra cheese. Just how she liked it. She smirked as she noticed Patsy’s more conservative Cheese and Tomato. They both ate in silence. Neither daring to break the truce they seemed to have found. It was Patsy who spoke first.

“Delia, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I reacted the other night and for being a bit of a closed book since. I just I didn’t know how to tell you… actually, I still don’t know how to tell you the reason I reacted the way I did but I want to try so please bare with me.” 

Delia didn’t answer simply nodded, her hand reaching to squeeze Patsy’s. The older woman caught her hand, running her thumb over the wedding band, almost transfixed by the movement.

“I’ve not had parents in so long Delia. I know my Father is still alive but he’s not exactly part of my life. I’ve never known that love, that care, that protection. I never thought about the possibility of having children because I don’t have a maternal figure… this isn’t coming out the way I want it to.”

“Carry on.” Delia insisted. She was listening carefully, understanding beginning to dawn. 

“I always thinks it takes a certain kind of someone to be a Mother, a good Mother that is. Someone inherently kind, patient and loving. Someone who is compassionate and tender. Basically, someone like you.” Patsy smiled, “I’m none of those things. I’m cold, aloof and selfish. I know I’m brusque and, I guess, I don’t believe I’d make a good Mother.”

“Pats.”

“Because I have no idea what that means. My mother died when I was nine years old. I don’t have anyone to ask or look up to and I’m scared Delia. Scared that I don’t have that capacity for unconditional love. Scared that I’ll be a failure. Scared that I’ll fuck our kid up the same way my Dad fucked me up.” 

Delia reached over and wiped a tear away that had slid down Patsy’s cheek. 

“And I don’t want to let you down.” Patsy finished. “So there, that’s it. I’m scared. I’m bloody petrified and I’m sorry that my fear is holding us back, that I’m holding us back, again.” 

“Stop it.” Delia insisted. “Stop saying that. You’re not holding us back and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not letting you speak. I’ve had blinkers on and I didn’t even think to consider the reasons why you might not want a child.”

“But that’s the thing Delia.” Patsy said, picking up a gift bag from by the side of her desk and handing it to Delia. “I don't want to hold us back any more.”

Delia slowly opened the bag and pulled out a soft tissue paper wrapped present. She frowned, slowly unwrapping it before gasping. She looked up at Patsy, tears falling once more and grinned widely. Patsy too was beaming.

“I do want a child Delia.” Patsy grinned. “Very much.” 

Delia burst into tears at that. She heard Patsy’s chair scrape back and the click of her heels as she made her way around her desk. Delia stood almost blindly and immediately gripped Patsy who’s arms had snaked around her waist. The babygrow Patsy had so lovingly bought clutched in her hand. They stood locked in their embrace for an untold amount of time. 

“I’ve got us some information on options too.” Patsy whispered, pulling back slightly and signalling with her head to the pile of papers on her desk. Delia felt foolish not to have noticed the leaflets. She surmised she must have been too overwhelmed (and too hungry) to have looked properly at the contents of her surroundings.

“How long do we have until chaos descends?” Delia asked glancing to the locked door.

“Everyone is on strict orders not to disturb me unless absolutely necessary.” Patsy responded, “Why?” 

“Because as much as I want to go through the options with you, I don’t think now is the right time.”

“I just wanted to prove to you it’s what I wanted.” Patsy smiled, “So what does Nurse Busby-Mount have in store for Dr Busby-Mount?” 

“No one ever calls you that here.” Delia pouted. “It’s always Doctor Mount.”

“You’re always Nurse Busby.” Patsy responded, mocking her wife’s tone. “I guess it’s old habits and half the staff being too lazy to say two names. Anyway, stop diverting, you haven’t answered my question and as your superior I demand an answer.”

“Pulling rank? That’s rather below the belt.” 

“I’d hoped so.” 

“Well to answer your question from yesterday, I agree with the C-Section and cardiology plan.” 

“Delia, that’s killing the mood.”

“And to answer your question from today… I plan on making up with you.” 

“Here?” Patsy blushed although the sudden fire between her legs betrayed the fact she was more than a little bit excited by the prospect. “In my office in the middle of the afternoon?”

“Yes.” Delia responded by attacking Patsy’s neck with kisses whilst pushing her back towards the desk. She paused, noticing the still lit candles and blew them out quickly. “I don’t intend on going away without making up properly.” 

“We’ll have to be quiet.” Patsy warned whilst craning her neck to the side allowing Delia better access. 

“It’s not me we need to worry about.” 

Patsy was about to reply when she felt Delia’s lips on hers. Well, there were worse ways to spend the afternoon. 

—

“Well we have definitely made up.” Patsy chuckled as she put her blouse back on, watching with ravenous eyes from her leather chair as Delia replaced her uniform. 

“Quite. Sorry about the state of your office.” Delia winced as she took in her surroundings as she placed herself carefully on Patsy’s lap. Papers that were once on the desk were now allover the floor, pizza boxes were flung to a corner and the unmistakable smell of their activities mixed with the pizza meant Patsy would not be entertaining guests in her office anytime soon. 

“Worth it.” Patsy grinned kissing her wife softly. “Although I do feel slightly guilty at having so much fun on NHS time. I’m going to stay late tonight to make up for our debauchery.” 

“Way to make me feel guilty too!” 

“You shouldn’t have even been in.” Patsy conceded, kissing her once more. 

“Patsy… Trixie told me about your planned surprise.” 

“What? Seriously? That woman can’t keep a bloody secret-“

“She told me because she said you weren’t coming. That you didn’t think I’d want you there. Well, if you were still planning a surprise, you wouldn’t be unwelcome, in fact rather the opposite.” Delia said. “But I understand if it’s too late-“

“Well it’s not much of a surprise really is it?” Patsy laughed, “I’ve booked us a luxury apartment in the City Centre for tomorrow night. I know you were planning on travelling back down with your Crossfit buddies but I hoped I’d be able to persuade you to opt for a dirty weekend with your wife instead?” 

“I don’t need persuading.” Delia whispered, “But, I do need to get going.” She added sadly glancing at Patsy’s watch. “I feel a little guilty leaving this mess to you though.”

“Nonsense.” Patsy refuted as Delia stood up and made her way round the desk towards the door.. “Enjoy tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow at the ‘box’.” 

“You’re watching me?” Delia asked, touched, as Patsy followed her.

“I’ll be the fish out of water.” 

“Nonsense.” Delia replied as Patsy wrapped her arms back around her, “You’re making it very hard for me to leave.” 

“Good.” Patsy whispered dipping her head and kissing Delia with passion. They were both getting carried away when Delia heard a clatter from outside, bringing her back to her senses. 

“Clean this office up.” Delia whispered pulling away, “I’ll miss you.”

“It’s one night.” Patsy chuckled. Kissing Delia once more before releasing her and bending to pick the pizza boxes up and deposit them in the bin. Delia grinned and turned for the door when Patsy called her. She turned to see Patsy looking up from her haunches, a wad of paper in her hands. 

“What?” Delia asked. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Delia beamed before leaving the office feeling lighter than she had in weeks.


	5. Bubbling Beneath The Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy watches Delia at her competition (and is supportive af) but learns her insecurities are closer to the surface than she might think.

Patsy almost fainted in relief when she saw some other members of Delia’s gym littered on the sidelines. She felt rather out of place in the gym with people in sports gear everywhere. They waved her over, indicating she should hurry. 

“They’re just doing a one rep max squat clean! Delia’s smashing it!” One of the women, Joan, if Patsy remembered right, beamed. “She’s matched her PB and now she’s trying to beat it but she’s one got a minute to do it.”

Patsy watched as Delia took a breath. She could see her wife was nervous of the added weight and watched as Delia took another huge breath before setting up. Everyone was watching with baited with breath. 

“Come on Deels!” Patsy called. “You can do it!” 

Delia turned and smiled at her wife briefly, before turning back, her face setting into one of determination. Patsy held her breath as Delia lifted the bar, dropping under it and sitting in the squat holding her breath. She could hear everyone around her cheering Delia’s name as Delia began to rise, her legs shaking. 

“Go on Delia!” Patsy called as Delia struggled, face screwed up. “You can do this, come on!”

The call must have worked as with a renewed strength Delia straightened out reaching the required extension before dropping the bar and cheering, happy to receive a hug of Liz and a high five off her judge. The Crowd from their gym was going wild as the buzzer beeped to indicate time was up. There must only have been ten of them at most there but they were certainly the loudest. 

Within seconds Delia was with them, her arms flinging around Patsy who kissed her cheek warmly.

“Well done sweetheart.” Patsy beamed. “So that’s a squat clean is it?” 

“I wish you’d come with me Pats.” 

“I’m not sure I could control myself.” Patsy whispered, her voice so low only Delia heard. The Welsh woman blushed. “There’s something about you picking heavy shit up and putting it back down again in a variety of different ways.” 

“Wait until the gymnastics.”

—

Delia and Liz had won which meant Patsy had found herself in a pub eating a hearty meal and drinking far too much with everyone from the gym. Delia was glowing with the euphoria of winning and her mood had taken a playful, almost dangerous turn, as her hand slid up and down Patsy’s leg under the table. Patsy was struggling to keep eating and as Delia’s hand pressed lightly onto the seam of her jeans between her legs, the red head coughed, almost choking on her steak. 

“Steady on!” Liz laughed, handing Patsy a glass of water.

“Are you alright Patsy?” Delia asked innocently, one finger lightly circling.

“Perfectly fine.” Patsy gasped. “Gosh, what a klutz I’ve got peppercorn sauce on my top.” 

She stood, making for the bathroom. Delia watched her go, satisfied and smug with her work. Liz turned to her. 

“Are you sure she’s alright?” 

“She’s fine.” Delia chuckled, “But you know Patsy, she can’t possibly have one hair out of place… never mind sauce on her blouse.” Delia looked up towards the toilets, “Although I might go check.” 

Delia entered the toilets and was confused when she didn’t see Patsy at the sink. She wondered for a moment where she was when she noticed one cubicle occupied. She smirked. 

“Pats?”

The cubicle door opened and Delia was bundled in unceremoniously and placed up against it. Within seconds, Patsy’s lips were upon hers, her thigh pressing harshly against Delia who almost automatically began to grind upon it, a moan escaping into Patsy’s lips.

“You’re an absolute minx.” Patsy growled as she nibbled on her wife’s ear. “Is this what happens when you win?” 

“I’m just claiming my prize.” Delia rasped, biting back another moan as Patsy attacked her throat finding the exact spot that sent the brunette wild. 

“Hmm… well your _prize_ is going back to the apartment.” Patsy whispered in her ear, “Because if she doesn’t, she’ll have to take you right here in the toilets and that wouldn’t be at all hygienic.” 

“You and your hygiene.” Delia gasped as Patsy’s hand snaked up her t-shirt, feather light fingers traipsing over her breasts. 

“Besides, we need all the practise we can get.”

“I thought we were already well-versed.” Delia responded breathlessly, struggling to maintain control as Patsy’s lips attacked her, her thigh pushing harder and harder into her. Patsy didn’t respond, simply continued her assault. “Wait, you don’t mean because of us deciding on having a-“

Patsy pulled away and looked at Delia with lust filled eyes. She raised her eyebrows and smirked, her hand toying with Delia’s hair. Delia chuckled, amused by Patsy’s joke and playful mood.

“Dr Busby-Mount didn’t anyone ever teach you the birds and the bees?” 

“I require a reminder.” Patsy responded, taking hold of Delia’s hand and placing it on her own chest. 

“I thought you were concerned about hygiene?” Delia asked, her hand working of it’s own accord, fingers teasing a hardened nipple. 

“Some things require urgent attention.” Patsy moaned as Delia’s hand slid down lower and lower until-

“Delia? We’re moving on!” 

Both women had to bite their tongues to try and halt their groans as they pulled away. Patsy gestured at Delia’s lips before quickly wiping her finger across them removing the traces of red lipstick as Delia straightened Patsy’s blouse out before opening the door to see Joan stood smirking. 

“We’re gonna get back to the apartment I think.” Delia responded with a wicked grin. Joan laughed as Patsy flushed, evidently embarrassed by her wife’s lack of subtlety. 

“Enjoy your celebrations.” Joan winked, “I’ll say goodbye to the others for you!”

The woman left and Patsy and Delia both glanced at each other before laughing. Patsy could still feel her face flaming and she decided, she rather desperately needed to get back to their apartment. As Joan said there were celebrations to be had. She took Delia’s hand, squeezing it before leading her out of the pub. Delia chuckled at her enthusiasm, neither noticing Liz stood finishing her drink with a cigarette.

“Have fun.” She called. 

“We will.” Delia beamed with a wink at her training partner.

“Make the most of it.” Liz said blandly, puffing on her cigarette, “You won’t have the opportunity when you’re Mum of the year.” 

Delia felt Patsy blanche slightly at the comment, a different kind of tension entering the taller woman’s body. 

“Thank you for your insight.” Patsy replied, her voice pleasant enough but dripping with a frost that was rarely heard off the ward. 

Delia smiled back at Liz before waving quickly as Patsy pulled her forward. She wondered why Liz’s comment had wound her wife up so much - could it be that she was having second thoughts? Delia felt her heart sink at the thought. She remained silent though as Patsy led her to their apartment. She didn’t have a moment to appreciate the sleekness of the modern city penthouse as Patsy dropped her hand and walked through to the living room, sitting down on the black leather sofa, her head in her hands. Delia followed cautiously, almost as though she scared any sudden movement would scare her wife off. She waited for a moment before sitting next to Patsy on the sofa, waiting for her to speak. 

“I can’t do this.” 

Delia felt her heart sink. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is short... and sorry for ruining the fluff-fest with more angst... but Patsy has stuff to work through and she should work through it? Right? Maybe? 
> 
> *Runs off to finish binge watching OITNB*


	6. Let Me In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia tries to get Patsy to open up, but she doesn't quite go about it the right way to start with.

“What?” 

“I can’t do it, Delia.” Patsy cried, her eyes stinging with tears.

“Why?” Delia asked.

“How does Liz even know?” Patsy responded instead.

“She’s my training partner. She asked me about a competition later in the year and I thought she deserved an explanation as to why I might not be able to do it. Besides, you told Trixie.” 

Patsy nodded.

“Anyway, this isn’t about Liz and whether or not she’s aware. This about why you feel you can’t. There’s got to be a reason Pats.”

“I just can’t.”

“That’s not a good enough answer.”

Patsy remained silent, unwilling to look at her wife. Delia took a breath trying to halt the annoyance she could feel creeping upon her. Why couldn’t Patsy ever just open up about how she felt? How could Liz’s comment about them making the most of being able to run home and make love make Patsy have this reaction? Unless…

“Because you think our sex life is going to suffer?” Delia snapped. She took another breath, that had come out a lot angrier than she had meant and expected it to. Her annoyance screaming that it was the only credible option. 

“Fuck off Delia.” Patsy growled, standing up, “If you seriously think that then you can fuck off.” Tears were rolling down her face. “I mean it.”

“Don’t tell me to fuck off, Patsy.” Delia tried her best to remain calm, realising that she had to let go of the irritation that was holding her, but this was so unlike her wife and she wanted to get to the bottom of it. She would have to change tactics if she wanted to get the red head to open up and she knew from experience that her current methods filled with accusation would do more harm than good. 

“You evidently don't think much of me to ask me that.” Patsy moved to the window and looked out of it, “You think I’m so shallow that I would change my mind because we won’t be able to fuck as and when we please?”

“I don’t know, Patsy!” Delia shot back, her voice rising. She paused, trying to bring her tone back down, “Talk to me!” 

“Talk to you?” Patsy laughed, “I _did_ talk to you. I told you. I told you everything and you just accused me of not wanting a baby because I think our sex life is going to suffer.” Patsy shook her head, “You’re being an absolute arse, Delia.”

Delia sighed, running her thumb and forefinger over her eyes. Maybe she had jumped to conclusions but how else did Patsy expect her to take it? It was a long time since she’d had to deal with ‘insecure Pats’ and she suddenly found herself out of practise. When they’d first gotten together Patsy had been an enigma and Delia had had to slowly chip away at the red-head’s walls. Over the years, she’d changed, becoming confident in who she was and much more open. Now, it appeared that Patsy had yet another wall that Delia would have to break through. 

“Patsy.” Delia said calmly, “This isn’t something that we can solve in one conversation. We need to keep talking. If I’m misunderstanding then correct me.” She walked steadily towards Patsy who was still turned away from her. She waited for a few moments, silence. “Pats…”

“She said Mum of the Year.” Patsy mumbled.

“What?” Delia frowned. 

“Mum. Singular.” Patsy finally turned around. Delia felt her heart break as she took in Patsy’s blotchy, wet face. “She looked at you and said Mum of the Year… she was talking to you.” 

“Patsy.”

“She knows that I’ll be shit.” Patsy replied, “I’m not good enough Delia!” 

Delia moved like lightning, pulling Patsy into her arms, her own tears beginning to fall as Patsy sobbed into her shoulder. Not for the first time, Delia found herself cursing everyone who had ever hurt Patsy - namely her Father whose lack of love and care for this daughter had left her full of insecurities. She wondered if Patsy would ever see herself as others saw her. If she would ever fully break down the walls that encased the biggest, most loving heart there was. 

“Mum… not Mums.” Patsy whispered. “I don’t want to let you down, I don’t want to let our baby down… I always…”

“No. Stop it.” Delia pushed Patsy away from her, gripping her shoulders as she looked into Patsy’s eyes. “You could never let me down. Never. And you are going to be the most fantastic Mum. I promise you and you know what I say about promises, don’t you?”

“Don’t make them if you can’t keep them.” Patsy mumbled, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Exactly.” Delia whispered, “I know this isn’t easy for you, cariad.” 

“No.”

“So let me help you. Keep talking to me. We don’t have to rush this.” Delia promised, moving her hands down Patsy’s arms and taking her hands as Patsy nodded, “I love you, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.” 

“I love you too.” Patsy responded quietly but sincerely. She glanced at their joined hands and smiled, “I rather ruined the mood didn’t I?” 

“I’d rather we talk about this.” Delia replied softly. “I want you to be happy Pats.”

“I want us both to be happy.” Patsy responded, “You’re everything, Delia.”

“You old sap.” Delia teased, wiping Patsy’s eyes tenderly, “Now, you promised me a dirty weekend with my wife…”

“I did.”

“And what did we say about promises, Mrs Busby-Mount?” 

“We said not to make promises we can’t keep… So, I better make good on my promise hadn’t I, Mrs Busby-Mount?”

Delia never did get chance to reply as Patsy’s lips found hers in a searing kiss filled with love, commitment and understanding - a kiss that told a thousand words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this, and to those of you sending requests for What Feelings Sound Like. I promise I'm working on them, life is just slightly hectic. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter... I'm actually finding writing 'arguing but still madly in love' Pats and Deels quite difficult as even though they're having these conversations and sometimes being hurtful, they still absolutely love and support one another. I always find that paradox the hardest! 
> 
> I'm gonna stop rambling now...


	7. Active Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos and especially to those of you who comment! You're the best. 
> 
> So, this was originally two separate chapters but I decided to merge them into one big, bumper chapter. Sorry if it's a bit of a filler but I've written so far ahead with this, I want to get it moving a little!

Delia awoke to an empty spot next to her. She groaned, running her hand over the sheets that were still slightly warm. She rolled over and picked up her phone noting that the time read eight thirty. She smiled as her senses slowly awakened. She could hear Radio Four playing quietly as Patsy moved around the space quietly, making breakfast, she assumed. She could smell bleach and coffee and the unmistakable waft of pancakes. She stood, stretching before wandering to the kitchen of the small apartment. She leant against the door, smiling softly, as she watched a dressing gown clad Patsy making breakfast. The taller woman was completely unaware until Delia wrapped her arms around her wife from behind, leaning her cheek against her back. 

“Morning darling.” Patsy hummed. 

“Morning.” Delia yawned. 

“Tired?” Patsy chuckled as she slid a pancake onto a plate. 

“Hmm…”

“Hungry?” Patsy asked, amusement lacing her tone. 

“Hmm…” Delia closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as she relished in the domesticity of the moment. 

Eyes closed, Delia could see a future so vivid that she had to choke back a sob at how beautiful it seemed. Patsy stood, not in this apartment, but in their home back in London, making breakfast in one of her pencil skirts nagging about whether the homework had been done. She sighed, squeezing Patsy tighter, pressing a kiss against her back. 

“Darling.” Patsy breathed, turning around slowly and taking her wife into her arms, pressing a kiss into dark hair. “The pancakes are going to get cold.” 

Delia with one final hum nodded and pulled away. Patsy brought the pancakes over along with various toppings to the table. Delia smirked slightly - pancakes was the first thing Patsy had ever cooked for her - largely because it was the only dish she could make to absolute perfection. The redhead wasn’t a bad cook but she didn’t have time to slog over an oven for hours and hours. Pancakes being quick and easy, savoury and sweet had become a favourite and so when Delia had stayed over at Patsy’s flat for the first time, the (then blonde) woman had made pancakes for breakfast. They’d held a special place in the Welsh woman’s heart every since. 

“Did you go out and buy the ingredients?” Delia asked, “Or are you just that good at finding AirBnB’s?” 

“I picked some up before I came to watch you yesterday. Speaking of which, aren’t you in absolute agony?” Patsy asked noticing the way Delia was sitting and gingerly picking at her pancake. 

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.” Delia admitted, “And last night’s activities probably didn’t help…”

“Not what you mean by an ‘active recovery’ then?” Patsy smirked. 

“No.” Delia laughed. 

They ate in a comfortable silence, happy to just look into one another’s eyes and listen to the radio. Patsy was the first to finish and checked her phone as she waited for Delia to finish. The minute Delia did finish she stood, taking the plates and putting them in the sink of waiting warm water. Delia turned as she heard Patsy rummaging in her handbag, surprised when the red-head returned with leaflets and her iPad. 

“I… I thought we could start looking at options.” Patsy smiled nervously, fiddling with her fingers. It was a tick from when she used to smoke. Once of a day she’d never be seen without a cigarette but Delia had slowly worn her down and guilt tripped her into packing them in. Now, she only smoked socially and even then she felt guilty - almost as though she was betraying her wife with every puff. “I went and picked up some information… there’s lots to look at.”

Delia took the leaflets and flicked through them, reading each carefully. She could feel Patsy watching her but continued to read. As she finished the first leaflet which outlined the ‘options available to lesbian and bisexual women’ she turned to her wife. 

“I never actually thought about how we’d go about it.” Delia admitted, smiling as Patsy tucked a stand of dark hair behind her ear. 

“There’s a myriad of options.” Patsy agreed, “We just need to make the right one for us.” 

“Do you have any… preference?” Delia asked. “I mean, would you want to…”

“Carry?” Patsy finished, “I’m not sure I would. I… I guess I’ve never thought about it though before now but I don’t need that, you know? I could love a child without carrying it.”

“I’ve thought about it.” Delia said quietly, “I used to look at pregnant women as they walked by and I used to feel a little sad. Sad that I’d never get that. When you’re younger you don’t get told about adoption and surrogacy or sperm donors. As a lesbian I just thought it’d be a sacrifice I’d have to make.”

“Delia if you want to look into sperm donors, we can do that.” Patsy promised, “You don’t need to sacrifice anything.” 

“But there’s so many children in care, children who need to be loved.” 

“I know.” Patsy agreed with a soft sigh, “But no one will think any worse of you because you want to experience those things. Besides, who is to say that we can’t adopt in the future?”

“From no babies to multiple?” Delia dared.

“A future.” Patsy said, “We don’t have to decide today. I just thought we could start talking about it.”

“I know… and I’m grateful, really Pats.” 

Patsy smiled and offered her hand to the Welsh woman who took it, groaning as she stood up. Everywhere was as stiff as a board and she grumbled as Patsy led her to the bedroom. Delia shook her head.

“Patsy, no…” Delia whined. “No active recovery.”

“No, no active recovery.” Patsy laughed enjoying their new code name for their martial activities, “But a massage?” 

“Now you’re talking.” Delia beamed, removing her vest top and shorts and lying face down on the bed. “Then sleep?”

“Then a bath full of epsom salts and bubbles, then sleep.” Patsy promised, taking a bottle of massage oil and placing a liberal amount on her hands, “This will help too.” She added, placing her hands on Delia’s shoulders and beginning to work them. 

“You’re the best wife in the world, did you know that?” Delia murmured, totally relaxed. 

“I’ll remind you of that next time I’m in your bad books.” 

-

Their time in Leeds came to an end all too quickly and Monday morning had rolled around. Delia was still stiff from the weekend and groaned as she moved around the flat getting ready. She wondered why on Earth she hadn’t thought to book today off? She was going to be absolutely knackered by lunch time never mind at six o clock when her shift would end. 

Patsy on the other hand was full of beans. The weekend had provided her with some clarity on their shared future and despite her insecurities, she felt ready to fully embrace it. She’d spent the entire train journey back to London researching sperm donors and had set up an appointment for later in the week. The thought filled her equally with nerves and excitement. 

Eventually, with Delia finally ready, the pair had made their way to the hospital. Patsy was gripping Delia’s hand, smiling and greeting everyone she met. Happy to brag about Delia’s victory to those who asked. The Welsh woman smirked at her wife, amused by her excitement and touched by her new found enthusiasm. They’d spent a lot of the weekend talking through their feelings and it seemed it was helping.

“How was the apartment?” 

Patsy beamed as she began to tell Trixie in detail about the apartment. Delia was only half listening, too tired to enthuse about claw-footed bath tubs no matter how brilliant it had been. It was only when she tuned back in five minutes later that she realised Patsy was now gushing over her.

“She was incredible. I’ve never been so proud in my entire life.” 

“She’s exaggerating.” Delia drawled, smiling wearily at Trixie. 

“I’m not at all!” Patsy refuted. 

“You look tired, Delia.” Trixie commented, “Don’t suppose I could persuade you to come to my Keep Fit class after work? Little bit of active recovery?” 

Patsy snorted before quickly turning into a cough. Active Recovery had taken on a whole new meaning over the course of the weekend and she highly doubted that _their_ version of Active Recovery would be quite what Trixie had in mind for her class.

“Patsy, whatever is the matter?” 

“Nothing. Just got a cough.” Patsy said defensively, her cheeks red. 

“Hmm…” Trixie evidently didn’t believe her. “I won’t ask.” 

“Best not.” Delia chuckled, “But no, you won’t be seeing me at Keep Fit tonight. I need a rest week. I also need to get a move on. My first appointment is in fifteen minutes. I’ll see you later.” 

Patsy and Trixie watched as Delia gingerly walked off to get ready for the day ahead. Trixie spun around and glanced at Patsy who was still watching, a lovestruck grin plastered across her face. 

“You two sorted things out then?” Trixie asked quietly, beginning to walk towards their ward slowly. 

“Yes. Truth be told, we sorted a lot of it out Friday afternoon.” 

“So that’s why you weren’t to be disturbed?” 

Patsy blushed. 

“So?” Trixie pressed, “Are you?”

“What?”

“Having a baby?” 

“We’re looking into our options.” Patsy responded, “But Trixie, will you keep it to yourself? We don’t want the entire hospital knowing about this. I’ve booked us an appointment for Thursday afternoon at a fertility centre to see about sperm donors.” 

“Of course. It’s your news to tell not mine but I think that it’s marvellous.”

“Delia’s torn between adoption and a donor.” Patsy admitted, her voice low as they passed the Nurses station where must their colleagues were sat awaiting to start their day. “I think she wants to carry a baby inside her - but at the same time she thinks there are too many kids in care needing someone to love them.” 

“Well there’s nothing to stop you adopting in the future.” Trixie shrugged, “You don’t have to stop at one child.” 

“Exactly what I said.” Patsy smiled, opening her office door. She could feel Trixie’s incredulous eyes on her. “Yes, I know. On Friday I was having a meltdown… I had one Saturday night as well but… I do want this Trix. I didn’t realise how much actually until I was making breakfast yesterday.” 

“I’m glad you’re figuring things out.” Trixie said, “Although how did breakfast make you come to the realisation you want a house full of kids?”

“Not a house full.” Patsy refuted, setting her bag down and placing her stethoscope around her neck, “But I was making breakfast and Delia came and stood behind me and just… I could almost hear her counting down the minutes until our child came running into the kitchen creating chaos… I saw a future I never imagined and I liked it.” Patsy paused, “Gosh, we need to be getting started. Thanks for listening to me ramble on Trix.” 

“Not a problem.” Trixie grinned, holding the door for Patsy as they walked back into the corridor. 

Patsy nodded before assuming her ‘Doctor Mount’ persona and walking confidently ahead and down the corridor. Trixie watched as she addressed the Midwives at the station, talking about all that they had to do that day. She smiled to herself as she watched her best friend laugh at something Barbara had said, she hadn’t seen Patsy this giddy since she’d first started dating Delia. Trixie knew that Delia was the best thing that had ever happened to the redhead and she was pleased that the Welsh woman had managed to break down Patsy’s walls even further and allow her to open her heart even further. Patsy had such a huge capacity for love and Trixie knew that any child, regardless of how they came to be, would be extremely lucky to have two such devoted parents.

“Trixie? Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to join us?” Patsy called, breaking her thoughts, an amused quirk playing on her lips. 

“I was listening.” Trixie retorted, pushing herself up off the wall and walking towards her colleagues “I was just practising my nonchalant lean at the same time.”

Patsy rolled her eyes, “Well you can nonchalantly lean as you go and see how Mrs Winters is coming along.” 

Trixie pulled a face at the taller woman before floating off. She shook her head, Patsy was definitely going to a be a good Mum - she had the sarcastic reprimand down to an absolute tee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Now off to write more of this cos I've hurt my shoulder so what else could I possibly do but write all day?*
> 
> *Do housework, go shopping, do some actual work...


	8. Getting The Practise In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Delia get a little bit of practise when it comes to babies.

Thursday soon rolled around and after a slow morning the pair had found themselves at the fertility clinic that Patsy had found. They’d discussed their options, donors, pricing, legal requirements and both women’s heads were spinning with all the possibilities. The doctors there had tried to lecture them on the biological aspects, talking about cycles and conception, until Patsy had politely interrupted and told him they both worked on a maternity ward and understood and so the Doctor, slightly red-faced, had moved on to the next steps should they wish to go ahead. After listening intently they’d left, Patsy offering Delia dinner in a quiet restaurant she’d heard about close by. 

“It’s a lot to take in isn't it?” Delia murmured as she ran her fingers over the stem of her wine glass. “I know this is probably naive but I thought we’d go in there, tell them we wanted to have a baby and then that would be that.” 

“There are a lot of hoops to jump through.” Patsy agreed. She paused for a moment before reaching across the table to take Delia’s hand, “But I’ll jump through each and every one of them twice over if I have to.” 

Delia grinned as Patsy ran her thumb over her knuckles. Her eyes were drawn to her wedding band that Patsy was now rubbing gently. 

“Me too.” Delia sighed, she took a tentative breath “So, we’re doing this?” 

“If it’s what you want darling.” Patsy responded gently, “We’re doing this.” 

“There’s nothing I want more.” Delia whispered, voice hoarse as Patsy pressed a kiss to the top of her hand. 

“Now there’s just the mammoth task of all the logistics, choosing a donor…” Patsy chuckled. 

“He has to have red hair.” Delia murmured, her eyes twinkling. “And be fit. If we’re going to have the future champion of all sports everywhere we need good breeding.” 

“He has to be intelligent.” Patsy responded, lips quirked upwards as she enjoyed the game. “If we’re going to have the next leading physician. They need something for when they’ve finished their Olympic career.”

“He needs to be tall… there’s already going to be shorty genes… we need to give our child a chance of normal height.” 

Patsy laughed, “Better make sure he’s over six foot then to counteract your genes.”

“Oi!” Delia laughed, “Good things come in small packages!” 

“They certainly do.” Patsy agreed, “Joking aside, I’ll ring the clinic tomorrow and tell them we wish to proceed, then we can start looking for a donor and then…” 

“We can start our family.” Delia finished. 

“I can’t wait.” 

——

The next day, Delia was sat with Barbara, Chummy and Phyllis taking a well deserved lunch break. The morning seemed to have flown by and Delia felt full of energy, almost as though she was walking on air. Everybody had noticed her cheery mood and that Patsy seemed equally as giddy. No one questioned it, however, they were intrigued as to exactly what had the pair so enthused. Only Trixie was unphased, knowing full well why the two women were on cloud nine. 

“Oh damn, botheration!” Chummy exclaimed as she picked up her phone, “The bloody babysitter has let us down.” 

“Oh no!” Barbara exclaimed, “I would usually offer to help but Tom and I have tickets for Phantom of the Opera tonight.”

“I’m afraid I’m out too lass, or I’d help.” Phyllis sighed sadly.

“It’s no bother. I wasn’t angling for you to give up your Friday evenings on such short notice… it’s just so annoying. Peter and I never go out but we thought it might be nice to have dinner out for his birthday.” Chummy said glumly, “Nevermind I’ll cancel the reservation and rearrange.”

“Don’t do that!” Delia cut in, she’d been listening carefully and although she and Patsy had planned a night in Soho tonight given that they were both off tomorrow and that she should probably ask Patsy first, she was determined to offer their babysitting services - after all, they needed the practise. “Patsy and I will take Freddie.” 

“Oh I couldn’t possibly…” 

“Of course you can.” Delia smiled, “We’d love to. You deserve a night out.” 

“If you’re sure that would be tremendous.” 

“I’m positive.” 

“Thank you old bean. You’re an absolute life saver. Our table is booked for seven thirty.” 

“We’ll be there at seven.” Delia promised. “I best get on. See you later.” 

Barbara, Phyllis and Chummy all watched her walk away before all three turned to look at one another. It was Barbara, surprisingly, who spoke first.

“I’d say somebody is broody.” 

“Best warn Patsy!” Chummy agreed

Phyllis chuckled, “Come on ladies, we should get on too. It’s not our place to speculate.” 

Barbara and Chummy shared a quick glance before nodding. They had their eyes on the Busby-Mount’s. 

 

****\--

“Patsy, for someone who doesn’t want the entire hospital knowing, you’re not doing a good job of going about business as usual.” Trixie sighed as Patsy hummed happily as she filled in some paperwork. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Patsy responded. 

“I mean, everyone is wondering what has both you and Delia in such good moods.” Trixie responded. 

“We’re going out tonight… isn’t that exciting enough?” Patsy commented, “Besides, they should be glad I’m in a good mood.”

“Going out does not make you this excitable… and they are glad but they’re also curious as to why. I’m just saying if you want this to be a big secret then you need to tone down the jollysticks.” 

“Trixie, I am excited though.” Patsy responded, “And it’s not a big secret as such but… well, why can’t we be like any other parents and wait until we’ve one, conceived and two, until we’re safely past the twelve week mark?” 

“You can. Of course you can. I was just saying people are speculating…” Trixie trailed off, “But let them speculate, where are you off tonight?” 

“Soho.” Patsy responded, “We haven’t been out properly on the town for weeks.” 

“Making the most of it I assume then?” Trixie smirked.

“Something like that.” Patsy agreed. 

“Ah, there you are!” 

Both women turned to see Delia approaching them. Both she and Patsy were wearing matching love-struck grins which caused Trixie to shake her head. 

“Hello Deels.” Patsy responded, “Having a good day?” 

“Hello. Yes. Are you two?” 

“I was until I realised I had to deal with Charlene Grimes. In fact, I’m off to prepare myself. Have a good night ladies.” Trixie smiled leaving the two of them to it. 

“Patsy, you didn’t give her Charlene Grimes again? The woman is an utter nightmare.” 

“She’s the next available midwife.” Patsy shrugged, “Anyway, what brings you in search of me?” 

“Ah… it’s about tonight.” 

“I’m so excited.” 

“Well there’s been a change of plan…” 

“What?” Patsy frowned.

“I might have volunteered our services…”

“Services?” Patsy was even more confused, “Delia, this better not be a gym thing.” 

“No it’s not! I might have offered our babysitting services.” 

“Deels!” Patsy groaned, “We were meant to be going out.” 

“It’s for Freddie.” Delia tried hoping it would placate her wife. “We need the practise.” 

“Do we?” Patsy sighed moodily.

“Pats.” 

“I was looking forward to holding you in my arms and dancing the night away.” 

“We can still do that.” 

“No we can’t. We’ll be up to our elbows in baby food, sick and dirty nappies.” Patsy grumbled. 

“You’ll have to get used to it.” Delia commented. She sighed as she noticed the redhead pouting and took her hands, “Come on, you love Freddie.” 

“I know I do.” Patsy replied, a small smile quirking at the corner of her lips, “It still doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off that you didn’t ask me first.” 

“And what would you have said?” Delia probed, eyebrows raised. “No?”

“No.” Patsy grumbled, “Of course not.”

“There we go then.” Delia smirked, “So stop fussing.” 

“I’m not fussing.” Patsy pouted as she filed away the paperwork she’d been filling in. Delia said nothing, causing her to turn around. The look on Delia’s face had her continuing, “Fine, I am fussing, a little bit…”

“Hmm?” Delia hummed moving closer to her wife. “A little bit of a lot?”

“You can’t blame me for a little bit gutted I’m not going to have you all to myself - sharing you with a two year old really doesn’t have the same appeal.” Patsy smiled, she glanced around the ward before taking Delia’s hand discreetly, “But as long as I get to spend my night with you it doesn’t matter what we’re doing.” 

“Sweet-talker.” 

“I try.”

“We’ve to be at Chummy’s for seven.” 

“Seven? Deels, I don’t finish work until six.” 

“Then you can come straight from work can’t you? Not as if you need to change - what do you consultants actually do all day anyway? Parading up and down in pencil skirts that ought to be illegal.” Delia winked cheekily, “I’ll see you tonight Pats.” 

Patsy shook her head as she watched Delia hop off down the corridor. She wondered if she’d ever tire of being on the receiving end of the Welsh woman’s cheek - probably not. 

—

“Rub a dub, dub three men in a tub…” Patsy was singing as she and Delia attempted to bath a very excitable Freddie.

“Why is it three men?” Delia piped in. 

“I don’t know.” Patsy responded, slightly annoyed that her singing had been interrupted. She picked up one of the rubber ducks and began playing with it. Making it swim slowly up to Freddie who splashed happily, “You can’t get all feminist over a nursery rhyme.” 

“Of course I can!” Delia retorted, “To be honest, three men in a tub sounds horrendous.” 

“There’s an absolute multitude of things I could say to that.” Patsy smiled wryly, “But I won’t with such young ears present.” 

Delia chuckled, heart melting slightly as she sat back and watched Patsy play with Freddie who had found his own duck and was copying Patsy’s movement. Patsy’s smile was wide, unguarded and so, so beautiful that Delia felt her heart skip a beat. Watching her wife interact so naturally with the youngster was filling the Welsh woman’s mind with images and hopes for their future. Freddie was giggling away, splashing water at Patsy who gasped before flicking some back, embarking on a new game. Delia shook her head, Patsy for all her bravado was an absolute marshmallow when it came to children and it never failed to warm her heart. 

“Deels?” 

Delia snapped back to reality at Patsy looking at her with a mix of amusement, wonder and questioning. 

“Sorry…” 

“I said could you pass me the towel… this little tike is getting dressed before he floods his Mummy’s bathroom…” Patsy shook her head in mock seriousness as Freddie giggled, “What are you giggling at eh?” 

“You’re just as bad.” Delia said rolling her eyes and handing over the towel.

“Have you heard that Freddie? Have you heard what your Auntie Delia is saying?” Patsy in a lightning fast move whipped him out of the bath and into the towel, causing the young boy to laugh even harder, his hands reaching for her face. “She says your bad influence young man.” 

“I did not!” Delia exclaimed. 

“What do we think?” Patsy asked the young boy, dipping her head and whispering in his ear. She nodded as he said a word back. “I agree… Auntie Delia does indeed.”

“What?” 

“Freddie thinks…” Patsy began leaning down as though to unplug the bath, “That Auntie Delia needs…” She paused for a moment, eyeing her wife before flicking her hand upwards, proceeding to soak her wife, “Punishing for telling such lies.” 

Delia’s mouth dropped as Patsy and Freddie both descended into giggles, the red head quickly leaving the room with the little boy. Delia closed her eyes for a moment, trying to repress the smile that was creeping onto her face. It was useless though, Delia Busby-Mount would always, always have a weakness for Patience Busby-Mount being an absolute natural with children and she couldn’t wait until they had a baby of their very own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another bumper chapter. Hope you enjoyed :D


	9. Mad With Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Delia have a nervous wait... and Phyllis is an absolute brick.

Weeks passed by slowly turning into months - the process moving slowly along until they had everything ready. Donor chosen, method chosen, date chosen. Delia had insisted that Patsy be the one to help her - after all who was better qualified? And so a fortnight ago Patsy had performed the necessary procedure and now it was all down to waiting - and it was torture.

Patsy had been on edge all day. She’d been edgy all week really but today she was insufferable. The midwives kept a wide berth, knowing that one false move would set her off on a tangent. Everyone made an extra effort to keep everything tip, top and bristol fashion. She’d already ticked a young trainee midwife off for not following her super-strict hygiene practises to the letter and no one fancied being on the receiving end of one of Patsy’s moments of ire. 

The only person not phased by Patsy’s mood was Phyllis. The older woman had known the redhead long enough to know that there was something going on and that Patsy would more than likely enter the hospital tomorrow with a box full of donuts and a heart full of apologies for her mood the day before. She could see that the young woman was a dangerous mix of tired and excited, apprehensive and yet hopeful - it was a combination that she saw every day - on this very ward. 

She was therefore not surprised to see Patsy outside on her break, a cigarette between her lips. The red head groaned as she noticed Phyllis but didn’t drop her cigarette. That confirmed it - Patsy was worrying. 

“Delia will go mad if she catches you.” Phyllis smiled warmly. 

“I know.” Patsy sighed, “But I really, really need one. Do be a sport and keep my secret. I already feel guilty.” 

“So you should. You promised Delia on your wedding day-“

“I know. I know. I’m just…” Patsy trailed off taking a drag from her cigarette. 

“What is it lass?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” 

“Patsy.”

Patsy sighed. 

“Give me some credit lass… I’ve been a senior midwife since before you were born… I’ve seen all of this.” She gestured at Patsy, “before.”

“I should have known you’d guess.” The younger woman smiled, stubbing her cigarette out and placing the end in the bin, quickly taking a mint out of her pocket. “Delia and I are trying for a baby… you know, like with a sperm donor not…” Patsy blushed as she rambled and flailed. She smiled as Phyllis placed a hand on her arm. “She takes the test this evening.”

“Oh lass.” 

“And you know what Phyllis? I want it. I really, really well and truly want it. More than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my life… well other than Delia but… I didn’t think I wanted children and now the possibility is there I can’t imagine not having them.” Patsy sighed, “Delia wants it too. She’s the one, as she always is, who opened my eyes to a future.” 

Phyllis gently took Patsy’s hands in her own, “You and Delia will both be wonderful parents. I’m thrilled for you but lass, don’t get so caught up in worrying that you stop living. I know it’s not as simple for you girls - there’s financial implications on top of all the usual emotional and physical ones - but don’t lose hope if it doesn’t work out the first time. It will do. I’m sure of it.” 

“Thank you Phyllis.” 

“Now, go and find your wife and go home. Do the test. You’re of absolute no use to us when you’re like this. Evangelina is about and Doctor Turner is on his way in. We’ll be fine.”

“I…”

“Go.” 

Patsy nodded, squeezing her old mentor’s hands before dashing off. She grabbed her bag, spraying herself with perfume hoping that the smell of smoke would be gone by the time she found Delia. She glanced at the board, noting that Delia was with the Monk family with Val. She set off towards the room, grinning as she noticed Delia and Val just leaving, their faces alight with the joy of a successful birth. 

“Everything gone well?” Patsy asked the pair. 

“Swimmingly.” Val replied, “A baby girl. Eight pounds exactly.” 

“Wonderful.” 

“Where you off to anyway?” Delia asked joyfully.

“Out… to see to a patient… I was hoping I could persuade you to come with me.” 

“Of course.” Delia smiled. “I’ll see you later Val.”

“See you later ladies.” Val waved as she wandered off to clean up. 

“Are we actually seeing a patient?” Delia asked as they walked up the corridor towards the locker room. 

“Maybe.” Patsy responded, entering the room and checking it was empty before continuing, “I can’t wait a second longer Deels. It’s driving me mad.” 

“Patsy, we can’t just leave work because-“

“We can. Besides, I’ve had orders off Phyllis. She knows… as always, Phyllis knows. Besides, aren’t you bursting with nerves? I just… I’m not sure I could concentrate, I need to know Deels.” Patsy murmured, pulling Delia to her, one hand resting on her flat stomach. 

“I’ve been mad with anticipation all day.” Delia admitted, one hand resting on her wife’s hip the other coming to sit on the one on her stomach, “It’s crazy to think that there might be a life starting underneath our hands isn't it?” 

“Completely.” Patsy agreed. “Come on. We’re going home.” 

—

Half an hour later the pair were sat in the bathroom of their flat. The test was sat on the shelf at the other end of the bathroom. Delia was sitting on the toilet lid, with Patsy to her side perched on the bath. Their hands were joined as they waited for the ten minutes to pass. Patsy had made numerous comments on how she could just examine Delia but the shorter woman insisted on them using a test like they were told to at the clinic. 

“That’s it.” Delia whispered, “That’s ten minutes.”

“Right.”

“I’m not sure I can look.”

“Do you want me to?” 

“I… We could look together?”

“Ok.” 

The pair stood and slowly, hands clamped together made their way to the shelf where the test was sat. 

Delia picked it up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for all your lovely comments and kudos. They really do keep me going! 
> 
> Sorry about the cliffhanger you guys... I promise I won't keep you waiting too long! x


	10. Lemony Flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results are in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger guys! It had to be done...

Delia closed her eyes, her chest tight as she turned to look up into Patsy’s eyes. All she saw was love and adoration shining from them. 

And disappointment. 

Delia dropped the test into the bin dejectedly. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted an extra line to appear. She wanted to be pregnant. 

But she wasn’t. 

“I’m so sorry.” She croaked as she turned away from her wife. 

“What? Why?” Patsy frowned. 

“For not being pregnant.” 

“Delia Busby-Mount be quiet this instance.” The taller woman demanded moving over swiftly and taking her wife by the shoulders, she waited, forcing Delia to meet her eyes, “You have nothing to be sorry for alright? These things happen. We’ll just try again. I promise you, we’ll keep going no matter how long it takes.”

“You know we can’t do that.” Delia sniffled, “We don’t have that kind of money.”

“Stuff the money.” 

“Pats.”

“Oh sweetheart.” Patsy whispered, pulling her wife to her chest as the pair shed tears for their lost hope, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“This is just a setback.” Patsy promised, pressing a kiss to the side of Delia’s head. “Tomorrow, I’ll call the clinic and we’ll try again.” 

“Ok.”

“Now, how about we go downstairs, pull out the Ben and Jerry’s and watch something trashy on Netflix?” 

“I just want to go to bed.” Delia sighed, her tone flat. 

“Sweetheart…” Patsy murmured, feeling tension rise in her wife’s body. 

“Don’t.” Delia snapped. At the sharp intake of breath from her wife, Delia sighed, “I’m sorry. I just… I want to go to bed.”

“We can-“

“Alone.” 

Delia walked out. She entered their bedroom quickly, closing the door and leaning her back against it before sliding down onto the floor. She buried her face in her knees, crying for the loss of hope and the way in which she’d just treated Patsy. Patsy, her beautiful, compassionate wife didn’t deserve this. She’d just been trying to help and yet she’d shut her out. Truth be told she had no idea why she’d done it. Being in Patsy’s arms was the only tonic that would ever ease this pain - but she doubted she’d be feeling herself wrapped in those anytime soon. She could hear Patsy making her way down stairs. She heard her sniff and knew that her wife was crying and a fresh burst of tears exploded from the brunette’s eyes. 

Patsy, meanwhile made her way to kitchen. She glanced at the wine rack, picking up a random bottle and setting it on the side. She was rooting for a corkscrew, frustrated that she couldn’t find one when a fresh wave of emotion hit her. She clamped her hands down onto the work surface, head bowed. She wasn’t going to cry - she might want to, Lord, she wanted to scream and shout and fume - but she wasn't going to. She was going to be strong. She wasn't going to turn to drink. Delia, no matter how much she might lash out and hurt her, needed her. But first, she herself needed to calm down. She picked up her phone and dialled the only person she could think of calling. 

“Hello Patsy.” Trixie’s voice floated down the line. 

“Trix.” Patsy rasped. 

“Patsy? What’s wrong?” Trixie’s voice became more urgent, “Sweetie?”

“I don’t know how to help her.” Patsy cried, “The test was negative and she… she’s shutting me out and I don’t know what to do, she’s never shut me out.” 

“Oh sweetie. Are you alright?” Trixie asked, “I know you’re concerned about Delia but what about you? Don’t lose yourself in all of this.” 

“I’m devastated Trix but I want, no I need her.” Patsy said, voice hoarse. 

“Of course you do and she needs you. The thing is sweetie we often hurt those we love the most during the tough times. I hope you don’t mind me saying but you’re pretty good at the whole shutting people out thing yourself.” 

“Because I don’t want people to have to share my troubles. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.” 

“Maybe Delia feels the same way. What do you want more than anything when you’re in that place?”

“Delia.” Patsy answered without hesitation, “I’ll push her away but I want her.” 

“And I bet all my lipsticks and eyeliners that she wants you more than anything right now.” Trixie responded.

“She said she wanted to go to bed alone.” Patsy sighed, “I don't want to crowd her but I don’t want her to go through this alone when she doesn’t have to.” 

“Have you got any cigarettes?” 

“No.”

“Have you got a bottle of wine?” 

“Yes but I don’t want it. I don’t want to get drunk.”

“Have you got some Flash?” 

“Of course I have.” 

“Which one?” 

“What?”

“Which Flash?”

“The Lemony one.” 

“Excellent. Clean the kitchen, calm down, take your own frustrations out by turning the lemons into lemony, shiny work surfaces and then go up and see to your wife.” 

“Your advice is to clean?” 

“Yes. You forget I lived with you for three years. I know exactly how you work Dr Busby-Mount.” 

“I don’t think I could ever forget those three years. Thanks Trix… I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow Patsy. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine, you both will.” 

Patsy sighed and ended the call. She glanced at the wine on the side before putting it away and following her best friend’s advice and removing the Flash from underneath the sink. As she began to scrub at the already clean surfaces, she allowed her tears to mingle with the bleach as she tried to wipe all her worries away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs and hides and talks through a megaphone*
> 
> I know... I know... I'm awful... but life is never easy is it? 
> 
> Thank you to all of you for reading, and especially to those of you who leave kudos and comment. It means the world. I'll update again soon! :)


	11. An Angel of Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Thank you so much to everyone for your lovely comments! Glad you're enjoying the angst.
> 
> This chapter may feel a little bit like a filler and if it does I apologise. Anyway, I'll shut up and let you decide for yourselves!

Cleaning the kitchen took Patsy two hours but Trixie had been right, it had calmed her down and allowed her to work out her frustrations. Now, though, came the hard part - getting through to Delia. Delia had always been the most open of the two of them. If there was a problem, Delia would talk about it and decide on the best course of action. This closing up was not like the Welsh woman and Patsy felt completely unprepared for this side of Delia. In all her years of knowing her love, she’d never, ever been the one to shut down. 

Slowly, Patsy opened the door to their room. She entered slowly, heart breaking as she saw Delia curled up in the foetal position on their bed, a tissue in her hand. She was staring blankly at a point on the wall, not moving when Patsy entered. The red head padded over to the bed quietly and carefully, settling down onto it and ever so gently wrapping her arms around Delia. She heard her wife sniff, silent tears beginning to fall and Patsy pulled her to her tighter, pressing kisses to the back of her head. 

“Shush, darling.” Patsy soothed, “I’ve got you… I’ve got you.” 

At that Delia began to sob, her hands clutching to Patsy’s. They remained in that position, Patsy pressing an untold number of kisses into dark locks she loved so much until Delia finally calmed down enough to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Cariad.” Delia croaked, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Nevermind.” Patsy murmured, “It doesn’t matter.”

“I was awful to you.”

“I’ve been worse.” 

Delia remained silent and Patsy continued to hold her close, hands on Delia’s stomach. The silence stretched on so long that Patsy wondered if her wife had fallen asleep but then Delia spoke and Patsy’s heart broke further.

“I feel so empty Pats.” 

“I know.” Patsy murmured back, “But you’re not. You’re full of love, compassion, kindness and hope. We’ll try again darling, I promise you we will try again.” 

“I’m scared.”

“I know but there’s no need to be. We’ll be alright.” 

Delia nodded, before turning slightly, “You smell like lemons… and cleaning.”

“I might have bottomed the kitchen.” Patsy admitted. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how all this would affect you, I was so wrapped up in my own-“

“Don’t apologise, darling, we’ve both done enough of that. Go to sleep, I’ll be holding you all night.” 

“I don’t deserve you, Patience Elizabeth Busby-Mount, you’re an angel.” 

“And you’re my world. Now, go to sleep. We both have to work tomorrow.”

Delia nodded and closed her eyes, warm and safe in Patsy’s arms. 

——

Morning had rolled around far too quickly. The heartache of the night before was still lingering but was overshadowed by the chaos of their morning routine and subsequently the hospital. Upon arrival, Patsy had been whisked away to assist Dr Turner with a surgery and it had been long past lunch time before she emerged. Trixie, having just finished delivering a baby, was also on a late lunch and sat beside her best friend as the pair took advantage of the rare sunshine and sat outside to eat. 

“How are things?” Trixie asked gently as she plucked a grape from the punnet. 

“I don’t know how to answer that Trix.” Patsy admitted with a sigh, taking a bite from her apple and chewing thoughtfully, “I think I was rather naive in thinking that it would work first time. The fact it didn’t hurts and then there’s Delia.”

“Did you not sort things?” 

“Yes, we sorted things or I think we have, but her reaction was just so off the radar - so unlike her. I’m worried about her.” 

“Of course you are sweetie, she’s your wife and you’re trying for a baby. It’s natural to worry. I know you think her reaction was off but a baby is…”

“Huge.” Patsy finished. 

“I was going to say precious.” Trixie smiled, “And a baby so wanted…” 

“I don’t know how to help her.” Patsy glanced over to where a woman was playing with her son, “I’m so afraid of saying the wrong things or being too brusque. I want to support her.” 

“Be her wife. Be the woman she loves. You don’t have to do anything other than that.” The blonde haired midwife promised, “This is new for both of you and this was your first attempt. It’ll get better.” 

“I know.” Patsy smiled, “Thank you - and sorry for calling you in a state last night.”

“Patsy, I want you to always call me whenever you’re in a state. I’m here for you - both of you.” 

The pair smiled at one another. Patsy, forever grateful for her best friend, and wondering just how she got to be so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter should be up fairly soon - there's still plenty of twists and turns to come - is Patsy right to be worried? Probably...


	12. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months later... how are things between Patsy and Delia ft. Shelagh being an absolute babe.

Months passed by at lightning speed, May merged into June into July and with each month, a fresh disappointment had been felt by the Busby-Mounts. A total of four failed attempts had left them both devastated - both emotionally and financially and the strain was beginning to show. 

Delia had changed. Her once sunny disposition had given way to one much more sombre and withdrawn. The zest for life, so utterly infectious, seemed to have disappeared. She was barely eating, her gym routine had almost completely fizzled out and she refused to go out. Patsy had tried everything to rouse Delia from her mood - offers of dinner, dancing, drinks - all met with the same tetchy response. 

“We can’t afford it. After all, my inability to conceive is slowly draining of us of our savings… and drinking isn’t going to help is it?” 

Patsy had eventually given up asking. One night she’d tried to be bold, bring home a Chinese but Delia hadn’t touched it. She’d snapped at Patsy once again about the financial implications before storming off leaving the taller woman standing in the kitchen. Patsy had been a lethal concoction of heartbroken and angry and had stormed out after a few harsh, choice words and took the meal over to Trixie’s who had held the red-head as she cried. Trixie had spent a lot of time doing that recently and Patsy cursed that she wasn’t on the ward to do it today after a gigantic row this morning. 

Patsy felt as though her marriage was slowly slipping away, that her wife was turning her back on her and that ever since they’d decided to try for a baby everything seemed to have gone wrong. Delia was struggling with the process, she understood that, but she seemed so self-obsessed - a trait Patsy never would have suspected Delia capable of before now. She sat quietly on a bench in the Peace Garden on her break at work, thinking back to this morning. 

_“Delia, I want to talk to you.”_

_“About?”_

_“Us, the baby, everything.”_

_“We don’t have time for everything - you need to leave for work in less than an hour.”_

_“Stop being smart.”_

_“It’s the truth.”_

_“Delia, I’m worried about you, about us. I’m worried about the state of our marriage. It feels like all we do these days is argue and if we aren’t doing that we’re sat in silence. It feels like we’re ghosts, ships in the night, passing quietly. It doesn’t feel like I’m married anymore.”_

_“It doesn’t feel like we’re married? So what, you want a divorce? Typical Patience Mount. The going gets tough, the Patsy gets going.”_

_“That’s not fair.” Patsy gasped, “The last thing I want on this Earth is a divorce but I do want my wife back.”_

_“I’ve not gone anywhere. I’m right here.”_

_“You’re not though are you Delia? Look at you! Not going to the gym, barley eating a thing, not wanting to go out. Look, I’m just concerned alright?!”_

_“Concerned? Or put out that I’m not bending to your every whim?”_

_“What?”_

_“You don’t like it because we’re not doing what you want to do all the time. Because my opinion has changed.”_

_“That’s absurd.”_

_“Is it?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I’m trying to ready my body for a baby, trying to make sure I conceive this time because I know we can’t afford many more rounds of this treatment and you’re upset because we aren’t going out?” Delia growled._

_“No, I’m upset because you’re not yourself! I know you Delia, I know you better than you know yourself and I’ve loved you long enough to know that you’re not okay. I want you to talk to me because how can we bring a child into this world, into our world, if we can’t even get on?”_

_“So you’re saying you don’t want a baby now?”_

_“No! I’m saying we need to sort whatever is going on between us out because we are not okay Delia. You’re pushing me away.”_

_“So it’s all my fault is it?”_

_“Delia! For Christs Sake just listen to yourself!”_

_“If you don’t want a baby just say Patsy, then we can all move on.”_

_“What?”_

_“Go to work Pats.”_

_“No. I want to sort this.”_

_“Maybe I don’t.”_

_Patsy had paused._

_“You know what, suit yourself but if you think I’m going to bring a child into this environment then you’ve got another thing coming. I won’t do it Delia, I just won’t.”_

_And with that she had left._

“Penny for them?”

Patsy looked up and noticed Shelagh smiling kindly back at her. She tried her best to smile back but ended up providing what seemed more like a grimace. 

“I’m not sure they’re worth that.” Patsy chuckled darkly. 

“I’m sure they are.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Shelagh? What is it like? Having children?” 

“Incredible. You don’t know what love, real, unconditional love is until you have babies.” Shelagh replied without hesitation, “Why?” 

“I’m just thinking.” Patsy sighed, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course.” 

“Did you and Patrick ever… that is… did the subject of children ever cause you problems? You know in your relationship?”

“Yes.” Shelagh sighed, “When we adopted Angela. Patrick had kept some of his military history from me - it caused us problems and for a long time I didn’t know how to help him. I was so caught up in my anger…”

“What about before Teddy? When you thought you couldn’t-?

“I think I pushed him away a little - forgive me for asking, are you and Delia trying?” 

“Yes, we’ve been keeping it under our hats but we’ve tried four times Shelagh, and four times it’s not worked. It’s not cheap and Delia… she’s pushing me away… I just want to help and gosh, sorry.” Patsy sniffed as emotion crept upon her. 

“Don’t apologise.”

“I don’t know how to help her.” Patsy admitted. “I’ve tried everything I can think of.”

“Maybe it’s not you who can help her?”

“Sorry?”

“I know this is a sensitive area for you so forgive me but… when I was pregnant the one person I wanted was my Mother.” Shelagh said quietly, taking Patsy’s hand in hers. The pair had both lost their mothers at a young age and had often found comfort in their shared misery. 

“I’ve wanted my Mother more now than I have in my entire adult life.” Patsy croaked. “I think that’s why I came to you… you’re a Mother, you understand.” 

“Maybe… maybe Delia needs her Mother?” 

Patsy nodded, squeezing Shelagh’s hand. The older woman was right, maybe Mrs Busby was exactly who Delia needed to speak to. The problem was she had absolutely no idea whether Delia had actually spoken to her Mother recently. The pair had a strange relationship full of fractures that although smoothed over and filled in, had left life-long weaknesses. 

“I think you might be right. Thank you Shelagh. I should get back.”

“Anytime. I hope you get it sorted.”

Patsy smiled and walked away, headed to her office. She had a phone call to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos and leaving comments! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	13. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy rings Mrs Busby...

“Patsy?” 

God, she felt sick. There was something about the way Enid Busby spoke that filled the flame haired Doctor full of fear and dread. She forced a joviality to her tone and smiled.

“Hello Mrs Busby, how are you?”

“It’s Enid and I’m fine but why are you ringing me? It’s not Delia is it? It’s not her head again?” 

“No, no it’s nothing like that. Don’t panic.” Patsy responded quickly putting her Mother In Law at ease again. 

When they’d first gotten together, Delia had been involved in a car crash and had had temporary amnesia. At the time Delia hadn’t told her Mother about the relationship and so Patsy had been kept completely in the dark until her girlfriend regained her memory - six months later in Wales. It had been the worst six months of Patsy’s life. 

“Then what is it cariad? You can’t be planning her Birthday surprise already?”

“No!” Patsy laughed, “No, I actually…” She paused, “Have you spoken to Delia recently?”

“Not since your anniversary cariad, but for the odd text, I was going to call tonight.”

“So you don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?”

“About… our plans? For the future…”

“You’re not moving away are you?”

“No! No, it’s just… we’re thinking about our future plus… one.” Patsy stammered. 

There was a long drawn out silence. 

“You mean you’re trying to have a child?” 

“Yes. We’ve been going through fertility treatment. I’m sorry, Delia should be sharing this news with you. It was foolish of me to call without asking her first but-“ Patsy trailed off.

“But what? Something tells me you weren’t calling me to talk baby names?” 

“No. I wondered if you’d come and see Delia? Spend a couple of days with us?” Patsy took a breath, “The treatment has failed, four times and she’s… she’s just not herself. I’ve tried Enid, really I have but she’s struggling and she won’t let me in. Please… I think she needs you.”

Patsy closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, she couldn’t believe she was asking Mrs Busby to come and stay with them. She couldn’t believe how desperate she sounded. She couldn’t believe that she was doing all of this behind Delia’s back.

“The thing is Enid. I’ve never carried a child. I’ve never thought I might be pregnant and so, although I can understand the loss of hope and disappointment and share in that, I can not share in this emptiness she describes. Almost as though it’s a physical thing. Right now, the only person I want is my Mother and she’s not here… you are so please… please come.”

“Oh Cariad.” Enid Busby’s voice had softened. “Of course I’ll come.”

“Thank you.”

“Tomorrow. I’ll be there.”

“I’m at work but Delia is off.” Patsy responded. 

“I’ll see you when you get home then Patsy.” 

“Yes. Thank you Enid, thank you.” 

Patsy placed her phone back down and closed her eyes hoping that she’d made the right decision. 

——

If Patsy had any doubt about her decision it was soon disappeared that evening. After arriving home to Delia eating her dinner (made just for her) and barely speaking two words to her, Patsy had settled down in the living room. She’d opted for the chair, leaving the sofa to Delia who had evidently been watching something on Netflix. She was reading a book when Delia returned and began to flick through the iPad. 

“Oh, look Pats, an email off Lucy at the clinic.” Delia said. 

“What does it say?” Patsy asked looking up from her book. 

“Asking us to arrange an appointment if we’re going forward… what do you think Pats?”

“Well ye-“

“How about I say no, you’re alright. We’re not bothering any more - our relationship is too toxic…” Delia cut her off.

Patsy felt a red hot burning behind her eyes, tears welling she slammed her book down and left the room. She couldn’t handle this. Mrs Busby couldn’t arrive soon enough. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again, as always, to everyone who reads, leaves kudos and leave comments. It's truly so encouraging! 
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoying the angst...
> 
> Oh, and I totes can't wait for Mrs Busby to arrive!


	14. Mother Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MRS BUSBY IS HEREEEEEEEEE!

Delia sighed heavily as she sat staring at the television. It was turned on, _This Morning_ was blaring out of it, but she wasn’t taken much notice. She was trying to work out how she felt but the only phrase she could come up with? Fed up. She felt so hopeless, so lonely, so vacant. Her emotions were off kilter and that was before she started thinking about the way she was treating Patsy. The poor woman couldn’t seem to do right for doing wrong and Delia was sick of seeing her wife leave the room holding back tears. The problem was she didn't know how to stop. Patsy didn’t understand, how could she when Delia herself didn’t fully understand? 

Delia’s musings were broken by the doorbell ringing. She groaned, wondering who on Earth it could be? The postman had been, unless Patsy had ordered something and it was coming by courier but she hadn’t mentioned anything. Then again, when would she have had chance, Delia thought sadly - she’d been out the door and to work long before the Welsh woman had even stirred. 

She was surprised therefore to see her Mother standing on the doorstop. 

“Mam?” 

“Hello Cariad.” Enid Busby replied with a warm smile. 

“What are you doing here?”

“That’s no way to greet your Mam!” Enid chastised as she pushed by Delia. Delia still shocked, closed the door before turning. As she did, Enid pulled her daughter into a hug, “I’ve come to see you.” 

“This is a surprise.” Delia smiled, holding on to her Mum for a fraction longer than she usually would. As loath as she was to admit it, she was actually truly pleased to see her Mother. 

“A pleasant one, I hope.” The older woman smiled, “Now, I’ve had a long journey, how about some tea?”

“Of course.” Delia smiled. “I’ll fetch it through.”

Delia watched as her Mam totted off to the living room before moving to the kitchen to prepare tea. She cursed Patsy for putting their ‘good china’ so far out of reach and instead began rummaging for the nicest pot they had that wasn’t impossibly high up. Enid Busby had exacting standards and Delia always felt the need to impress her.

“Oh Cariad, when will you two get a flat with a proper wall? Really, these bricks must be so cold in winter!” 

Delia smirked in spite of herself. Their flat had an industrial, stripped down vibe to it. Modern throughout but with one feature brick wall in the front room. Delia had loved it and Patsy had been won over by the huge windows that stretched across the other wall entirely, showering the room with natural light. Her Mother, naturally hated it. 

After making tea, Delia had joined her Mother in the living room and the pair had conversed politely over tea. It was as they were finishing that Enid Busby purposely placed her cup down on the table and looked over to her daughter. 

“I had an interesting conversation with your Patsy yesterday.” Enid began. 

Delia groaned. It was too good to be true wasn’t it? Her Mam just turning up out of the blue to see her? She felt anger swell as she realised that Patsy had gone running to her Mam. She wasn’t a school girl anymore, she didn’t need a report sending to her Mam at regular intervals and a good ticking off when she wasn’t being a good girl. 

“Did you?” Delia said tightly. 

“Yes, she told me all about your plans. She also told me about the treatment Cariad, and the fact it’s not been going well.” Enid’s voice was soft. 

“She had no right going behind my back and calling you.” Delia snapped angrily. 

“She said the exact same words.” 

“Didn’t stop her though did it? So come on, what’s she told you?” 

“The truth by the looks of things.” Mrs Busby said sternly. 

“This is typical Patsy, the minute things don’t go her way she throws her toys out the pram. Well you needn’t have bothered coming all this way Mam. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Enid cut her off. “You’re not fine at all.”

“I am! What will it take for you and my stupid bloody Wife to believe me?” 

“For you to stop trying to push everyone away. Patsy is worried sick about you!” Mrs Busby responded. “Look, Delia- what are you doing?“ She frowned as she saw Delia put her phone to her ear.

“Ringing Patsy and telling her exactly what I think of her.”

“Put it down.” Mrs Busby said calmly, sighing as Delia after getting through to answerphone began to type furiously. “Delia.” Delia continued to type. “Delia!” 

“What?”

“Stop this. It isn’t you, cariad.” Mrs Busby paused for a split second before shaking her head, “What am I to do with you?” She exhaled, “You-“ 

Before the older woman could say another word, Delia spun around, snapping before she’d even had chance to think about what she was going to say. The anger flowed through her body like lava exploding out of a volcano. It was blinding in intensity. 

“Just go Mam. I should have known you weren’t here to see me. I’m a continuous disappointment aren’t I?” Delia spat bitterly, “Moving to London, sacking off the family business, being a lesbian.” She laughed sadly, “Getting married to an ‘up-herself consultant’ your words Mam and then being a disappointment to her… and you… just when you thought I might redeem myself by giving you a grandchild, it turns out I can’t even do that. Maybe you were right Mam, maybe the Lord is punishing me.” 

Mrs Busby took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. She knew instantly that Patsy had been right to call for her. She took every blow, every punch to the gut, every sickening truth on the chin. She hadn’t been the best Mother to Delia, she admitted that. She’d struggled with her decision to move away, she’d struggled even more with her sexuality and she hadn’t liked Patsy when she first met her. She’d banged on about never having grandchildren. But she’d changed. She’d made sure to understand her daughter and she loved her. Slowly, she moved to Delia. 

“I’m not going anywhere Cariad.” Mrs Busby warned her.

“Just leave me be. I don’t want you here. I want to be alone.” 

“Do you? Do you really?” 

Delia was silent. 

“No. I didn’t think so.” Mrs Busby took a breath. “Patsy-“

“Can get to fuck. She had no fucking right calling you behind my back and dragging you here to reprimand me like some naughty school girl because I’m not being the perfect wife and-“

“Delia! Don’t swear.” Enid reprimanded, annoyed further as Delia shrugged. “Patsy is worried about you. That girl loves the bloody bones off of you and the way you’re treating her is nothing short of disgusting. Patsy did call me and you know what? I don’t imagine that sat easy with her. Patsy calling me to come and help you because she’s at her wits bloody end? She’s concerned Cariad, because she loves you, she doesn’t want to lose you and she has no idea how to help you.” 

Delia sat quietly, a tear slid down her face as she listened to her Mother.

“Now, I’m not going anywhere until we get to the bottom of all of this and sort out a plan. Talk to me Cariad, what’s going on?” 

Delia was silent for a moment before a huge, ugly sob racked her body, then another and another. Mrs Busby walked forward the final few steps and enveloped her daughter in her arms letting her cry and cry and cry. She shushed her, murmured into her hair, kissing it periodically. Comforting Delia in a way she hadn’t since she was a child until Delia pushed back slightly and sat on the sofa, Enid following her. 

“I’ve been rotten Mam.” Delia sniffed, “To Patsy. She’s been so supportive and I’ve just pushed her away. I don't mean to do it. I just… the words come out and… Mam, she can’t understand. She says she does but it’s not her who bleeds Mam, it’s not her who has to pee on that stick and watch it, it’s not her who feels so empty and like such a failure. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything and I know Patsy does too. I just feel like I’m letting her down and I can’t bear to watch that disappointment stretch across her face.” 

“So you’re pushing her away instead? Making her feel miserable and alone? Is it easier to watch her in tears?” 

“I… Mam, I don’t mean to.” Delia cried, “But if this doesn’t work, this last one, we can’t afford another round and-“

“If I had the money…”

“No, we’re not asking for your money!” Delia refuted, “But this will be the fifth round and I won’t let Patsy keep spending the money she got from that trust.” 

“So what if you don’t conceive this time? That’s it. You give up. I didn’t raise you and your Father didn’t raise you to be a quitter.” 

“We can’t afford it Mam!” 

“No but you’ve already quit. Listen to yourself. You need to start thinking positive. I know that’s easier said than done but-“

“Don’t start telling me to have a positive mental attitude.”

“Look, I’ve been where you are Cariad and it’s awful, hoping and waiting and praying for the miracle of life to happen but it doesn’t come if you’re constantly on edge and anxious. You need to trust in the Powers that be and more than anything you need to let your wife support you and in turn support her.” Mrs Busby paused, “You two have been through too much and fought too hard to get to where you are. Please don’t throw your happiness away because things aren’t going your way. You’re lucky, Delia, not everyone finds love.”

“I know.” Delia covered her face with her hands. 

“Now, we’re going to keep talking and keep making plans until you’ve got it all off of your chest alright?” Enid told her. 

“I need to find a way to make this up to Patsy.” Delia sighed.

“I think you being yourself would be present enough.” Enid responded. “Never underestimate her love for you Cariad. She loves you more than life itself. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.” 

“She’s an angel Mam, a total angel.” Delia smiled, “After everything she’s been through… God… Mam, how could I treat her like that?”

“Because you love her and love makes us lash out at those we love the most.” Enid smiled.

Delia nodded, a small smile playing at her lips. As annoyed as she’d been with Patsy for inviting her Mam over unannounced, she couldn’t be more grateful. She felt like the weight on her chest was lifting and as she continued to talk through her feelings with her Mam, she began to feel more and more herself. 

—

Patsy grimaced as she stretched upwards, her neck cracking, as she took a moment’s refuge in her office. She’d been in surgery all morning and she was exhausted. She glanced at the clock and groaned - the fact her shift didn’t end for another six hours not helping the fact she was already on edge. She wondered if Mrs Busby had arrived safe. She reached over to her bag and withdrew her mobile to three missed calls off Delia and three text messages.

_‘Answer your phone you coward.’_

_‘You know what, fine, don’t answer you phone.’_

_‘You’re a fucking coward Patsy. I mean, who do you think you are? Seriously, ringing my Mam to come and sort me out? I’m a grown woman Patsy, you can’t just call my Mam. You’re my wife not my fucking school teacher. Seriously, you just can’t handle not being in control can you? I fucking hate you right now and-‘_

The text ended abruptly. Patsy frowned, unsure of what to do. She decided to reply. She’d had more than enough of Delia and her mood. She’d been kind, she’d been forgiving, she’d fallen soft too many times. Now, she was going to give it back. 

_‘Delia, contrary to your popular belief that consultants just swan around the ward all day playing on their phones, I’ve actually been saving lives all morning and that is why I didn’t answer your call although by the looks of things it’s probably a good job. Might I suggest if you don’t want to be treated like a child you stop acting like one. Must go, I’ve got lives to save. See you tonight. Do not text me back. I don’t have time to play your games.’_

Patsy hit send just as Chummy came running in, calling her to surgery once more. Patsy nodded and blanked Delia from her mind. After all, what was the point in trying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos and especially to those of you who comment! I've had the craziest week so now I'm off to catch up on reading all the wonderful updates on here!


	15. A Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy returns home from a hard shift and Delia has her work cut out.

Patsy’s shift had felt never-ending. She’d had to attend surgery after surgery. Complicated case after complicated case. By some miracle she’d managed to save every one of her patients and their babies but one baby was in intensive care and she knew that everything was riding on whether he made it through tonight. 

The only upside was that all the running around had meant she’d had little time to think about the arrival of Mrs Busby and how her visiting might affect Delia. Since the initial text messages, Patsy hadn’t heard a word from Delia. She wasn’t sure what to make of that. It could go one of two ways - marvellously or like a train wreck. Patsy wasn’t going to hedge her bets. 

She opened the door to the flat and was greeted by a darkness, the only light coming from the window. She crept slowly towards the living room and smiled from the doorway as she noticed Delia and her Mother watching a film, sat close, Enid’s arm around her daughter’s shoulders. 

“Hello.” She whispered nervously. Just because Delia was evidently enjoying her Mam’s company didn’t mean she was off the hook. 

“Hello Patsy.” Mrs Busby smiled, standing and kissing her daughter-in-law on the cheek before sitting back down. 

“Hello Mrs- Enid.” She corrected herself. “How was your journey?” 

“Perfeclty-“

“Sssh! Mam, it’s nearly finished!” Delia whined, eyes glued to the screen.

Patsy shifted and rolled her eyes. Delia was a lot better than when she’d left her this morning and the whining over the television and interrupted film seemed much more in character but she hadn’t looked at Patsy. She’d not even said hello. And then there were the texts from earlier on. Patsy found herself torn between sitting down and watching the end of the film too or sorting herself out with some food, taking a shower and getting ready for bed. She decided upon the latter - the thought of the texts souring any softening she had initially felt towards her wife. 

Patsy was still in the shower as the film ended. Enid watched as Delia turned it off before squeezing her daughter’s shoulder.

“Go and wait for her.”

“It’s your first night Mam.”

“And I’m exhausted. We’ve had a good day you and I… sorting through things… but now you need to sort things out with Patsy.” 

“I’ll sort you out in the guest bedroom first.” Delia smiled. 

“Avoiding the situation won’t help Delia.” Enid told her firmly. 

“I shouldn’t have text her those things…” Delia whispered, “She’s had enough, I can tell and…” She paused, “I don’t think she's going to be all that forgiving.”

“You have to take responsibly for your own actions Cariad.” Mrs Busby said softly, “But a sincere apology will go a long way.” 

Delia nodded and smiled before gesturing for her mother to follow her to the spare room. As Delia sorted her Mother’s sleeping arrangements out, Patsy had gotten out of the shower and dressed swiftly for bed. She rolled her tight shoulders and groaned as the pain stretched down to her lower back. The hard day had taken it’s toll, alongside the stress and she knew that if she didn’t go to bed and rest now, she’d been in absolutely agony within no time. She could hear Mrs Busby fussing over bed linen in the guest bedroom and so she assumed it would be safe to lay her head down and try and sleep off her horrendous shift. 

She was just about dozing off when she heard the door open then close and a the bed dip as her Wife climbed into it. She smiled as she felt Delia’s arms wrap around her waist before stiffening remembering she was meant to be angry at her.

“I’m sorry.” Delia whispered pressing a kiss in-between the red-heads shoulder blades. “I’ve been awful to you.”

“I think that’s the understatement of the year.” Patsy grumbled. “Look I’m not in the mood Delia.” 

“Patsy…”

“I can’t take it, not today.” Patsy replied, “Just go to sleep.” 

“Sweetheart-“

“Don’t.”

“Patsy. Please let me apologise. I’m sorry, really I am. I’ve been a shit alright? I know that and I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Patsy murmured eventually. She kept her back to Delia, not wanting her to see her face. She knew that Delia would see right through it and no matter how hard things had been lately, she’d instantly shower her in love. Patsy, being the coward she was, didn’t want to open up about her feelings. Not tonight. She sighed. “Really, it’s alright.” She said sincerely, choosing to forgive Delia. Fighting was exhausting and she was already beyond that. 

“It’s not.” Delia insisted, “And… I understand, why you called my Mam. I can feel the tension coming off you in spades and it’s fine alright. I was angry at first but we’ve been talking things through and-“ She paused noticing the tension hadn’t left Patsy’s body. “Pats? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just tired.” Patsy sighed finally turning her head as she realised Delia wanted to sort this tonight. “I’m sorry I spilled the beans to your Mother but darling, please don’t apologise to me. I know it’s harder for you than me and that’s why I called her. I thought you needed someone who could understand - properly.” She rolled over slightly but winced and shot back. 

“Pats?” Delia frowned, “You’ve had a bad day haven’t you?”

“Horrendous.” Patsy finally admitted on a whisper. 

“Your scars are hurting aren’t they?” Delia murmured softly.

“Yes.” Patsy croaked. 

Delia reached over to her beside cabinet and withdrew some oil from one of the drawers. She kept it there for moments exactly like this. She knew that Patsy still suffered from her injuries and that her scars often began to hurt when she was stressed or in extreme weather. Placing some oil on her hands she began to work her way up her wife’s lower back, shifting her t-shirt up. 

“I know we’ve more to talk about Pats.” Delia murmured, “But I want you to know that, I love you. I love you more than anything. You’re the most important person in my life and I never want to lose you. I’m sorry for all the stupid things I’ve said and I’d love nothing more if we could call the clinic tomorrow.”

“I love you too. I’ll call the clinic first thing but… ahh.” Patsy hissed as Delia’s hand hit a particular sore scar. The biggest, most jagged one. 

“Sorry Cariad.” 

“No more apologies.” 

“No.” Delia smiled, pressing a kiss to the angry mark on Patsy’s back, “No more apologies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, they've made up, plain sailing from here on in, right? 
> 
> Well... we'll see... ;)
> 
> Thank you so much to all of you lovely people who comment and leave kudos. I'm so touched by all your kind words!


	16. Nightmares, of life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Mrs Busby have a little morning chat and Delia and Patsy finally put their argument to bed.

Patsy wandered into the kitchen bleary eyed, still in the t-shirt and joggers she’d worn to bed. She startled as she noticed Mrs Busby sat sipping a cup of tea listening to the radio. She’d almost forgotten that her Mother-In-Law had come to stay. She blamed the fact it was six in the morning and she’d barely slept a week. She’d kept waking up, dreaming that the baby had died, and then in the final dream, the baby had died and then Delia had, everyone around her had died. It was a dream she’d had before, but not for a long time. 

“Morning Cariad.” Mrs Busby greeted her. 

“Morning.” Patsy smiled. 

“Sit down, I’ll make you some tea.”

“No, you’re a guest.” Patsy refuted as she walked towards the coffee machine. She swiftly made a drink before sitting opposite the older woman. 

“You look tired.” Mrs Busby commented. 

“Long shift is all.” Patsy responded lightly. She knew that it wouldn’t fool Mrs Busby.

“Look, Patsy.” Enid took a deep breath, “I know you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye and I’ve not treated you at all well in the past, but I’m here for you. Your my daughter’s wife and she loves you, you’re a part of this family. I’m as worried about you as I am about Delia.” 

Patsy was lost for words. She nodded, too choked to speak. Enid placed her hand over Patsy’s. 

“I’m glad you rang me Cariad, you were right to do so.” 

“I didn’t know what else to do.” Patsy admitted quietly, “I just want her to be alright.” 

“And she will be, love.” Enid promised. “It isn’t easy but it will be worth it. I promise you that.” 

Patsy nodded gratefully before turning as she heard their bedroom door open. She smiled as Delia made her way over, a hand running over Patsy’s shoulder as she sat beside her wife taking a sip of her coffee before wrinkling her nose in disgust. 

“It’s good manners to say good morning before stealing one’s coffee.” Patsy reprimanded lightly. 

“More like mud.” Delia mumbled. Patsy and Enid shared a knowing look - Delia being cheeky was a good sign. “Morning Mam.”

“Morning Cariad.” Enid replied. “How are you feeling?”

As Delia began to talk, Patsy’s phone began to ring. Delia glanced nervously at her wife, not missed by Mrs Busby who frowned as the taller woman excused herself, taking the call in the bedroom. Delia’s eyes kept flitting to the door, a worried expression upon her face.

“Delia?”

“She had a tough day yesterday Mam.” Delia admitted, “She barely slept a wink all night. One of the babies is in a bad way - everything was riding on it making it through the night. I know she comes across as hard faced and tough but underneath all that bravado she feels everything so deeply…” 

“She ought to be leaving work at work and not bringing it home.”

“She cares too much to do that.” Delia responded, “It’s her achilles heel.” 

Both quietened as Patsy walked back in, running a hand through her hair. Delia looked at her questioningly. 

“It was Shelagh.” Patsy swallowed, “He made it.” 

“See, I told you he would.” Delia smiled, “And it’s thanks to you.” 

Patsy nodded, sitting back down. She wrapped her hands around her mug, staring at them, evidently lost in thought. Mrs Busby shared a worried glance with Delia before clearing her throat. 

“So, what do you two have planned for an old woman like me?” 

“I haven’t planned anything.” Delia chuckled, “On account of your visit being a surprise but we could try the afternoon tea at the Barbican Conservatory? What do you think Pats?” Delia probed noticing Patsy was still staring at the contents of her mug. “Pats?” 

“What? Sorry… yes, afternoon tea at the Barbican sounds lovely.” Patsy smiled tightly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and get ready.” 

Delia and her Mother watched as the redhead walked away. Delia sighed, shaking her head sadly. She looked up to see her Mother staring steadfastly at her. 

“What?”

“You two are as bad as one another.” Enid said shaking her head. “I’ve never known two people worry about each other as much as you two do.” 

“Sorry we care for one another Mam.” Delia replied sarcastically before checking herself at Enid Busby’s sharp look. “I know she’s been worrying about me and she probably still is. I’ve been a bit self-obsessed lately and I’ve not been fair on her. I just… She had a hard day yesterday, that much is obvious, but I wonder if it would have been easier if she hadn’t had me being an absolute nightmare at home?”

“I wouldn't have picked midwifery as a career for you Delia, you know that and I can’t understand why you’d want to do such a personal sort of job, but you do, you both do and you both evidently enjoy it. It’s a hard job you do, cariad, regardless of whatever else is going on. You can’t change the past, so I advise you stop dwelling on it and start focussing on your future. You need to support one another, be there for one another, listen to one another. You’re going to be parents before long and let me tell you right now, communication is everything.” 

Delia nodded. 

“Now, I’m going to follow your wife’s lead and go and get myself ready for a lovely day out. This conservatory better have nice tea, Delia. Not like that last place we went to.” 

“Julienne at the hospital likes it. She says the flowers are stunning.” Delia responded as she stood up.

“I better take an antihistamine then.” 

Delia rolled her eyes. As much as she loved her Mam and was grateful for her intervention this weekend, something told her this was going to be a long day.

—

Patsy was lost in thought as she stood in the shower, allowing the water cascade over her. It had been so long since her scars had hurt, so long since she’d had that dream and so long since a case on the ward had affected her so deeply. The prospect of spending the day with Mrs Busby, no matter how grateful she was that she was here, was not an appealing one especially given she’d probably spend most the day complaining about the horrors of London. What she’d rather do was go to work, continue to work with Mother and Baby, ensure they were ok. 

So far away in her mind, Patsy didn’t hear the door to the ensuite open. She didn’t hear as Delia undressed, only noticing her wife when she felt a pair of cool arms slip around her waist, a bare chest so familiar against her back. She smiled as she felt Delia press a kiss to her back before turning, pulling her into her arms. She buried her face in the crook of Delia’s neck, so grateful to have her wife with her, safe and well. 

“Pats.” Delia whispered, “I’m sorry for how I’ve been and-“

“I meant what I said last night Deels, no more apologies.” Patsy cut her off, her hands on Delia’s hips as she looked directly in her eyes. “Please. Just… let us move on? If you’re looking for my forgiveness you don’t need it… there’s nothing to forgive. I understand. It’s difficult, more so for you than me. ” 

“Alright.” Delia agreed, “But that doesn’t get you off the hook, what’s wrong?”

Patsy exhaled heavily, before flopping her head forward onto Delia’s shoulder. She could feel Delia’s fingers rubbing soothing circles across her shoulders and she allowed herself just a moment to relax. 

“I had the dream… or nightmare should I say.” 

“Oh, sweetheart.” 

“You died. The baby died. Everyone died.” Patsy cried, “The same way. I can’t bare it Deels. I can’t bare the thought of losing you, seeing it so vividly and then…” She cut off. “And then work. I’m a Doctor, these things shouldn’t affect me like this.”

“You’re a human being Pats.” Delia refuted, “You’re allowed to feel.”

“All I could think about was, what if I was in their position? What if it was our baby? What if it was you?” 

“Patsy, nothing is going to to happen to me. I promise.” 

“That’s a promise you can’t necessarily keep.” 

“Oh yeh? Watch me.” 

“Sorry.” Patsy pushed herself up to standing again, her arms looped loosely around Delia’s waist, “I don’t suppose this is what you had in mind when you joined me in the shower?”

“I didn’t have anything in mind.” Delia shrugged, “Well… maybe saving water. Gotta save the pennies if we’re going to be trying for a baby again.”

“You’re sure?” Patsy asked gently, “Cos if you are I’ll email Lucy at the Clinic the minute we’re out of this shower.”

“I’m positive.” 

“I hope so.” Patsy smirked, “Hey! Hold on, are you saying that you don’t want to have your wicked way with me in the shower? I guess the honeymoon phase is definitely over.” 

“I don’t think the honeymoon phase will ever be over.” Delia responded, “I still feel giddy just looking at you and I always want my wicked way with you but not when my Mam is right next door. It reminds me of being a teenager.” Delia chuckled, “Besides, there’s something romantic about sharing a shower for the sake of sharing a shower, don’t you think?” 

“It’s not often you get all sentimental Deels.” Patsy murmured with a soft smile. 

“No… I’m just savouring the ability to shower in peace because in a years time, something tells me that won’t be an option.” 

Both women grinned at one another as their imaginations drifted to the wonderful possibilities of a future plus one. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this. Thought I'd give ya'll a bit of fluff before things step up in the next chapter ;) 
> 
> Thank you, as always, to all of you who comment and leave kudos. It's so encouraging!


	17. There's Still Hope Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING...
> 
> So, I don't post these very often as I don't like to be spoilery BUT as this is a sensitive subject and I know some of you reading are going through similar experiences in real life, I'm adding one in.
> 
> This chapter will discuss suspected miscarriage. If you don't want to read it, you can skip ahead to the last paragraph which provides the 'solution' if you like and is more hopeful. If you don't want to read it at all, that's also fine, and when I post the next chapter, I'll try and make it so that you won't need to have read this one.
> 
> Anyway... that's the warning. Hopefully it won't have given you too many spoilers!

Enid Busby stayed for a week - just long enough to support Delia through yet another round of treatment. After a few days, she’d began to grate on Patsy’s nerves slightly and Delia wondered if it was possible to strain her eyes from an abundance of eye-rolling. Both, however, had been beyond grateful for her support and as they waved her goodbye with a promise to keep her updated, there’d been a real sense of commitment, love and hope between them.

Four weeks on and Delia hadn’t said a word to Patsy about anything. She’d asked if this time she could take the test alone when she felt ready rather than setting a date. The red-head has immediately agreed, pushing her own feelings aside, keen for Delia to remain in her current optimistic mood. She would be damned if she was going to ruin the good work of Enid Busby - after all, she didn’t want her to return for another week - not yet anyway. 

As yet another month passed by marking two months since Mrs Busby's visit, Patsy’s anticipation dwindled and an increase in her already hectic workload had pushed the thoughts of conception to the back of her mind. She was grateful really, that she didn’t have time to think about it all day. She was sure if she did, she would go completely mad. It was probably why when Shelagh dragged her out of assisting Patrick with a young patient she assumed she would be entering another, she did not for one second think it would be anything to do with Delia. 

—

Trixie plastered a smile on her face as she waved goodbye to the couple she’d just done an ultrasound for. They’d been Delia’s patients but the Welsh nurse had ran out of the room, looking almost on the verge of tears and asked Trixie to take over before dashing to the toilet. Trixie, although worried, had thought little of it and taken over. It was only as she watched the baby on screen that she wondered if Delia was suffering from some form of belated morning sickness. Patsy hadn’t said a word though - still, it was early days, maybe they were keeping it a secret. 

By the time she’d waved the couple off, she’d convinced herself that her joyful assumption was spot on, and so she was surprised to enter the ladies bathroom to hear tears. She took a moment, hoping beyond hope that the assumption entering her mind was wrong. 

“Delia?” Trixie breathed quietly, “Sweetie, are you alright?”

There was nothing only the sound of more tears. Trixie sighed. 

“Sweetie, if there’s a problem, I can help-“

“You can’t! I’m losing it. I finally conceived and I’m losing it!” Delia cried. 

Trixie felt her breath catch, her eyes were suddenly burning from the cruelty of the situation.

“I’m so sorry Delia.” Trixie whispered, “But sweetie, can you open the door? I can still help you.” 

Delia didn’t answer, simply sobbed some more. At that moment the door opened, Trixie spun to see a young student nurse she didn’t recognise enter. 

“Use another bathroom!” Trixie commanded.

“What, why?” 

“Because I said so.” Trixie demanded. “Go.” 

The student left with a grumble. Trixie tried a few more times to get Delia to open the door but realised that it wasn’t going to happen. She was too distraught and knowing Delia, too ashamed despite that shame being misplaced, to open the door. There was only one person who would be able to get through to Delia and get her the help she needed, but Trixie was loath to leave the Welshwoman and for the first time in forever, she didn’t have her phone in her tunic pocket. 

She was weighing up her options when Shelagh entered, a stern yet confused look upon her face. It was evident that the student Nurse had gone running straight to the Scotswoman and she’d come to investigate. 

“Go fetch Patsy.” Trixie murmured to Shelagh who nodded in understanding, her features becoming downcast as she comprehended the situation.

“No!’ Delia cried. “She doesn’t know. I haven’t told her-“

“Delia.” 

“I was going to tell her tonight.”

Shelagh left quietly, nodding to Trixie before galloping down the corridor as fast as she could. She looked around the ward, trying her best to locate the redhead. She finally caught a glimpse of her, on her haunches examining a small boy’s teddy with her stethoscope. He was giggling, further pleased when she removed the ear buds and allowed him to listen too. A wide, unreserved smile was gracing her features in a rare show of playfulness. Shelagh sighed, she felt loath to drag Patsy away from such a happy scene to such a devastating one.

“Dr Mount?” Shelagh asked, her tone urgent. 

“Yes?” She asked without looking up, giggling as the little boy placed the stethoscope on her chest, listening before doing the same to his Father who was sat with him. 

“We could do with your assistance.” 

“Right just let me-“

“It’s Delia.” Shelagh added.

Patsy finally looked up, eyes full of fear and questioning. She had known Shelagh long enough to know that this was serious. She turned back to the little boy forcing a light tone to her voice despite her mind screaming all the worse case scenarios at her. Patrick was looking at her from his position helping the boy’s Mother, but Patsy was completely distracted. 

“Stellar work young man, now might I have this back?” She asked pointing to the stethoscope. Her voice shook slightly.

The little boy nodded and handed it back. She tried a smile, knowing it was shallow before turning to Shelagh and signalling for her to lead the way. Both ran as fast as they could. Patsy gasped as Shelagh stopped outside the staff bathroom. She chanced a look at the older woman and immediately felt her heart sink. 

“Good Lord…” Patsy breathed, eyes burning. 

“She won’t come out of the cubicle, Trixie is in there.” Shelagh whispered, “I’m sorry Patsy…” 

“This isn’t about me right now.” Patsy stated firmly, swallowing the emotion. 

She entered the toilets with as much strength as she could muster. She needed to be brave. There would be time later for her to breakdown. She noticed Trixie stood against the door and nodded at her, signalling that it was alright. 

“I’ll be just outside the door.” Trixie whispered, squeezing Patsy’s hand as she walked past. “I’ll get a wheelchair.” She added under her breath, just loud enough for her best friend to hear. 

Left alone, Patsy took a deep, shuddering breath before squaring her shoulders and walking towards the door.

“Delia?” 

“I’m so sorry Pats, I didn’t tell you and now I’m losing it and-“

“Please don’t apologise Deels.” Patsy closed her eyes, “This isn’t your fault.”

“I wanted to tell you tonight.” Delia sobbed.

“Darling.” Patsy said quietly, “Will you open the door? Please.”

A few moments passed, Patsy holding her breath, only releasing it when the locked clicked and the swung slightly open. Patsy pushed it gently and entered, her heart breaking as she saw Delia sat, looking impossibly small. She bent down, her arms wrapping around her wife as she sobbed. Patsy bit her lip, trying to hold it together but even she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. They remained like that for a few moments, Patsy whispering sweet nothings into her love’s ear. 

“Delia.” She finally rasped, pulling away slightly, “Can I examine you?” 

Delia nodded tearfully. Patsy began her usual examination and was about to ask Delia to stand if she felt able when she had a thought. A memory, almost forgotten, their last chance. She looked to Delia, knowing that this would upset her if her hunch (or dream) was incorrect. 

“Darling, I need you to trust me.” Patsy murmured as she took her stethoscope from around her neck.

“I do.” Delia cried, “But it’s no use…”

“Shush.” 

Patsy gently placed the stethoscope on her wife’s stomach, eyes closed as she focussed on the task at hand. She gasped, fresh tears gathering as she heard it. She signalled for Delia to place the stethoscope in her own ears as Patsy held it in place. Delia too gasped. 

“I’m not-?” 

“We need to get you out of this toilet and onto the ward.” Patsy snapped into Doctor Mount mode, standing and calling for Trixie, “You’re gonna be alright, Deels, you both are. I promise you.” 

Trixie entered with the chair and within minutes, Delia was in it and being whizzed down the corridor, Patsy’s stethoscope still in her ears. She knew that Shelagh was there too and that she and Trixie were listening intently to Patsy and all her medical jargon but all Delia could focus on was the heartbeat of her baby. The baby she hadn’t yet lost, the baby who stood a chance, the baby she loved. For the first time ever, Delia prayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DELIA IS PREGNANT... yay!
> 
> I've researched complications quite extensively, and this seemed quite common. I wasn't originally going to add anything like this in as I think all too often things like this are done for dramatic effect without any real reason. But I read a blog of a woman who thought she'd lost her baby and actually hadn't, bleeding was just a side effect she was unaware of (of the treatment she chose) and it really, really touched me and so I decided to explore that within the world of Patsy and Delia.
> 
> Right, I'm going to shut up rambling...
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's reading and commenting! :)


	18. Doctor Mount's Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think ya'll deserve some sweetness... 
> 
> Delia tells Patsy... again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to ImagineTheTwo who drew the most beautiful picture of these two based on this story. It's my icon (I'm an absolute technophobe so it took me ages to work out how to change it!) and I'm so touched and honoured that she chose to draw them based on my work.
> 
> I was also massively drunk when I first saw it... sorry for the drunk ramblings!

“So the bleeding was due to the procedure. It’s not unheard of and it means that you’re fine, both of you. Patrick and I have discussed the situation and we’ve decided it’s best to keep you on the ward for a few days though-“

“What? Patsy, that’s absurd! I literally live with you.” 

“It doesn’t matter. You need to be here. Complete bed rest, plenty of fluids and careful monitoring.” Patsy was in ‘full Doctor Mount’ mode, her characteristic sternness not fading in light of treating her wife. 

“But-“

“No buts, no ifs, no maybes.” Patsy demanded, “You’re staying in, on bed rest.” 

“What if I check my self out?”

“We’ll be getting divorced.” Patsy warned. “Besides, Patrick, _your_ Doctor, agrees with me.” 

Delia sighed moodily.

“Fine.” 

Patsy smirked. She knew that Delia would argue over her chosen course of treatment. She sat on the edge of the bed, picking up one of Delia’s hands in both of hers. She traced the fine lines, transfixed. In the drama of thinking Delia’s was having a miscarriage and the subsequent revelation that she wasn’t and then working on treating the bleeding, it hadn’t really sunk in that Delia was in fact pregnant. They were going to be Mothers. 

“You alright, cariad?” Delia asked.

“You’re pregnant.” Patsy breathed.

“Yes?”

“You’re pregnant!” Patsy enthused, grinning widely, “Oh darling, I’m so happy.”

“Yeh?”

“Yes.” Patsy beamed, “I love you, I love you so much, both of you… Gosh, I don’t know what to say… I… Wow… I love you.”

Delia chuckled, enjoying watching Doctor Mount slowly fade away and her wife emerge. 

“I love you too.” Delia smiled. “Although I’m slightly put out at not being able to tell you and see your face - I guess that’s what I get for having to be a drama queen.” 

Patsy sighed as she glanced upwards into Delia’s eyes. She could see that her wife was genuinely disappointed at not being able to surprise her. Her joking may have fooled many but not Patsy. She could change it though. She grinned widely as a plan formed, she dropped Delia’s hand and sat up, removing her stethoscope. 

“Tell me now.”

“Pats-“

“Tell me.” Patsy implored taking her hands once more, “Doctor Mount might know but your wife, Patsy Busby-Mount can assure you she has no idea.” 

Delia shook her head at the ridiculous woman in front of her, a smile playing at her lips. She ran her thumb across the top of Patsy’s hand. She grinned as she felt love overwhelm her as she gazed into Patsy’s eyes.

“Patsy.”

“Yes darling.” Patsy murmured.

“I’m pregnant.” Delia said, “We’re having a baby.” 

Patsy’s grin was so wide that Delia almost believed that she was telling her for the first time. The squeal that accompanied it so unlike Doctor Mount that she truly felt like she’d hit a milestone. She laughed as she felt Patsy’s arms wrap around her tightly.

“We’re going to be parents!” Patsy beamed, pulling back with tears shining in her eyes. “You’re the best. I love you. Have I told you I love you?”

“You can tell me as many times as you like.” Delia laughed. 

“You’re pregnant!” Patsy repeated. “It’s actually happening.” 

“It is.” 

Patsy felt happy tears fall as she kissed Delia gently before pulling her into a tight embrace. They remained locked together for some time. Neither wanting to move. It was Patsy who eventually pulled away, her hand falling onto Delia’s stomach. She smiled as she felt a small hand cover hers. 

“They’re growing, right beneath our hands.” Patsy whispered. “Our baby is in there.” 

“Yep.” Delia murmured. They remained like that for a few moments, both beyond happy. “I guess we can’t keep it a secret now?”

“No.” Patsy chuckled, “I’ll tell the staff. Later. First I want to spend a few moments in here, with you, as Patience Elizabeth Busby-Mount, your wife and expectant Mother.” 

“I’d never have imagined hearing you say those words a few weeks ago.” 

“Neither would I, and yet here we are.” Patsy smiled, “I’m proud of you, Deels.” 

“What for?”

“Being strong, being beautiful, being my wife.” 

“You sap.” 

“Hmm…” Patsy hummed, “You need to ring your Mother.” 

“She can wait.” 

“No she can’t.” Patsy scolded withdrawing her phone, “Tell her, besides, how are you feeling? To have thought you were losing them one minute to being completely fine the next…”

“It is… overwhelming. I suppose it’s hard to imagine that there’s a little human being growing inside of me… that it’s actually happened and that everything is ok and…” She trailed off.

“All perfectly valid things to feel.” Patsy promised, “And I’m sure your Mother will tell you the exact same thing.”  

“Fine.” Delia sighed. “You win. I’ll call her.”

Patsy watched as Delia rang her Mam, both grinning widely at one another. 

“Hello Mam.” Delia said brightly as she answered, “I’m pregnant.” 

Delia had to hold the phone away from her ear as Mrs Enid Busby squealed so loud down the phone that Patsy was convinced the entire ward must have heard. Both women laughed.

Everything would be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone reading this, leaving kudos, commenting. It's really keeping me going! I'm so glad you're all liking it :D


	19. Bravado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia is bored in hospital... and Patsy responds to a crisis which may reacquaint her with her past.

Three days later Delia was still in hospital, still on bed rest and still trying her absolute hardest to persuade Patsy to allow her to go home. Patsy however, seemed immune to Delia’s badgering, simply shaking her head with a wry smile at every new attempt. She’d tried her luck with Patrick to who was in charge of her treatment, but he, evidently cowed by Patsy (in Delia’s opinion anyway) had been very much of the same opinion. After twenty-four hours, Delia had moved onto the main ward with three other expectant mothers on bed rest. All four had become firm friends in their unified desperation to go home. 

“What’s the difference between lying here?” Asked a blonde by the name of Louisa, “Than lying in my bed at home?”

“My training and Nurse Busby persona would have me tell you it’s because there’s medical help on hand here, monitoring and absolutely no possibility of you getting bored and starting to do strenuous activity such as housework.” Delia replied. “I, as Delia Busby-Mount expectant Mother, would argue absolutely nothing.” 

“Better keep listening to Nurse Busby then.”

A huge grin split across Delia’s features as her wife entered the room, a couple of students trailing behind her. Both looked an equal mix of petrified and eager, one she noticed, a young girl who wore her identity quite clearly seemed rather transfixed by the sway of Patsy’s hips. Delia felt a smirk play at her lips. 

“How are you feeling?” Patsy asked softly standing at the side of bed, indicating for the girl who Delia had noticed to start doing the necessary checks. 

“Bored.” Delia pouted.

“Other than bored?” Patsy smirked, mimicking Delia’s tone. 

“Fine, really Pats, I’m fine.” Delia smiled, reaching a hand out to Patsy who took it, running her thumb over her wife’s knuckles. Delia noticed the student’s eyebrows raise and a slight pink tinge colour her cheeks as she finally realised their relationship. “I just want to come home.” 

“I know.” Patsy murmured, “And if everything stays on track today then Patrick and I have spoke about it and we’ll let you come home tomorrow.”

“Woo-“

“If.” Patsy added, one finger rising to halt Delia’s cheers, “You promise to continue with the bed rest for another week. No working, no gym, no housework.” 

“There’s never any housework for me to do anyway.” Delia pouted, “But fine, yes. Anything.”

Patsy nodded, squeezing Delia’s hand once more before releasing it and turning to the student Doctor. 

“Is everything alright, Doctor Jones?” 

“Yes.” The girl stammered, handing over the sheet to Patsy who nodded before replacing it.

“Come along then. I’ll see you later, Deels.” 

Patsy smiled before signalling for the students to follow her. Delia reached out a hand to the young girl, catching her hand as Patsy began conversing with Teri in the bed next to her. She’d noticed that the student Doctor despite evidently admiring her wife also seemed to be petrified of her and almost too desperate to please. Patsy’s aloofness was evidently getting to her. 

“Don’t be cowed by her.” Delia tipped warmly, “I know she comes off as stone cold Doctor Mount but she’s an absolute marshmallow underneath the steel. Just don’t tell her I told you.” 

“She’s got such a reputation.” The student allowed, “It’s an honour to be following her around and I just don’t want to get anything wrong.”

“You won’t and if you do, she’ll help you. Don’t worry. You’re doing great.” Delia promised, “Now, catch up.”

The student nodded gratefully before scurrying off back to Patsy. The older woman turned, raising one eyebrow at Delia for a moment before turning back to her patient. Delia watched as her wife completed her rounds, taking more than a few moments to appreciate her attire. She was wearing a pair of checked grey trousers with a white shirt. It was simple but undeniably elegant and paired with her trademark red lipstick and a pair of black heels, Delia felt herself swoon. She felt incredibly lucky to call the beautiful woman in front of her, her wife - and she found ‘At Work Pats’ inexplicably attractive. When Patsy finally left with one final lingering look, Delia closed her eyes, drifting off into dreams filled with long legs and red locks. 

—

Patsy rolled her shoulders as she took a moments refuge in her office. She knew how important work placements were for students but that didn’t make them any less tiring. Having to explain everything she was doing, supervising them as she allowed them as much hands on experience as she dared and generally being followed around was exhausting. She’d left them eating lunch with the midwives at the Nurse’s station. She could see from the window of her office that they were deep in conversation with Trixie and Barbara, an amused Phyllis watching on as Val shovelled rice into her mouth as she tried to write something up. Julienne was talking to Winifred about something and Patrick and Shelagh were both stood discussing a case. She smiled, content with where she was. 

Her pleasant musings were broken by the shrill of the telephone. She answered it methodically.

“Dr Mount, have you seen the news?” 

“Hello Amber.” Patsy drawled sarcastically, “No why?”

“There’s been a terror attack.” Amber informed her, “On the tube. Bombing by the looks of things. Bastards.” 

Patsy felt her heart rate rise, her stomach twist into a knot. She closed her eyes, focussing on breathing. 

“When did this happen?” 

“About half an hour ago.” Amber replied, “We’ve got crews down there now and one has just phoned through to say that there’s a woman who’s heavily pregnant down there. She’s in labour but there’s complications. They need a midwife, it’s too late to move her.” 

Patsy looked out onto the ward to her colleagues. The picture from moments before was broken. Now, the TV was on and they were all huddled around it, hands over their mouths. It was evident that someone had seen the news. She closed her eyes. She knew the horror of these attacks and she would be dammed if she was going to send any of her staff there. There was only one option. 

“I’ll come.” Patsy said with far more bravado than she felt, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Just grab one of the ambulances on their way down.” Amber said, “I’m sorry to drag you into this.”

“Nonsense.” Patsy said lightly, “We must all pull together. Besides, a mother needs me.”

With that the phone call ended. Patsy quickly threw on her overalls, green with the word Doctor written in silver letters on the breast, and a more sensible set of boots. She took a breath before leaving her office. She tried to sneak out but was spotted by Trixie who ran over.

“Where are you going?” Trixie demanded, “You can’t go Pats!” 

“They need me.” Patsy responded, “There’s a Mother in labour and-“

“Then let me go!” Trixie pleaded, “Patsy, you can’t.”

“No.” Patsy refuted, “I can Trixie. You stay here.” 

“Delia will go mad.” 

“Then don’t tell her.” Patsy pleaded, “I can’t stand here arguing with you Trixie. Just do as I ask, please.” 

The red-head spun. leaving the blonde shaking her head. Trixie had a bad feeling about this…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't let it get too fluffy now could I?! 
> 
> The next few chapters will really delve into Patsy's history. Obviously on the show, her past is troubled and set firmly in the time period so I hope I manage to do it justice as I try to bring it into the present. I think it's an absolute intrinsic part of who Patsy is, so I hope you all enjoy (I'm not sure that's the right word) it.
> 
> Anyway... enough rambling from me or I'll give away the entire story. Thank you to everyone reading and commenting :)


	20. A Bleeding Bombsite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for things related to terrorism.
> 
> This chapter focuses on the 'action in the moment' for want of a better phrase.

Patsy had hooked a ride with Fred, one of the ambulance drivers and Tom, a paramedic whom was Barbara’s boyfriend. The journey to the station was quiet. All three in a state of contemplation. Tom had his hands clasped together, head bowed, evidently in prayer. Patsy knew he’d originally been intent on becoming a vicar and was an active member of his Church. Fred was simply focussed on driving - the usually loud, blubbering man, subdued in these circumstances. For her part, Patsy was simply trying to hold it together. She would need all her strength and more. This could set her back, probably would set her back, but she knew the horrors of suicide bombings and she would not burden anyone else with them to save her own bacon. 

“We’re here.” Fred said quietly. “Jesus.” He breathed as they all took in the sight of bloodied people limping away. 

Patsy swallowed, not saying a word and instead fixed her helmet in place before getting out of the ambulance. She stalked forward, speaking robotically to a police officer and then to another of the rescue team to be led to the pregnant woman. The smell was the first thing that hit her. It was a stench that never left you and she was instantly transported back to twenty years prior when she’d first experienced it. As they descended down, the images of the present merged with those of the past and Patsy forced herself to keep focussed on the task at hand. She had to block it out. She had to block out the death, the pain, the horror. 

The carriage the woman was on was barely even recognisable as a carriage. Paramedics littered it trying to help people. For the most part, most of the people were alive, but all were wounded. Patsy noticed Timothy, Shelagh and Patrick’s son sat with the woman she was evidently sent here to help. Tim was on placement with the London Ambulance Service as part of his own medical training. She smiled sadly at him, placing a hand on his shoulder. No one should have to see this, never mind a young man. 

“Tim.” Patsy whispered, “Thank you.” 

“Do you want me to stay Miss, I mean, Mrs, I mean Doctor Mount?” 

“I’d prefer it if you’d go above ground and call your parents, let them know you’re alright, but something tells me if you leave me you’ll be straight over to another patient.” Patsy smiled knowingly, “And so I’d like you to stay and assist me.” 

Timothy nodded.

“I’m Doctor Mount.” Patsy spoke softly to the woman, “I’m here to help you. Might I examine you-?”

“Lorraine.” The woman breathed, her East End accent evident. “And yes… please… just get me out of here.” 

Patsy nodded before beginning her examination. She closed her eyes and sighed. Baby was in the wrong position and coming far too quickly. Despite their situation and location it was obvious that this baby would be delivered here and Patsy was going to have to go right back to basics. She took a breath before looking the woman directly in the eye.

“Baby is in the wrong position for delivery and he’s coming far too quickly.” Patsy said, “We need to slow him down and then we need to try and sort out the positioning. Dependant on how safe this carriage this, you may need to try and change position.”

“Safe? Doctor! It’s a bleeding bomb site! Of course it’s not safe!” The woman snapped.

Patsy ignored her. 

“I don’t want my baby born here! Surrounded by dead bodies and dying people. Look at all the bloody dust!” 

“Lorraine do you really think I want to deliver a baby down here?” Patsy snapped back, her temper frayed. “We don’t have any choice. This baby is going to be born here. You can either make it easier for yourself or harder. The sooner you have this baby, the sooner we can get out of here.” 

“What if this whole structure collapses?” Lorraine asked tearfully, “What if we die before then?”

“We won’t. I have a pregnant wife in hospital who needs me and your baby is going to need you.” Patsy promised ignoring the raise of the other woman's eyebrows. “Do you have any other children?”

“A little boy, Alex.” Lorraine said as Patsy began to coax her through her breathing, “Do you and your wife have any other children?”

“No.” Patsy responded, “First one. Tell me about Alex.” Patsy requested as she began to manoeuvre the woman into the position she required. 

“He’s a right buggar. Three going on thirty three!” Lorraine began, before she screeched as a bit of debris fell, dust settling on her. “I ain’t having this baby here! I can’t! Look, the whole thing is bloody falling. There’s no roof on this bloody tin can and- can’t he just carry me?” She fretted pointing at Tim who looked petrified at the prospect.

“That will do more harm than good right now.” Patsy murmured. She sighed and looked up into the other woman's eyes, taking her hand. “Lorraine, I need you to trust me.” 

“You’re not the one who’s been caught up in a bomb… look at my leg…” 

Patsy inhaled deeply as she noticed the woman’s leg was bandaged. 

“Apparently I need an operation but getting the baby out safe is the priority… and it is but, you haven’t been through it! I don’t want to have this baby. What world am I bringing them into?” 

“A world that will be strong and stand up against this and a home full of love.” Patsy responded, her voice catching. “If you don’t have this baby and you don’t keep on living then they win, alright? Do you want them to win?” 

“No but-“

“Then trust me. Forget about your location and what it means and focus on bringing your baby into this world. Close your eyes and think of your favourite place.” Patsy instructed, slowly letting go of her hand. “Tim, I need you to go and get me an incubator out of the ambulance and have a crew on standby. As soon as this baby is out we’re going to need to move.” 

Tim nodded, dashing off. 

“Right, Lorraine. Pant, pant, pant, that’s it. You’re doing marvellous.” 

“I can’t- what if this changes me?” 

Patsy sat back slightly and looked at the woman before her. She was probably a touch older than Patsy, with long, brown hair. Her clothes suggested she was more interested in comfort than style. She was short and stocky, Patsy imagined she had the strength of a bull. 

“It will change you.” Patsy said simply, “But how it changes you is up to you. You can either sit and wallow or you can learn and stand strong. Trust me when I say the latter is harder but so much more worth it. You’ll be alright. You’ve gotten this far.” 

“You sound like you know a thing or two about that?”

“I was caught up in a bombing when I was nine years old.” Patsy admitted. “I lost my Mother and Sister.” 

“Oh… gosh.” The woman looked shell shocked. “And you’re down here? Isn’t it setting off memories?” 

“I’m blocking them out.” Patsy smiled tightly, “Because if I don’t I won’t be able to help you, and you need my help right now. I need you to block where we are out too. Just focus. You can do this and you will be alright. I promise.” 

Lorraine nodded and gritted her teeth.

—

“Oh my goodness.” Barbara exclaimed as she checked Delia’s pulse. “Isn’t it awful?” 

Both their eyes were set on the screen above Delia's bed, watching the events unfurl live. Delia hummed a response. She was more interested in where Patsy was. She knew that this would be affecting the older woman and usually she would have gone and found her, made sure she was alright, but she didn't want to risk getting out of bed and annoying an already tense Patsy. Besides, Barbara had practically taken camp by her bedside. 

“Where’s Patsy?” Delia asked lightly.

“You know, I have no idea.” Barbara frowned, “I haven’t seen her for ages. She was taking the students around on her rounds. One of them is with Trixie now though. Ah speak of the devil…” Barbara grinned as Trixie walked onto the ward with the student Delia had spoken to earlier trailing behind her. “Have you seen Patsy, Trix?” 

“Patsy?” Trixie sing-songed, her voice an octave to high to be innocent, “I think she was off having a meeting…”

“You’re a shit liar, Trixie.” Delia replied. “Where is-“

Suddenly her attention was dragged to the TV where the presenter was reporting that there was a rumour of a pregnant woman in labour on one of the damaged carriages. A doctor was down there now helping her to deliver. He was continuing about the structure but Delia felt like her stomach had dropped. 

“She’s there isn’t she?” Delia asked.

“Delia…” Trixie began.

“Oh no, don’t _Delia_ me, Beatrix Franklin! How could you let her go?” Delia asked angrily, tears welling. 

“I tried to stop her! I did.” Trixie retorted, “She wouldn’t listen. I offered to go instead but she refused.” 

“You know how she gets just watching these things on television… she isn’t going to handle seeing it all… not again!” 

Barbara and the student looked between one another before glancing between Trixie and Delia. Trixie bit her lip as Delia shook her head, her eyes glued to the screen.

“I can’t believe she’s done this.” Delia growled. 

“Delia, you need to calm down.” Barbara tried soothingly.

“Calm down? How? When my bloody wife has taken herself off to a bloody terrorist attack that’s going to set her-" She paused, glancing at Barbara and the student before continuing regardless, "PTSD off allover again?” Delia said angrily. 

“This isn’t good for you or baby.” Trixie said, taking Delia’s hands firmly. “Patsy will be fine. As soon as she’s back, I’ll come and get you.” 

“You know how she gets though Trixie.” Delia argued weakly, "You know why."

“I do… but I also know she would never do anything to jeopardise your future.”

“It’s so bloody typical of her… trying to be a hero.” Delia sighed sadly, “She always says that no one should have to see it, experience it… that’s why she’s gone isn’t it? So no one else has to go through what she went through.” 

“I don’t know sweetie.” Trixie sighed, “But she’ll be alright. She survived when she was nine, she’s survived through til now, she’s just doing her job… she’ll survive this.” 

Delia nodded, happy to be cradled by Trixie. She looked to the pale looking student.

“Don’t you ever do this to your future wife, you hear me? Bloody Doctors.” Delia sniffed.

“Barbara… Why don’t you take Ellie and take over from me.” Trixie suggested quietly. 

Barbara agreed and led the young girl out. Trixie pressed a gentle kiss to Delia’s head. _Come on Patsy,_ she thought, _You have to get out of there. Be alright… Delia needs you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying this! It's hard to write but I'm also enjoying looking at Patsy more in-depth in a modern setting. 
> 
> I'm away next week in Amsterdam so I'm hoping to update at least once more before then, but if there's no updates next week, you'll know why!


	21. She's Not Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drama continues... Does Patsy get out unharmed?
> 
> PS. I'm no Doctor so excuse me if any of the medical terms and things are wrong!

“Marvellous work Lorraine!” Patsy encouraged. She nodded at the two paramedics and Tim who were standing by. They were the last people on the carriage and more and more dust was falling. 

“Is it nearly out?”

“Almost. But you have to wait for the next contraction before you push alright? We can’t rush this.” Patsy said, her hand resting on Lorraine’s. 

“We can’t delay it either.” One of the paramedics muttered, his eyes drifting up to the looming devastation. It was obviously going to fall. 

“If you don’t have anything useful to say, might I suggest you leave?” Patsy snapped. 

“This is it? Isn’t it?” Lorraine whispered, “We’re going to die.”

“No!” Patsy said confidently, “We are not going to die.”

“There’s another pain-“ Lorraine broke off and screamed. A bit of the carriage fell. Everyone ducked for a moment.

“The head is born!” Patsy beamed, despite the situation, there was still nothing more beautiful than a baby being born. “Ok… breath, that’s it. Now, one more big push when I tell you and this baby will be born alright? As soon as baby is out, I will wrap him in a towel, pass him to you and cut the cord. The minute the cord is cut, I’ll need to hand him to Tim who will take him above ground.” 

“No, I won’t let him go!”

“You have to. He’ll be in the ambulance waiting for you. But we’ll need to deliver the afterbirth and get you stretchered out. Trust me.” 

Lorraine nodded, gritting her teeth as another pain hit. She screamed as the baby finally slid into Patsy’s hands. A groan sounded from above, more dust falling, rocks too. Patsy passed the baby over quickly.

“A boy.” She panted as she cut the cord. “I’m sorry Lorraine, but it’s only for a moment.” She said as she whipped the child out of the Mother’s arms and into Tim’s. The young boy leaving the carriage what seemed like seconds later. “Alright, Lorraine. We’re going to get you on the stretcher now and-“

As Patsy spoke, a huge piece of debris fell.

“Move it!” She shouted. “We need to move!” 

Both paramedics dashed forward as Patsy tried to take note of the afterbirth. She had a decision to make. She could see the structure was only just holding. As a rumble sounded from above, she nodded to the paramedics. Lorraine was bundled onto the stretcher and all three began to run. As they did, a loud bang was heard. Dust fell. Debris fell. The carriage was no more.

—

Delia was still wrapped in Trixie’s arms. Both were watching the live newsfeed. All the Mother’s were huddled around the screen, watching with baited breath. Suddenly the journalists were running.

“Why are they running?” Delia panicked.

“You know how these things are-“ Trixie began but stopped as the reporter came back on screen. 

“We’ve been moved back as there are worries about the structure of the building. They think there’s going to be a collapse of one of the floors any moment now. There’s still numerous paramedics working down there and countless victims including a pregnant, labouring woman.” 

Delia was frozen. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t do anything but stare. She gripped Trixie’s arm so tight that Trixie startled, pained. Everyone was holding their breath. Dr Mount was down there. Their doctor who had been so jovial this morning was now down there… and the building was collapsing and-

“Is that Timothy?!” Trixie exclaimed as she spotted a young man clad in green carrying a baby in an incubator. “It is! She won’t be far behind him. Don’t worry Delia.” 

Delia didn't say a word. Shelagh and Patrick however had heard and had come running over. Both gasping.

“He didn’t say he was there!” Shelagh fretted.

“He wouldn’t have had much chance love… look he’s alright.” Patrick breathed. 

Delia still kept her eyes on the screen. Suddenly, through the television set they heard a rumble, then a bang. Dust burst through the doors. 

“It looks as though the structure has collapsed as expected.” The reporter said. “We’ll bring confirmation as soon as we have it but it’s expected to have caused further injury.”

Finally Delia broke. Her sobs were guttural, utterly haunting. Trixie held her, her own tears falling. This couldn’t be happening.

“She’s gone.” Delia cried, “She was down there, she’s gone!” Delia was sobbing uncontrollably. 

Surprisingly it was Patrick who took her hands and calmed her. “You don’t know that. We don’t know that yet. You have to keep positive, Delia. Patsy is a fighter, she’ll be alright.”

“She isn’t invincible! Why does everyone think she is? Damn her, damn-“

“Delia look.” Shelagh gasped.

Emerging from the dust, looking battered and bruised, the camera had zoomed in on six people leaving the building. Two were carrying a stretcher, whilst a woman held two people upright, dragging them. The paramedics dropped the stretcher down and the woman, after helping the two people to the floor, crawled to the stretcher evidently still working on the woman upon it. As she removed her helmet, familiar fiery red locks appeared.

“She’s alright!” Trixie exclaimed. “Look, Delia she’s alright!” 

Delia had began to cry even harder once again, looked up, eyes transfixed.

“She’s going to wish she stayed down there when I see her.” Delia sniffed. 

“I don’t doubt it.” Patrick laughed. 

—

Patsy checked the afterbirth, giving a thumbs up, before closing her eyes, head lolling back. That had been close. Too close. She took a moment, to gather her breath, before standing. She could see Tim waving from the ambulance. 

“Let’s get moving.” Patsy breathed. 

Right now, all she wanted was to get out of here. Get Lorraine and baby the help they required and then fall into the arms of her wife. 

—

After Delia had calmed down, Trixie suggested a trip to the bathroom in order to tidy herself up. The pair had hobbled down the corridor together, slowly. Both united in their shared relief that Patsy was alright. Trixie helped Delia to remove the traces of her initial devastation when she thought Patsy was gone and also reassured herself that the stress hadn’t effected the baby. 

“Nothing is happening to this little miracle.” Delia promised. Trixie nodded and took Delia’s arm, leading her from the bathroom.

As they exited, they noticed Patsy in front of them, her back to them. She was directing the paramedics as to where to place Lorraine and baby. It was obvious that Patsy wanted to get the ante-natal side of things sorted before she handed Lorraine over to deal with her obvious leg injury. Delia gasped.

“Patsy.”

The taller woman spun. Her eyes boring into Delia’s. She gasped. Eyes wet as she rushed forward, wrapping her arms tight around the Welsh woman. They remained clinched for a few moments until Delia pulled back, her initial relief turning into anger.

“How could you?” Delia snarled, hitting Patsy’s chest, “How could you risk your life like that?” 

“Delia-” Patsy pleaded.

“You’re a bloody idiot Patience Elizabeth Mount. You could have died! What were you thinking? Running off to a bloody bomb site of all places!” 

“Delia.” Patsy’s tone was now a warning. 

“You know! You bloody well know what it’s like to lose someone to a suicide bomb. Dammit Patsy, you lost your Mother and Sister to one and you just swanned off like it was nothing! I thought you were dead!”

“Well I’m not.” Patsy snapped back.

“No, but I bet it’ll be back. The PTSD.” Delia shook her head, “I’m so angry with you right now.”

“Thanks for telling the whole ward.” Patsy snapped back a little too loudly,, she lowered her tone as she noticed everyone looking at them. She could see the student from earlier staring, “I can’t do this right now. I can’t deal with you right now.” 

“Don’t walk away from me Patsy!” Delia shouted as Patsy turned. “Where are you going?” 

“Where I’m needed.” Patsy replied coldly, “Student Doctor Jones, please assist with Lorraine and baby. Dr Turner will require your assistance. Nurse Franklin, please see that my wife is safely returned to her bed. She’s meant to be on bed rest.”

With those icy words she left, swinging out of the ward. 

“I fucking hate her.” Delia breathed to Trixie. 

“I think we all do.” Trixie sighed, “It’s why it’s so infuriating that we also happen to love her. Come on, you need to get some rest. Think of baby. Patsy is alright. I know she won’t be afterwards but right now, she’s fine and probably off helping out in A&E. You need to concentrate on you and your baby.”

Delia nodded and allowed herself to be led back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Patsy did get out unharmed physically but what about mentally? 
> 
> I'm hoping to get the next chapter up tomorrow before I go away but as usual I've left ALL my packing until the last minute and still need a ton of last minute bits and bobs. So if I don't manage to get it up tomorrow, I promise to get the next chapter up on Friday when I get back. I promise there will be some good Pupcake and an exploration of how the present moulds with Patsy's past. 
> 
> Thank you, as always, to everyone reading and especially to those who comment too. It really keeps me going and I love to hear what you think. :)


	22. I Just Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia goes looking for Patsy in the aftermath of the terrorist attack and their 'disagreement'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a chapter now I'm back off holiday! Sorry I didn't get it up before!

Delia awoke to complete darkness. She groaned, rolling over to reach for her phone. The time read four twenty nine - in the morning. She flopped back, one arm over her eyes. God, had she really slept for that long? Her thoughts drifted to Patsy. Where was she? Was she alright? Delia sighed as she remembered the harsh words they’d thrown at one another. She’d been so angry that it had clouded her rational. Shouting at Patsy wouldn’t have helped at all. She should have just held her, kissed her, loved her. 

Delia sat up. She needed to feel close to Patsy right now. She had no idea where her wife was and Patsy hadn’t sent her a message or tried to call her. Delia wasn’t surprised. She stood and slowly crept out of bed and down onto the corridor. She passed through the silent corridors and entered Patsy’s office. 

The sight that greeted her broke her heart. The room was in darkness but for Patsy’s desk lamp. Patsy herself was sat on the floor with her back against the wall, a glass in one hand as she stared at the wall ahead blankly. A bottle of whisky sat by her side, the contents almost all gone. Delia crept quietly towards her wife, slowly lowering herself down.

“Patsy.” She breathed.

“You should be in bed.” Patsy said, her voice a slur from the mix of exhaustion, emotion and alcohol. “Bed rest. I prescribed you bed rest.” She said slowly, taking another sip. 

Delia ignored her and instead moved to sit beside her wife. Patsy exhaled shakily.

“Patsy.” Delia whispered, removing the bottle and glass from her wife's hand before cupping Patsy’s cheek and tenderly pulling her face round so that their eyes could meet. “I love you.” 

At Delia’s utterance, Patsy’s walls completely broke down. She descended into sobs, so guttural and raw that Delia’s own tears soon began to cascade down her cheeks. Delia’s arms held her tight and firm. She pressed countless kisses into Patsy’s hair as the red-head struggled to breath with the intensity of her emotion. Both were locked in a vice-like grip. Eventually, the cries became less audible but the shake of the taller woman’s shoulders and the deep, shuddering breaths told Delia that she was still crying. Her voice was simply to hoarse to make an more sound.

“I’m here.” Delia promised. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry.” Patsy choked out. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I’m the one who should be apologising. Not you. You were just doing your job.” Delia murmured. 

She felt Patsy nod against her chest. They were silent for a few moments. Delia could practically feel the war inside of her wife as to whether or not to talk of her experience. She waited a few more moments before sighing, pressing another kiss to the top of Patsy’s head.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” Delia whispered, “Not yet.” 

“Yet?” Patsy was barely audible.

“You don’t have to talk to me Pats, but I do want you to speak to someone about it. Please, don’t keep this to yourself. It doesn’t have to be tonight but don’t let it haunt it you.” Delia pleaded, “I’m here for you… however you need me.” 

“I just need you.” Patsy breathed, sitting up and looking Delia in the eye. “You’re all I could think about. You and the baby.” She placed her hand gently over Delia’s still flat abdomen. “It was awful…”

She trailed off. Delia took a moment to look at her wife. She knew Patsy was in no fit state at all to talk about what she’d been through today, and so she decided to start with the practicalities. 

“Have you eaten?” 

“Not hungry.” Patsy responded.

“That’s not really an answer.” 

Patsy shook her head.

“You need to eat sweetheart.” Delia said gently, “Though what we’re gonna get at almost five in the morning is beyond me.” 

“I’m not hungry.”

“Patsy.” Delia sighed, “Just a little something. Please. If I order food from somewhere, will you at least try a bit?” 

“Deels, I don’t want it.”

“Do you still have your secret stash?” Delia asked. Patsy looked at her blankly. "Of lollipops, Haribo and whatever variety chocolate pack was on offer?" Delia added a joviality to her tone.

“Yes.” Patsy replied flatly not responding to Delia's attempt to lighten things. “But I don’t want sweet stuff.” 

“Alright.” Delia nodded, “How about that sandwich?” Delia pointed to the offending sandwich sticking out of Patsy’s handbag. “Even if you just have one bite.” 

Patsy nodded, watching as Delia reached for the sandwich and began to carefully unwrap it. Patsy couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from her wife. Almost as though the very sight of her was fuel enough. 

“Chicken Mayonnaise from M&S.” Delia commended with a nod, “Very nice.” 

“It was reduced.” Patsy stated, still trapped in a trance.

“Cheap-skate.” Delia winked, before handing one half to Patsy. “Just a bit Pats.” 

Slowly and gingerly, Patsy nibbled away at the sandwich as Delia held her. Eventually, the half was gone but when Delia offered the second, she shook her head. Delia, simply nodded, throwing it away and pulling Patsy back to her. She could feel Patsy’s head growing heavier and heavier, her whole body relaxing into Delia at long last.

“Pats, darling, we need to get up off the floor before you fall asleep.” 

“Hmm.” Patsy hummed.

“Come on… We’ll go back to my bed.”

At that Patsy’s eyes flashed open.

“Absolutely not.” She said tiredly, “My patients are not seeing me asleep in your bed.”

“We’ll find a spare delivery suite.” 

“There isn’t one.” Patsy yawned. “Every single room is occupied.”

“Fine, we’ll go home.”

“Delia-“

“You were going to release me this morning anyway. We’re going home, and we’re going to rest.” 

“I have work tomorrow… today… I mean…”

“You do not.” Delia said sternly, “You’re in no fit state.”

“I’m too drunk to care for you.” Patsy stated. “What if something goes wrong?”

“Patsy… stop worrying. Wait here. I’m going to get changed and discharge myself. I’ll message Patrick to let him know you won’t be in and then we’re going home, alright?”

Patsy simply nodded, too exhausted to argue. She watched as Delia stood up and made her way to the door. The shorter woman was about to open it when Patsy whimpered, calling her name. Delia spun back, expectantly.

“I love you, never doubt how much I love you.” Patsy implored.

Both smiled before Delia left the room. She made her way over to the Nurse’s station, startling as she noticed Chummy under the desk picking up nuts. 

“Delia!” Chummy grinned, coming out from under the desk, depositing her handful of nuts onto the remains of a burst bag, “Hello old thing. What are you doing here and why the devil are you in a gown?”

Of course. Chummy had been on holiday. This was her first day back. She had no idea of everything that had gone on. Delia thought it maybe just as well.

“Oh, I’m a patient… Patsy and I we’re expecting.” She smiled.

“Oh, I say that’s absolutely marvellous. Congratulations old bean!”

“Thank you.” Delia smiled, realising that Chummy was the first person to actually congratulate her. Everyone else had been so caught up in moment, that it almost felt as though she’d not been able to tell anyone at all. Everyone had just found out. It was nice, she realised, to be able to tell someone. “Chummy, I need to be discharged.”

“Shouldn’t Patsy or Patrick-“

“Patsy is in no fit state. She ended up working in the terror-“

“Oh.” Chummy breathed, “Of course, I’ll see to it right away. You go and get changed and I’ll have it all tickety-boo by the time you’re back.” 

“Thank you Chummy, you’re a life saver.” Delia said gratefully before dashing off to get changed.

She couldn’t wait to get home - but for entirely different reasons, than the ones she’d had this morning. It was going to be a long few days, and Patsy was going to need her - possibly more than she ever had before. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Patsy...
> 
> I hope you're all enjoying this. I promise that there will be some cute baby fluffiness soon - but the opportunity to really explore Patsy's emotions took a hold little! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading and a super huge thank you to everyone who comments. The comments really keep me motivated! x
> 
> Now... to catch up on all I've missed!


	23. Morning Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From night into morning. Patsy and Delia finally get home...

Delia changed quickly. By the time she’d gotten back, Chummy had sorted everything out and all that was left do was for Patsy to sign the final document. Delia took it, before quietly entering the office. Patsy was exactly how she’d left her, sat slumped on the floor staring at the same spot on the wall. She looked up as Delia entered, eyes full of fear before relaxing slightly. 

“Here.” Delia murmured, handing Patsy the papers and a pen, watching as she scribbled her name down. Delia stood, ready to leave when Patsy’s arm shot up, grabbing Delia’s hand. 

“Please don’t leave me.” Patsy whispered, voice raspy from emotion. Her words slurred together slightly due to the alcohol in her system. Delia’s heart broke as she bent down on her haunches.

“I’m not going anywhere. Come on, we can give these to Chummy on our way out.”

“I don’t want to see anyone.” 

“It’s only Chummy.” Delia promised, pulling Patsy up and grabbing her hand bag. Patsy took it, still chivalrous despite the circumstances. “Come on then.” 

They walked hand in hand out of Patsy’s office. Patsy’s grip was tight, almost uncomfortably so but Delia didn't let go. Instead she led her wife carefully to the desk where Chummy was sat, her hand never leaving Patsy’s as she handed the paper over. 

“I had a quick snoop on Uber to try and get you a cab but their prices are really rather expensive.” Chummy said, “But never fear, I’ve ordered you a rather pleasant taxi from a chap I found in The Yellow Pages.” 

“Thank you, Chummy.” Delia smiled. “We’ll see you later.” 

As Chummy had promised, a taxi was sat waiting outside the hospital for them. A round faced man greeted them, opening the back door for them. Delia gently removed her hand from Patsy’s signalling for her to climb in first. Patsy did so robotically, her hand reaching for Delia’s the minute she was in and had secured her seatbelt. 

“Where to ladies?” The man asked, his East end accent strong.

The journey didn’t take long, only fifteen minutes or so and the cabbie and Delia made small talk for the most part. It was as they were reaching their house that he asked what had them out so late. 

“Oh, well… We’ve had to work late…” Delia shrugged, “With everything going on…”

“I knew I recognised you.” He gasped, his eyes looking at Patsy in his rear view mirror as he pulled up in front of their flat. “You’re the lady who delivered the baby? The one who helped those two poor beggars out?”

“Yes.” Patsy said. No emotion to her voice.

“Well, thank you. On behalf of all us Londoners.” 

“It’s my job.” Patsy sounded absolutely spent. 

“How much?” Delia asked, intercepting any further questions.

“Nothing. Consider it my thank you.”

“If you’re sure?” Delia said unsurely. She wanted to pay the man, but she also wanted to get Patsy inside and to bed. She knew he wouldn’t back down and they’d easily spend all night arguing about the fare if she didn’t move. 

“Positive.” He beamed. “See you later.”

“Bye and thank you.” Delia said, before climbing out of the cab, her hand held out for Patsy who took it. 

Once inside, Delia led Patsy to their room. Patsy made to go straight to the bed and flop down but Delia halted her, unbuttoning her shirt. 

“Get into your pyjamas sweetheart, you’ll be more comfortable.” Delia said quietly. “Do you want a shower?” 

She continued to undress her wife who stood, a little like a scarecrow, not moving, her eyes glassy. She removed each item tenderly, kisses placed to pale skin in-between each one. Patsy hadn’t responded and so Delia decided not to push. She’d rather Patsy got some rest and had to change the bedding tomorrow than try and force a dazed Patsy into the shower. She carefully put her pyjamas on before pushing Patsy towards the bed, lying her down on her side before changing herself. She could see Patsy watching her.

“You’re alright, darling.” Delia whispered, as she climbed into bed, not surprised when Patsy immediately rolled towards her, arms squeezing tight. Delia pressed a kiss into Patsy’s hair as the older woman shook against her. “You’re alright.” 

“I’m scared.” 

“I know, I know…” Delia mumbled into Patsy’s hair, “But I’ve got you. You’re safe, I’m going to keep you safe, alright? You can sleep. I promise I won’t let you go.” 

“What if… the dream…” Patsy stammered. 

“I’ll be here.” Delia promised. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Patsy yawned, “Love you.” She repeated as her eyes grew heavier. 

Delia continued to rub soothing circles on Patsy’s arm and back, pressing kisses into her hair, until she was convinced that she’d fallen asleep. Delia sighed as she settled down to sleep, something told her that this was only the beginning and the real challenges would come later on when Patsy awoke and was faced with the realities of the day before. 

**—**

Patsy had slept through the night. She’d been fitful but hadn’t awoken and Delia was grateful. She assumed it was utter exhaustion they could thank for that. Delia, herself, however hadn’t slept quite so well and so when she awoke at eleven with the feeling of sickness that she was becoming rather familiar with, she didn’t think twice and bolted from their bed to the bathroom, only just making it in time. 

She leant her head on her arms, head bowed, not convinced she was finished. Her hunch was right. She felt tears begin to stream down her face. She’d known this would happen, but nothing could have prepared her for the absolute wretchedness of it all. Never again would she offer a patient an empty platitude of ‘it’ll be worth it in the end’ or such likes. At this moment in the time, nothing felt worth this. 

As she finished she felt a hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles. She sat up and turned to Patsy who with a sad half smile, reached over, flushed the toilet and then pulled Delia back towards her. They sat on the floor together, leant against the bath. Patsy pressed a gentle kiss into Delia’s hair pushing a bottle of water, appearing from what seemed like nowhere, into Delia’s hand who took a cautious sip. 

“Oh darling.” Patsy mumbled. “Are you alright?” 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Delia said weakly.

Patsy didn’t respond, just pressed another kiss into Delia’s hair. 

“You need rest.” Delia murmured.

“I need you.” Patsy replied. “And a shower. I absolutely need a shower.” 

“Pats-“

“Let me get you back to bed.” Patsy said, cutting her wife off. “Even if you just lie there… you don’t have to go back to sleep just-“

“Patsy.” Delia tried as Patsy pulled them both up to standing. “Patsy!" She said more firmly, spinning Patsy round to face her. 

“Later, Delia.” Patsy whispered. “Not now. Please, I just want a shower. I promise you I’m alright.” 

“Later.” Delia raised an eyebrow, her tone a mix of warning and promise. Patsy felt herself nodding. “Alright but let me brush my teeth.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update this. I've had a real lack of motivation recently so feel free to shout at me and make me update.
> 
> This chapter was originally longer but I've decided to cut it in half as the second half is quite heavy as Patsy comes to terms with everything that's happened. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it. Sorry it's such a slow burn!


	24. Scrub It Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy finally takes a shower whilst Delia continues to be supportive af as they both reflect.

The water had been black at first then grey then brown then a murky sort of sand colour. Dashes of red running through it here and there. Patsy had scrubbed and scrubbed trying to remove the horror of yesterday from her body. Eventually, having had enough and feeling as clean as she could, she’d jumped out the shower and wiped the mirror, staring at her reflection. 

She dropped the towel and stared. She could see bruising starting to take form on various parts of her body. Her collarbone, her arm, her leg, her back. Angry purple bruises. She pressed one and winced. Sore. She felt so sore. Her muscles screaming from over-exertion. Maybe, she should go to the gym with Delia. She pressed a hand to a cut on her forehead. It was small, wouldn’t scar, but it was a reminder of how close she’d been. 

She turned, slowly and gazed at the scars that travelled across her back and down. They were old, well worn and familiar. They were screaming too. Stress, exertion, pain. She touched one, following the line the best she could with her finger. They were reminders, reminders that she survived. Reminders that her Mother and Sister died and her Father, unable to even look at her, had sent her off to Boarding School. She may as well have lost him too. She’d been an orphan really, from that day. A generous deposit of money every month did not a Father make. She wondered if he’d seen her. She’d been on TV. She wondered if this affected him in the same way it affected her. She doubted it. He hadn’t been there. He hadn’t been on that train. He should have been… but he’d gone golfing instead. The bastard. 

Patsy closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about him. She didn’t want to think about that day. She shuddered. The sound was still so vivid. Bang. Except, it was more like a pop. Like a speaker being unplugged. But the shake… the shake of the carriage, the screams and the smell of burning metal. The little pieces of shrapnel pinging left, right and centre. Patsy gripped the sink, steadying her shaking body. 

It had smelt the same, yesterday. Death. Death smelt. Death stunk. Death. She had to stop thinking like this. Her Mother’s face, dead, flashed in her mind. She shook her head. Her Sister, Lily’s face as she finally slipped away. Patsy ran the cold water tap and splashed it onto her face. Bang. Pop. Bang. Pop. 

“Fuck you.” She whispered, eyes trailing upwards, “Fuck you all.” She breathed. 

She collected herself, placed her dressing gown back on and headed to the bedroom. She looked at Delia. In bed, reading. Delia looked up, placed the book down and opened her arms. Patsy galloped towards them, falling onto the bed and into her wife’s arms. Sobbing. 

Delia simply held her. Kisses pressed into damp locks. Hands roaming gently, pulling her closer and closer in an attempt to make her feel safe. Patsy’s tears eventually subsided but she remained locked in Delia’s embrace, unwilling to let go. 

“I…” 

“What, cariad?”

“I keep… I keep seeing it… them…” Patsy stammered. 

Delia remained silent for a few moments, ordering her thoughts. A part of her had no idea what to do to help Patsy but she knew she had to do something. The problem was, it all felt so empty. Patsy wasn’t just a medic who'd had to work in the aftermath of a terror attack, she was a survivor. She’d been just a child when she first saw the horrors of extremism. She’d been nine years old when she saw her mother and sister die. That day, Patsy had lost her family. Her Father, racked with guilt, had been unable to be the man he was once, the father he once was. He’d packed her off to boarding school, hoping a private eduction would make up for his short comings. The thought broke Delia’s heart - all Patsy really needed was love. She didn’t care for class, money, stature. She cared for people. She cared for making things right and being a good person. 

“They’d be so proud of you.” Delia whispered, her thoughts catching up. She wasn’t going to offer empty sayings - she knew Patsy hated them.

“Would they?” Patsy asked quietly.

“Yes.” Delia promised.

“Because I’m a doctor?”

“Because you’re you. You’re kind, caring, compassionate. You’re loving. You work everyday to help people, to make this world a better place. You’re funny, smart, beautiful. That’s not to say you aren’t a total pain in the arse at times but… you’re a good person Patsy, with a heart of pure gold and I feel proud to be your wife.” 

“I wish my Dad was proud… to be my Dad.” Patsy said after a few moments. “I never asked for it… and he was so good… before… Then he abandoned me. I don't know him… he doesn’t know me and he doesn’t know the best part of me.” 

“What?”

“You.” Patsy breathed, “He doesn’t know you.” 

“Patsy…” Delia sighed. “It’s never too late.”

“He didn’t come to wedding. That was his chance.” 

“But now he’s going to be a grandfather.” 

“Is he?” Patsy asked, looking up at her wife, “really?”

“Think about telling him Pats. I’m not saying you have to, it’s your choice but-“

“You think I should.” 

“I think yesterday reminded me how short life is and how precious.” 

Patsy was quiet. Delia decided not to push the matter any further. It was a miracle that her wife was talking at all and she knew that Patsy wouldn’t have found their conversation easy. She also knew that Patsy struggled more and more with her lack of family as she got older and particularly as they embarked on their own journey to start a family. She’d admitted it once, not long before they got married. 

_“My side of the Church is going to be really rather pitiful.” Patsy sighed, “I’ve one distant Aunt and I doubt she’ll make it.”_

_“Your Father-“_

_“Won’t come.” Patsy had been adamant. “I just… look at all these replies.” She’d gestured to the RSVP slips in front of them. “Your entire family is going to be there even your cousins are all coming. I can’t even get my Father to show up and…” Patsy paused. “I guess I just want someone to be there for me. To see me achieve this milestone. When I was younger, I didn’t care. I was alone and that was fine. I almost wore my loneliness like a badge of honour. I didn’t need anyone. Then, I met you.”_

_“And you realised you couldn’t live without me?” Delia had winked._

_“Something like that.” Patsy had chuckled, “And suddenly I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I want to be surrounded by love and I want someone who’s known me all my life watch me hit my milestones. I want someone who brought me into this world to see me marry the love of my life. Suddenly, family matters.”_

_“Patsy.” Delia had breathed, “I can’t begin to imagine what you went through but know this, you do have a family and there won’t be any ‘sides’ at the wedding. My family_ _is_ _your family. This just makes it all official.”_

_“I know that. But it still hurts Deels.”_

Delia was brought back to the present by Patsy.

“I’ll send him a letter.” She murmured, “Then it’s up to him isn’t it?” 

“You’ll have tried cariad.” Delia smiled, “Which is all that you can do.” 

Patsy nodded, her hand moving to cover Delia’s stomach. She rubbed her thumb gently, evidently lost in thought. Delia eventually covered her wife’s hand with her own. She felt Patsy smile. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Patsy said quietly, “Whether he replies or not.” 

Delia waited patiently as Patsy turned onto her side slightly, looking at Delia. 

“Because I’ve got everything I need right here.” 

Delia was powerless to stop the smile that spread across her face and leant down to kiss Patsy gently. A promise - that she’d always be there. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading - I hope you're all still liking it.
> 
> And a super big thank you to everyone who comments. They really keep me going!


	25. Dealing in Confectionary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy goes to see Tim but Delia is worried she's putting on a front.

After a couple of hours simply lying together, Delia had eventually got up citing that she desperately needed a shower. Patsy, much calmer, had nodded getting up herself and dressing in comfortable clothes before heading out. When she returned with two cake boxes, Delia frowned. 

“What are they?”

“Eclairs.” Patsy shrugged, “I’m going to go round to see Tim.”

“Patsy-“

“Delia, he’s young. I can help him.”

“And who’s going to help you?” Delia asked gently, leaning on the kitchen table.

“You.” Patsy smiled moving towards her wife and placing her hands on her hips. 

“This has affected you a lot Patsy, don’t pretend it hasn’t.”

“I’m not.” Patsy promised, slipping her hands from Delia’s hips to wrap around her waist instead and pull her closer, “But, I’ve been through this before. I want to let him know he’s not alone. That he can talk to me. I want him to know that it is perfectly fine not to be ok.” Patsy sighed, “I put on a front when I was nine years old and I kept it on until I was into my twenties. No-one told me it was ok to cry, to feel, to be hurt. If I can stop Tim going through that then I will.”

“What if he is ok?”

“Then I’ll be very glad and I’ll simply thank him for his help.” Patsy shrugged. “Delia, I need to be useful.”

“I know you do.” Delia relented, “Fine. Let me get my coat and I’ll come with you.” 

Patsy didn’t move though, her hands fiddling with her wife’s T-Shirt. 

“Patsy, I kinda need you to let me go.” 

“I booked an appointment.”

“What?”

“With Julienne.” 

“Oh.”

“To you know, talk about things.” 

“I’m glad.” Delia smiled, “and very proud. I know that must have taken a lot of courage.”

“Maybe but it didn't feel like it.” Patsy replied, one hand moving to Delia’s stomach. “Because of you.” She smiled, “And because of someone else.” She admitted, rubbing her hand gently. “I want to be a good Mum.”

“You will be.” Delia smiled, “You already are.” 

“And that means not holding back. It means doing the things that scare me the most. It means opening up and letting go of my past, dealing with it. Not just pretending it didn’t happen.”

“If twenty year old Delia could hear you now.” Delia chuckled, “She wouldn't believe her ears.”

“Twenty four year old Patsy would be horrified.” Patsy laughed before moving back, “Come on, let’s go see Tim.”

—

Shelagh was surprised to see Patsy and Delia on her doorstep. She’d expected Patsy to be at home, resting and recuperating but instead, here she was with a sad smile, tired eyes and a concerned looking Delia. 

“Hello Shelagh.” Patsy greeted her friend, “I wondered if Tim was in? I wanted to thank him and see how he was.”

“He is. He’s in the garden, feel free to go see him. He’s very quiet… He says he’s alright but-“

Patsy nodded and patted Shelagh’s forearm, moving past the short Scot. Delia followed Shelagh through to the kitchen, both watched as Patsy sat on the grass beside the young boy. 

“How is she?” Shelagh asked.

“She’s… not as bad as I thought…” Delia said carefully, “She had her moment and now she seems intent on giving them all two fingers. The problem is I’m not sure if that’s how she actually feels or just one big front.” 

Outside, Patsy withdrew a cigarette. She glanced backwards, noticing Shelagh lead Delia out of the kitchen where they could be seen and into what she assumed would be the living room. She lit the cigarette quickly before offering it to Tim. He shook his head.

“You shouldn’t smoke.”

“No, and I’m very glad you refused. As your former Akela I’m very proud. Still, old habits die hard.” 

“I think you deserve one. As long as it is just one. They kill you, you know.”

“I know.”

“And you need to stick around.” Tim told her. “Your kid is going to need you.”

Patsy stubbed out the cigarette and slid it back into the packet. “I consider myself thoroughly told off.”

“Good. I’m glad the guilt tripping worked. It always does.” He beamed cheekily before returning his gaze to the garden. 

They sat in silence for a few moments until Patsy broke it, “Tim, I want to thank you for all you did yesterday. You should be very proud. You showed a real professionalism and above all? A true sense of bravery and compassion. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Yes you could.” 

“No, I couldn’t. You got that baby out safe. I’d have had to make a very hard decision.” 

“But you didn’t.” 

“No.” Patsy smiled, “How do you feel?” She asked after a quiet moment.

“Fine.”

“Tim… I’m not going to lecture you and I’ll only say this once but, if you’re not fine, it’s ok.” Patsy took a breath, “Yesterday was hard for everyone, even the hardest faced senior consultant was affected by what happened. Please, please don’t bottle up your feelings. Talk to someone if you feel even the slightest bit off. I promise you it won’t make you any weaker, in fact, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Tim sat quietly, absorbing the Doctor’s words. He could see her fingers twitching, evidently an old tick from when she used to smoke frequently. He glanced at her. Patsy Mount had been his first crush. In fact, she’d probably been every young boy’s first crush. He remembered a distinct devastation when they all met Delia and discovered that the two were dating. He smirked as he thought about it. Patsy? Really. It was beyond obvious wasn’t it? Still, his crush on her aside (which has lasted about a week until he fell in love with Freda McDermott next door), Patsy Mount had always been an important person in his life. She’d taught him more than he could probably remember and had always, always been there. The fact she was here now, in a moment that felt so dark, seemed fitting.

“It was the smell.” Tim said quietly, “I mean, it wasn’t nice to see but I could deal with that. I think I expected that. I kind of got myself psyched for what a terror scene might look like or sound like but I never imagined how it might smell. I wonder if it’s because of movies and games. We can see things through them, hear a soundtrack and even feel the controller vibrate but they can’t give us a sense of how anything smells can they? We don’t think about that.” 

Patsy nodded, amazed as always at the insight that Tim seemed to have. Since being a young boy, he’d always been bright, intelligent and warm. He’d inherited his father’s compassion and need to do good and combined with Shelagh’s warm nature, he’d thrived. She’d always had a soft spot for him. She’d argued numerous times that as Akela she didn’t have favourites but she’d been lying. The cheeky, clever young man in front of her had always been top of the list. 

“I know what you mean. It’s strange. It’s the thing I remember most.” Patsy sighed, “From yesterday and from before.”

“I can’t believe you could even go down there.” 

“This isn’t about me Tim.” Patsy reflected with a wave of her hand, “It’s about you. Remember that you’re surrounded by people who care about you, who love you and will help you.”

“I know that. I just… I don’t want to talk about it to my Mum… or to my Dad.” Tim shrugged, “It’s nice to talk to you about it. You understand you’ve been there but… I don’t know.”

“Tim you can always talk to me but remember there’s people out there who can help you, who are trained… I’m going to see your Aunt Julienne.”

“You are?”

“Yes.” Patsy smiled, “Don’t get me wrong, five years ago I wouldn’t have but… it’s not just about me anymore. There’s Delia, the baby and I need to be the best version of myself I can be even if that means talking about the hard things.” 

They fell into silence. Patsy allowed the boy a moment, watching him as he chewed over her words. Satisfied, she’d done her bit, she reached into the bag she’d brought with her, withdrawing the two cake boxes and handing one of them to Tim. He opened it, eyes lighting up as he noticed the eclairs before smirking.

“Dad’s always said that you deal in confectionary.” Tim chuckled, “What’s the current exchange rate in the world of confectionary currency?”

“Hard work, bravery and general awesomeness earns you one eclair.” Patsy smirked, glad to hear Tim’s wit. She paused for a moment. “Gosh, I do deal in confectionary.”

“Dad says you buy donuts when you’ve been a bit rude to your staff.” Tim winked as he stood up, “And you buy cream cakes as rewards.”

“Well then,” Patsy stood up too, “Be thankful I didn’t bring you donuts. Come on, I’m sure your Mum and Delia wouldn’t say no to an eclair.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone who is reading and commenting and leaving kudos! Your lovely feedback is really keeping me going and so glad you're all liking the little diversion into Patsy's past. I promise there is plenty of Pupcake baby fluff to come! x


	26. Tiger Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for a loooooooong chapter as Patsy heads back to work.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Delia for the millionth time this morning, I’m fine!” Patsy sighed exasperated as she flung a banana into her handbag. She turned as she felt Delia’s penetrating gaze upon her, huffing when she noticed the look of concern (and slight annoyance) hadn’t left her wife’s features. “I promise you, I’m alright.” 

“I’m just worried about you, cariad.” 

Patsy smiled closing the distance between them and wrapping Delia in her arms. 

“I know but really, there’s no need to be.” Patsy promised. “Would it make you feel better if I rang you at lunch time?” 

“You’ll ring me at lunch time anyway.” Delia smirked. “Just take it easy Pats.” 

“We do work in the same place, right?” Patsy joked, “Taking it easy isn’t generally an option.”

“You know what I mean, no heroics.” 

“Scouts honour.” Patsy promised, “What about you? What are you going to do all day?”

“Be bored.” Delia pouted. 

“It’s only for a few more days… just think of the reward at the end of it all.” Patsy smiled, her hand rubbing gently over Delia’s midriff. “You’re getting a little bump now.” 

“Am I?” Delia asked, pulling her T Shirt up, she grinned, “I suppose I am.” 

“I should go.” Patsy whispered, “I love you.” She murmured.

“I love yo-“ Delia stopped as Patsy bent down and pressed a kiss to her (barely there) bump. “Hey…”

“What?” Patsy smirked looking up, “I do love them.” She laughed at Delia’s raised eyebrows, “and I love you too.” She added, “Very, very much.” 

“Hmm… good save.” Delia smirked. 

“See you later.” Patsy smiled, quickly kissing Delia on the lips before leaving. 

As she closed the door to the flat she released a deep breath. She rummaged in her bag, removing a pair of trainers before swapping them with her heels. 

—

Trixie yawned as she stood outside. It had been a late night and an early start. Patsy’s absence had left a hole in their usually smooth-running ward and whilst Trixie would never have expected Patsy to come in yesterday, it had rather scuppered her plans of catching up on some sleep. She wondered how she was. She’d decided against texting her instead opting to send Delia a quick message who had assured her Patsy would be fine. How Trixie hated that word though - fine. No one was ever fine. Fine was code for rotten. 

Fine would be exactly how she’d describe the Patsy she could see walking towards her now. The usually polished woman looked bothered and dishevelled - almost as though she’d run a marathon to get here and were those? Surely not.

“Trainers? What did you do run here?” Trixie asked.

“I fancied a walk.” Patsy deflected. “I thought the air might do my skin some good.”

“Your skin?” 

“I look like I’ve not slept in a week.” Patsy sighed, pulling her heels out of her bag and replacing them with her trainers. “I just fancied the walk.”

“But that’s easily a forty five minute journey.” 

“Delia wants me to exercise more.”

“So Delia knows you walked to work?”

“No.” 

“Why not?”

“Trixie.” 

“You don’t want to get the Tube do you?” 

“Of course I do.”

“So if I text Delia-“

“No!” 

Trixie raised her eyebrows.

“I’m just not ready.” Patsy admitted. “But Delia has enough to worry about without worrying about me. She needs to focus on her and baby.”

“Patsy-“ Trixie breathed.

“I’m going to see Julienne-” Patsy intercepted. 

“Patsy, it’s totally understandable-“

“Don’t make a fuss over me, Trix.” Patsy pleaded, “Just… can you treat me… normal?” 

“I’m not pretending this didn’t happen.” Trixie said stubbornly. “But I get that it’s raw… just… be careful Patsy…”

“I am being. I promise I am.” 

“Alright.” Trixie smiled. “But I’m watching you Patience Mount.”

“Don’t ‘Patience’ me Trixie…”

“Don’t do anything to warrant it then.”

The friends smiled at one another before walking into the hospital. Patsy sighed, breathing in the familiar scent and absorbing the sounds. Everything felt so much more normal now she was here surrounding by the place she knew best. As they walked onto the ward, Patsy finally felt calm. People were rushing about but somehow still serene. Phyllis was barking orders and Chummy was picking things up off the floor - evidently having just dropped them. Winifred was playing with a couple of children and Barbara was sucking on a lollypop as she filled in some notes. Everyone else, Patsy assumed was working with Mothers.

“Dr Mount. It is good to see you.” Phyllis called, noticing Patsy. “I assume you are well rested?”

“Yes. Thank you Nurse Crane.” 

“Excellent. Mrs Davies is in… everything seems to be in order but given her history-“

Patsy smiled and nodded… this, right here, was exactly what she needed. To be treated as she always had been and to get herself straight back into work. She noticed the student Delia had spoken to the day of the attack lingering in the background eyeing her with some uncertainty. Patsy smiled at her, beckoning her over.

“Nurse Crane would you be so kind as to find Mrs Davies’ notes and hand them to Student Doctor Jones here please.” 

Almost seamlessly and immediately the older woman had them. Patsy smirked slightly. Phyllis ran a tight ship and her filing system was world-class. It was one of the many ways the two had bonded over all those years ago.

“I want you to look over the notes for Mrs Davies carefully and then examine her.”

“Examine her?” The young girl asked nervously.

“Yes.” 

“But… Are you sure?” 

“I’m positive. You’re a promising young Doctor. Watching me do examinations is all well and good, helping in routine births is all well and good too but something tells me you’d benefit from a little hands on experience of something a little more complicated.” 

“I just…”

“Trust in your ability.” Patsy said warmly, “I’ll be with you every step of the way and Phyllis will be present at the birth.”

“The birth?” The student squeaked.

“Read the notes.” Patsy instructed calmly, “I need to nip to my office and then I’ll come back and get you.” Patsy sighed as she saw the clear signs of internal panicking. “Relax. You’ll be fine. I promise you.” 

Patsy nodded at Phyllis before wandering down the corridor to her office. She opened the door quickly before closing it. She leant against it. Images of the last time she was in here bombarding her mind. She sighed and withdrew her phone. Delia’s smiling face beamed back at her from the lock screen. She ran her finger tenderly down the screen before unlocking it, finding her WhatsApp conversation with Delia.

**‘I love you.’**

She hit send. Two seconds later her phone buzzed.

_‘You soft git._

_I love you too._

_Wait, it’s not dinnertime yet is it?’_

**“No. Just thought I’d let you know.”**

_‘Is everything alright?’_

**‘I promise you all is well. How are you feeling? Any more sickness?’**

_‘Just once.’_

Patsy sighed, she now knew how all expectant partners felt. 

**‘I wish I could help you.’**

_‘Part of the fun I’m afraid.’_

**‘I should go and do some work.’**

_‘Have a nice day Pats._

_Oh, and we need bread.’_

**‘Ok’**

Patsy was about to put her phone away when it buzzed again. She rolled her eyes as she read the message.

_‘Not just any bread though!’_   
****

**‘What bread do you want?’**

_‘Tiger bread.’_

**‘Tiger bread? Ok… is this your first craving?’**

_‘No… I just really want some. Anyway, go back to work.’_

Patsy smirked, slipping her phone away and exiting her office. She could see her young charge reading the notes of their patient carefully and thoroughly. When she saw Patsy she startled. She was a bundle of nerves. Patsy sighed, she remembered being in the young student’s shoes.

“So, ready?” Patsy asked warmly.

“I… yes.” 

“Lucy, you will be fine.” Patsy smiled forgetting her usual formality. “Now come on, let’s get to it.”

-

Delia stood in front of the mirror in her and Patsy’s bedroom. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t do this and that she would in fact get some cleaning done but all her efforts so far bad been futile. She ran her hands over her stomach, twisting to her side in order to see the almost unnoticeable change in shape. Ever since Patsy had pointed it she couldn’t help but admire it. A couple of months ago all of this had seem so far away. She smiled as she heard her phone ringing. 

“Hello Pats.” She answered without even looking at the caller ID. Patsy was a creature of habit and Delia knew that given the time, this would be her lunch time phone call.

“Hello Deels.” Patsy replied. Delia was pleased to note she sounded particularly jolly.

“How’s it going?” 

“Good.” Patsy responded. “Julienne has just collared me though. Wants me to see her this afternoon instead of tomorrow.” 

“Are you going?”

“Yes.” Patsy sighed, sounding slightly less enthusiastic. “I don’t want to but I’m going.”

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” 

“I was wondering…”

“Yes?”

“If you’d meet me? After work? I’m seeing Julienne at five.”

“Of course cariad, I’ll get there for about six.” Delia responded.

“I’ll take you for dinner.” Patsy bargained. Delia sighed, she knew Patsy well enough to recognise embarrassment and reminding the older woman it was misplaced would not ease Patsy’s mind.

“I look forward to it. Do I get to know where we are going?” 

“Nope… although if you have anything you don’t want to eat or can’t eat…”

“Nothing spicy, cariad.” Delia advised, “Your child doesn’t like it.” 

“My child?” Patsy asked amused.

“Yes.”

“You mean our child?”

“No yours. They’re yours when they’re being naughty.”

“Naughty?” Patsy chuckled, “From inside the womb?”

“Yes, because I could absolutely murder a vindaloo… but given that I can’t even manage Lightly Spiced Wedges right now…”

“Duly noted.” Patsy couldn’t keep the smirk (or affection) out of her voice. “I should go.”

“Yes, go eat.” Delia demanded, “I’ll see you at six.”

“See you later Deels.” Patsy paused, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Delia responded, heart warmed as she ended the call. They weren’t a couple who had to tell each other continuously that they loved one another. They didn’t do it at the end of every phone call like many of their friends did. No, they just knew. Suddenly though, the words were important. Hearing Patsy tell her she loved her made her feel… well… fuzzy. Delia shook her head, maybe they were like their friends these days… Patsy’s text from earlier and now her ending the call with a declaration of love. Delia smiled sadly, something told her that the sudden need to say the words had everything to do with the accident and she hoped that Julienne would be able to help Patsy past it. 

-

Patsy’s afternoon had flown by and her appointment with Julienne had come around much sooner than she had hoped it would. A part of her wanted to turn and run and do what she’d always done - bottle her feelings up, throw the bottle in a box, lock the box and throw away the key but then Delia’s face would enter her mind and Patsy realised that she could no longer do that. She sighed as she picked up her bags, a loaf of tiger bread perching awkwardly on top - Delia and the baby needed her and beyond that this ward needed her. They needed her on top form and if that meant a difficult conversation with Julienne then so be it. 

As Patsy locked her office she noticed Lucy, the student doctor, walking down the corridor. She smiled. Lucy was a natural talent and her warmth and humour made her popular with patients too. Her handling of the examination this afternoon had been exemplary and Patsy realised that she’d miss the young doctor when her placement ended next week. 

“You did well today, Lucy.” Patsy smiled, stopping the student before she could walk by. 

“Oh… thank you, Dr Mount.” Lucy blushed slightly, her head dipping to hide the colour flooding her cheeks.

“Don’t be embarrassed by good work.” Patsy lightly scolded.

“I’m not used to compliments.” Lucy laughed shyly, “Or accepting them…”

Patsy smirked slightly, “Well the more you receive the better you’ll get. Although don’t expect too many out of me. I’ve got an image to maintain.” She winked. “Can’t have you going back and telling the next student to wander on to these wards I’m a soft touch.” 

“Of course not.” 

“Now off you go.” Patsy smiled, checking her watch and noticing the minute hand was moving closer and closer to twelve. “See you in the morning.”

“Thank you Dr Mount.” The student smiled before skipping off.

Patsy nodded, before turning left. She stopped in front of Julienne’s door. She paused. Knocked and entered.

“Good evening, Dr Mount.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone still reading and especially commenting! It truly keeps me going and I love hearing what you think :) x


	27. What I've Got...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy meets Delia after her meeting with Julienne and tells her of her new realisations.

Patsy almost fainted in relief when she saw Delia stood outside the hospital. Her meeting with Julienne had been long, hard and painful and she’d had to talk about things she’d rather not. Despite the emotional turmoil of the meeting though she felt strangely relieved to have spoken to someone about it and in a strange way felt both lighter and heavier for getting it off her chest. Right now though, all she wanted was Delia.

“Hello cariad.” Delia greeted as the red head walked towards her, accepting the hug Patsy gave her, “How was it?”

“Hard.” Patsy admitted with a wry smile, “But I did it.”

“And how do you feel?” 

“It’s weird.” Patsy frowned as she linked her arm with Delia’s, walking them out of hospital grounds and down the street. “I can’t really put a finger on it. I feel lighter in one sense and I do feel better for talking.”

“But?” Delia probed sensing Patsy wasn’t finished.

“But, I also feel heavier. It’s a lot to talk about and it dredged up my past. I had to talk about Mum and Gracie and my Father.” Patsy shrugged, “I realised once I’d got started that the main problem wasn’t the bombing, now or then. It’s more that it reminded me what I don’t have, what I’m missing out on.” 

“I wish I could change things for you Pats.” Delia sighed. 

“You did change things for me.” Patsy smiled warmly, “You changed my entire life.”

Delia couldn't help but smile at that.

“But you’re alright?”

“The thing is Deels.” Patsy sighed, pulling them to a halt, “Is, it’s not like last time. I’ve not lost everything that I know or hold dear. It’s not like my teens when I was haunted by my sexuality, adolescence and an absent Father. It’s not like my early twenties where I had to try and force down my walls in order to let you in. You see all those times I was always thinking about what I’d lost, what I didn’t have whereas now things are different.“ Patsy took Delia’s hands in hers. “Because I have you. I have our baby. It’s not about me and what I don’t have. It’s about you, the baby and what I do have. I’ve so much to live for Deels and my past, no matter how awful, won’t stop me from living it. The only way they win is if I give up, and I refuse to let that happen.”

Delia glanced around the road and noticing it was empty, pulled Patsy by the lapels of her coat towards her. She crashed their lips together, pouring all her love for her wife into that one kiss. As she pulled away she wiped her eyes. Patsy’s heartfelt speech had reminded Delia just how far her wife had come since they’d met at University all those years ago. Looking at the woman in front of her, Delia felt a swell of pride and a feeling of love so strong that she couldn't even begin to try and describe it. 

“Where are you taking me for dinner then?” Delia asked hoarsely. 

“The Gun.” Patsy responded. “You don’t mind walking there do you?”

“No but it’s a bit of a trek.” Delia shrugged, “Aren’t you tired? The Tube is only-“

“I’m fine. But if you don't want to walk how about the bus. I just want to appreciate what’s left of the day.” Patsy smiled. “You don’t get to see much of London on the underground.”

“No we can walk.” Delia shook her head before noticing Patsy’s bag. “Oh my god, you got it!” 

“What?”

“Tiger bread.” 

“I think I know where they got the inspiration for the heart eye emoji from.” Patsy chuckled as Delia grabbed the loaf and ripped into it, taking a bite and humming in delight. 

“It’s delicious.” 

Patsy chuckled as she watched her wife eat at the loaf. No butter, no nothing, just bread. Patsy shook her head and began to walk. She decided not to mention the fact that Delia had for the past three years eaten almost exclusively wholemeal and granary bread. Instead, she opted for a different tactic.

“Delia, I know you’re enjoying the tiger bread and I know it’s not a craving.”

“It isn’t!” 

“I know… but maybe you should save a bit for when we go home. You’re not going to want a meal if you stuff yourself with a full loaf of bread.” 

Delia sheepishly handed the loaf back to Patsy who placed it back in the bag. Patsy couldn’t help it and began to giggle and before long Delia was too. They couldn’t help but laugh as they made their way down the roads of London. Until…

“Patsy… we need to hurry up.”

“We’re almost there.” Patsy responded. Her feet were really starting to kill. She wish she’d put her trainers on. 

“I know but I need the loo…”

Patsy laughed again and knowing they were close to the pub, held her hand out to Delia.

—

Later, after a quick meal at The Gun, Patsy and Delia were led in bed together. Delia had her arm flung over Patsy’s waist, her head resting on her chest and Patsy held her tightly around the shoulders, pressing kisses into the Welsh woman’s hair every now and then. Delia swallowed. She knew that Patsy was content and a part of her didn’t want to risk ruining the little haven they’d created for themselves. After all, Patsy had had a tough day and she’d done well to come out of the session with Julienne as well as she had. But, she couldn’t bare to keep something from her wife.

“Pats?”

Patsy hummed in response. A sign she was listening. 

“I saw Patrick when I was at the hospital waiting for you.” Delia paused. Patsy pressed a kiss to the top of her head, a silent plea to continue, “I asked him about going back to work.”

“And?”

“He said I’d be alright. Could start the day after tomorrow.” Delia replied, her attitude slightly more coy than usual.

Patsy sighed deeply, “Do you feel ready?”

“Yes.”

Patsy nodded, pressing another kiss to Delia’s hair, “But darling, do me one favour?”

“What?” Delia asked, turning slightly so she could look up at her wife. 

“Be careful. Take it easy. I know you thrive on ‘getting stuck in’ but please don’t take any risks.” Patsy pleaded, “I know you won’t but please… I just… I can’t lose you.” She moved her hand to rest on Delia’s bump, “Either of you.” 

Delia pushed herself up and gently cupped Patsy’s cheek.

“You won’t.” Delia whispered, “I promise.”

They kissed - deep, long and slow. Both smiled as they pulled away, Delia shuffling back down to rest against Patsy. This was, Delia thought, was perfection. 

Patsy’s mind, however, was whirling. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to each and every one of you reading and especially to those of you who take the time to comment, leave kudos or message me. It really does mean a lot. 
> 
> We're very close now to some super cute baby milestones... I'm having the most fun writing them! x


	28. Alternatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Julienne force Patsy to face up to her troubling secret ahead of Delia returning to work but Patsy's idea of solving the problem isn't quite what they had in mind...
> 
> So this was originally a really long chapter but I've split in two...

“Trixie - what am I going to do?”

Trixie sighed as she watched Patsy take a drag of her cigarette. The red head had sought her best friend out at lunch time and Trixie had dragged her to the peace garden and offered her a drag of her cigarette as she lit up. 

“Why can’t you just tell Delia? She’s stronger than she looks.” Trixie replied, taking the cigarette back from Patsy who had begun pacing.

“Because I don't want her worrying about me.” Patsy grumbled, “And I know she will and she’ll start to wrap me in cotton wool when it should be the other way around.” 

“Patsy-“

“And I can’t just say, ‘hey Deels, let’s walk to work’ - she’s pregnant! It’s too far.” 

“Don’t let her hear you say that!” 

“Trixie you’re not helping!” Patsy whined. Trixie was struggling not to smirk, Patsy looked like a two year old having a tantrum. 

“Sweetie, I don’t really know what you want me to say or do.” Trixie replied with a shrug, “I’ll take you on the Tube if you like after work?”

“You’re going out with Christopher.” Patsy shook her head, “No. Look, I’ll be fine.”

“He won’t mind if I ask him to make it later.” 

“You’re a true friend, Trix. I don’t know what I’d do without you, but I know that you and Christopher have been struggling to meet up so please, don’t do that.” Patsy responded, “I just need to either tell her or get a grip.” 

“Or you need to go and see Julienne.” Trixie suggested, “You know she’ll see you.”

“I…” Patsy stopped, “I suppose she probably would.” 

“Come on, I’ll take you to her office myself.” Trixie held out her hand to Patsy who smiled, stood and took it, allowing Trixie to lead her away.

-

Patsy smiled gratefully as Julienne placed the cup of tea (well sugared apparently) down in front of her, a custard cream perching on the edge of saucer. She took a sip, buying herself a moment to compose her thoughts and think about how she approached the issue.

“Whenever you’re ready Patsy.” Julienne said softly.

Patsy liked Julienne. She always had done. Julienne was actually the Ward Sister but had qualifications in psychology too and was in charge of staff well-being. She was a woman full of warmth and compassion who always seemed to have an open door for anyone. She was religious, deeply so, but never seemed to force it on anyone and she had always been accepting of Patsy and Delia’s relationship. She’d even gone with Patsy (and Trixie) to shop for wedding outfits. 

“I’m sorry I’m back so soon.” Patsy smiled tiredly, “I thought I’d covered it all but-“

“You know my door is always open to you.” 

“Thank you.” Patsy took a breath, “The thing is… Delia is coming back to work.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Petrified.” Patsy admitted, “But not the for the reason you think.”

“Go on…”

“Since… I’ve not been able to… that is. I’ve been walking everywhere or getting the bus, even getting an Uber here and there.” Patsy took a moment, “I can’t bring myself to get on the Tube. I haven’t told Delia and…I don’t want her to worry.”

“It’s perfectly understandable.” Julienne spoke in a warm, peaceful tone that instantly calmed the younger woman, “My advice generally to people is to try and get back into a normal routine but I can see that you’re already getting on with that. I wonder if you’re routine has been normal for some time though.”

“Not since we decided to have a baby.” Patsy chuckled, “It’s been a crazy few months.”

“For you both.” Julienne responded, “And it’s ok to have emotions. The thing is, I think you need to trust Delia.” 

“I do!”

“By not trying to protect her. Delia is a strong and very sensible young woman. You both love each other very deeply, that much has been obvious from day one but because of it you seem hell bent on protecting each other to the extent where you don’t communicate properly.” Julienne took a breath, “I’ve seen you get better over the years, both of you. You need to continue that openness Patsy. Neither of you needs protecting, you need to work together to overcome your fears. That, my dear girl, is what I think will help you.” 

Patsy nodded, “I just can’t bear the thought of losing her.” She swallowed the emotion creeping upon her, “I don’t think I could live without her. She’s… everything.” 

“We can’t control everything though, Patsy, sometimes we just have to trust in God… or ourselves…”

“What if I freeze when I get there?” 

“There’s always an alternative. Take your time. Start with just standing outside, then in the foyer, then onto the platform. Let Delia guide you.” 

Patsy nodded and offered the older woman a watery smile. She’d tell Delia, she decided but before that, she’d had a little idea.

—

“Christ Patsy….” Trixie breathed as she sat beside her friend, “Delia will kill you.”

“We’re going to need it.” Patsy refuted.

“When Julienne said there were alternatives, I don’t think she meant this.” Trixie grumbled, “Although it is gorgeous.” 

“And her favourite colour!” Patsy beamed. “Sorry to keep you from Christopher.”

“You’re not. He’s picking me up. He wants to see what you’ve bought.” 

“He’ll approve.” Patsy smirked. “I know it.”

At that moment, the dentist walked through the doors. Spotting them, he waved and made his way slowly over. Whistling as he took in his surroundings.

“What’ve you gone for Patsy?” He asked, pressing a kiss to Trixie’s cheek. 

“It’s outside.” She beamed, “The Yellow Q2.” 

“Yellow?” He laughed.

“Delia’s favourite colour.” 

“Let’s hope it’s enough to stop her killing you for buying a bloody Audi without consulting her.” Trixie responded.

“Darling, if someone bought me a car I’d be worshipping the ground they walk on… especially an Audi…” Chris chuckled.

“But you love cars!” 

“So does Delia!” Patsy refuted.

“Right, all sorted. We’ll deliver it tomorrow.” The salesman said as he returned. 

Trixie shook her head. This was not going to end well…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up shortly in which Patsy continues to deal with her problem (and where Delia may or may not find out!)


	29. Getting To The Crux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia finds out about the car... and gets to the crux of the problem.

Delia eyed Patsy suspiciously. Something was going on, her wife was almost certainly up to something, and Delia couldn’t quite decide whether it was going to be something good or bad. The red head seemed to flit from nervous to excited and had cleaned the entire bathroom - twice - and it wasn’t even ten in the morning. 

“Patsy, what are you up to?” Delia asked.

“Cleaning!” She said, a little too brightly.

“What’ve you done?” Delia eyed the taller woman with suspicion. 

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve definitely done something.” 

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re answering all my questions with a question.” Delia folded her arms, sternly.

“Am I?”

The Welsh woman could only raise an eyebrow. She was about to speak when the doorbell rang. Patsy, jumped up.

“I’ll get it!” 

“Patsy!” Delia called after her wife as she clambered her way past Delia and to the door. 

Before Delia could catch up with her, Patsy had shut the door behind her, running off down to the front of their flat. Delia frowned as crossed her arms, staring at the closed door. What was Patsy up to?

When Patsy reentered moments later, Delia hadn't moved. Her foot was tapping, her arms were crossed and her expression was one Patsy hadn’t seen since she’d left boarding school. Patsy swallowed. Maybe Trixie had been right, maybe this wasn’t her brightest idea? Then again, the car was yellow so…

“Delia, I’ve got you something.” Patsy grinned, “Well us, something.” 

“Right.”

“It’s outside.” 

“Why?” Delia questioned.

“Just is.” Patsy walked up behind Delia and placed her hands over her eyes, she nudged the smaller woman gently, “Humour me.” She murmured, waddling forward with Delia.

“Patsy-“

“Shush.” Patsy murmured, somehow managing to open the front door with one arm and tenderly helping Delia outside onto the street. She took a deep breath, sent a silent prayer to a God she didn’t believe in and removed her hand from Delia’s eyes, “Surprise.”

Delia gawked. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide. It couldn’t be? Patsy surely hadn’t bought a…

“A car?” Delia squeaked.

“An Audi Q2. Apparently very good in the city and plenty of room for prams.” Patsy informed her, gritting her teeth hopefully.

“Patsy, we can not afford an Audi.” Delia replied.

“We can.” Patsy refuted, waving her hand. 

“Patsy, you should have discussed this with me first.” Delia reprimanded.

“It’s your favourite colour.” Patsy winced, her tone hopeful.

“We’re meant to make big decisions, _like getting a car,_ together.” 

“I know, I know but I wanted to surprise you and give you something for being so… amazing.”

“As charming as that is, and as much as I do love the car.” Delia raised a hand as she noticed a grin start to form on her wife’s face, “I don’t believe you for one second.” 

“Delia-“ Patsy whined. “

“Do not ‘Delia’ me, Patience Mount.” 

“We’ll need a car when the baby is born. Before, to get you to the hospital quickly then after for shopping and things. It’ll make life so much easier.” 

“We live in London.” 

“We’re adults. We should have a car.” Patsy shrugged. 

It was at that moment Delia had a realisation. 

“Inside.” Delia said flatly.

“Deels?”

“Patsy, inside. We aren’t doing this outside.” 

Patsy closed her eyes and walked in, throwing the keys on the table. She should have listened to Trixie. 

—

Patsy followed Delia in to their living room, she sat down quietly beside her wife. She didn’t speak, didn’t move, barely even breathed. Delia sighed, then in an act that surprised Patsy, took both of her lover’s hands. 

“Thank you for the car Patsy, I really do love it.”

“I’m glad.” Patsy squeaked.

“But I’m not convinced your reasons for getting it are all too do with me.” Delia probed, “Something tells me there’s more to it. A lot more to it.”

“I do think a car would be easier for you, and especially with baby…” Patsy began.

“But?”

“But… I also… that is… it’s not the only reason I got the car.”

“Just spit it out Patsy.” Delia replied. She knew that sometimes Patsy needed a forceful hand and this was one of those times. Delia had an idea as to why Patsy was so keen on private transportation. 

“I had to go back to Julienne yesterday.” 

Delia squeezed Patsy's hands in reassurance. The older woman took a breath before continuing, her eyes trained on their joined hands.  

“She didn’t tell me to buy a car though.” Patsy added hastily.

“What did she tell you?” Delia asked, her eyes trained on her wife. Her heart was pounding with concern as Patsy visibly struggled before her eyes. She squeezed her hands again, hoping to provide some support and comfort, “Pats?”

“To talk to you.” Patsy responded, “The thing is… I’ve been walking to work.” 

“Right?”

“And it’s not because I wanted to keep fit.” Patsy added. 

Delia closed her eyes. She knew what was coming and her heart broke for the woman she loved.

“It’s because I… I’m scared.” Patsy paused, “I just… the Tube… it…” 

Delia pulled Patsy to her as the older woman tried her best not to break down into sobs. 

“And I knew you coming back to work… tomorrow… means you’d see and-“

Delia pressed a kiss into Patsy’s hair before gently pulling her up so she could look into the watery blue eyes she knew so well. She pressed a gentle kiss to Patsy’s forehead. 

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I didn’t want you to worry. Julienne says I have to stop not telling you things because of it.”

“She’s right.” Delia responded, “But I understand why you did it.”

“I’m sorry.”

‘Don’t be.” Delia smiled, “Get your coat on.”

“Why?”

“We’re going for a spin.” 

—

Patsy watched mesmerised as Delia carefully navigated her way through East London. She watched as her hands and feet all moved in perfect co-ordination. Delia had always been the better driver of the two. In fact, Patsy hadn’t driven since she’d passed her test when she was twenty-one. Whenever they’d visited the Busby’s by car, Delia had always been the one to find the rental and then drive it. Patsy was in awe at how, despite not driving for at least two years, Delia could still drive perfectly. She was convinced she’d forgotten everything. 

“Here we are.” Delia smiled as she pulled into the car park for Newbury Park station. She parked the car swiftly before turning to her wife. “We’re going to do this together. It doesn’t matter how far you get alright? If you can only stand outside the station, that’s fine.” 

“Why here?”

“Car park and it’s more likely to be quiet.” Delia replied, “Come on.” 

Both women climbed out the car, with Delia pocketing the keys after locking it. She held her hand out to Patsy who took it. Delia could feel the nerves radiating off the taller woman and paused before they left the car park.

“I’m here, Patsy.” Delia said lowly, “Every step of the way, I’m with you.” 

“I can’t do this.”

“You have to.” Delia replied. 

Patsy nodded, allowing Delia to walk her forward. They approached the entrance to the station slowly. Delia could feel Patsy pulling back slightly and stopped. She knew this had to be done at Patsy’s pace. Patsy took a few moments before moving forward until she was stood at the doors. She took two deep breaths before walking forward into the main foyer.

“Well done, darling.” Delia smiled, she placed her hand in Patsy’s pocket and removed her Oyster card, holding it in her hand with her own. “Can you go further?” 

Patsy nodded, pulling slightly at Delia’s hand. Delia squeezed her wife’s hand as they approached the gates. 

“We don’t have to do this.” Delia promised.

“I need to do it.” Patsy replied, “And I need you with me.”

Delia nodded. She offered Patsy her Oyster card. She waited patiently for Patsy to tap in and go through the gate before following swiftly behind her. Immediately, Patsy reached for her hand. The usually reserved Doctor unable to care who saw them or what they thought. Patsy kept walking. Her legs felt heavy as she followed the escalators and tunnels down to the platform. She stopped as the sound of a train whizzing by hit her. She could feel her heart rate increasing and a pounding in her ears. She was about to stop, turn around and make a run for it when Delia ran her thumb over Patsy’s knuckles, bringing her back to Earth. 

“You’re doing so well.” Delia whispered, “You can do this.” 

Patsy allowed Delia to lead her onto a platform. It was mostly empty. The next train due in a minute. She swallowed. This would be it. This would be the hard bit. Getting on a train. She could hear it approaching. She felt sick. But Delia was here, with her and in turn, so was her unborn child and she was determined that if she couldn’t do this for herself, or Delia, she could do it for them. 

As the train pulled in, she gripped Delia’s hand harder. The doors opened with a familiar swoosh and before she could even think, Delia had her on the train and sat down. She focussed on breathing, following the rise and fall of Delia’s stomach. Her eyes were trained there. Delia noted the carriage was almost empty but for a young couple who were more engrossed with another. As the train doors closed she pulled Patsy’s hand to her stomach, resting it there. 

“Well done, cariad.” Delia murmured as the train pulled away, “I’m so proud.” 

Patsy closed her eyes and rested her head on Delia’s shoulder. She smiled. She’d done it. She was on a train - and it was all thanks to Delia. As they pulled into the next stop, Delia stood up, pulled Patsy off the train and ushered her straight back to the other side so they could catch one back.

It was only later back in the safety of their new car that Patsy finally broke. She cried. She cried with pride at what she’d achieved, shocked that she’d done it. She cried for all the memories both pleasant and bad. But most of all she was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with love and eternal gratitude for the woman beside her. She pulled Delia to her, hugging her awkwardly in the car. 

“Thank you.” Patsy whispered. 

Delia ran a hand down Patsy’s face before starting the car.

They’d be alright.

And she really did quite like the car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this rather long chapter! This sort of ties up my little (long) exploration of Patsy's history and the next chapters are much more baby-focussed - although don't worry, there'll still be twists and turns ;)   
> Thank you for reading, and as always, to the people who leave kudos and comment. x


	30. First Day Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia returns to work and hatches a plan with Trixie, whilst Patsy has a tough day at work...

“But we need to show it off!” 

“Patsy, we’re getting the Tube. End of discussion.” 

Patsy huffed in annoyance. Delia couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she fiddled with her uniform. She’d have to get a bigger size and soon.

“It’s alright, you can drive it after work.” Delia replied, waltzing up to where Patsy was throwing things in her bag moodily.

“I don’t remember how to drive.” Patsy grumbled, offering Delia an apple.

“Of course you do. We’ll find somewhere quiet and take it from there.” Delia smiled, taking the apple and placing it in her own bag. “Stop being ‘Sulky Pats’.” 

“I’m not-“

“And start being ‘Happy Pats’” Delia teased, wrapping her arm around Patsy’s waist and twisting her round to face her. She smirked as Patsy’s arms immediately snaked around her own waist, the tiniest hint of a smile causing her lips to quirk slightly, “There she is.” Delia continued as Patsy smiled, shaking her head. 

“I think ‘Happy Pats’ is having some time off.” Patsy murmured, “I’m sorry.” She breathed, closing her eyes, “I just… I don't know.” 

“Don’t apologise.” Delia replied, “Come on, sweetheart. We need to get going.” 

Delia swallowed as Patsy nodded, releasing her and letting her go. She didn’t like to see her like this but it wasn’t entirely unexpected. Patsy had been a little bit too ‘ok’ over the past few days. Delia had known it would eventually catch up with her - she just hoped it was a bad mood and not the beginning of a downward spiral.

—

Walking onto the ward, Delia couldn’t help but feel a sense of rightness. She’d missed work. She giggled as she saw Barbara, Trixie and Val stand and begin to applaud her as she and Patsy walked towards them. Patsy tilted her head, eyebrows slightly raised to smirk at her, jokingly raising her hands and bowing before her wife as she made her way to where the others were stood. Even Nurse Crane who had been stood flicking through her diary was smiling.

“Whilst I’m sure we are all glad to have Nurse Busby-Mount back with us, I do believe we should keep noise to a minimum.” The older woman said warmly but in warning. 

“Sorry Phyllis.” Barbara replied, “But it is lovely to have you back with us Delia.” 

“It’s lovely to be back.” Delia chuckled. 

“Yes, well, you’ll be working with Nurse Franklin today running our drop in clinic.” Phyllis informed her. “Dr Mount, Mrs Davies delivered in this morning. Student Doctor Jones did very well. We do hope you don’t mind us deciding not to call you but Patrick was here and it all seemed in hand. She had a little boy.” 

“I trust your judgement Phyllis as you well know.” Patsy responded, “I’m glad things went well. Where is our esteemed student?”

“I sent her off for a half hour break to get a bite to eat.” 

“I’ll find her after I’ve done my rounds.” Patsy said, “Enjoy your day ladies.”

—

Trixie eyed Delia as the pair sat awaiting the start of their clinic. It had been one of Phyllis’ ideas and all the midwives adored working it. It was fun, varied and the perfect opportunity for gossip. It was a welcome break from the busy ward and Trixie wasn’t surprised that Delia had been put on it today. 

“So, what did you think of Patsy’s surprise?” 

“You mean the car?” Delia asked. “I love the car.” 

“But?”

“I just wasn’t too impressed with her making such a big decision on her own but we got to the bottom of it.” Delia paused, “You know don’t you?”

“About her not wanting to get the Tube?” Trixie nodded, “I offered to take her down but she wouldn't hear of it. Did you get here alright today?”

“We worked through it yesterday, got the Tube this morning.” Delia sighed, “But she’s not happy. I can tell but equally, I’m not sure there’s anything to really do other than keep going. She’s doing all the right things. Sometimes, things just take time.” 

“I’m glad she spoke to you about it. She can be so infuriatingly stubborn - and I’m also glad you liked the car… I must admit when she chose the yellow one I did raise an eyebrow.” 

“I do like a yellow car.” Delia chuckled.

“Maybe there is something we can do for Patsy though.” Trixie calculated with a grin, “Delia, would you permit me to lead your wife astray for a night on the tiles?” 

“I would - just don't ask me to paint the town with you.” 

“Excellent!” 

“If you’ll do something for me…” Delia bargained, “It’ll mean staying behind after work though.” 

“I’m listening.” 

Delia glanced at her watch before launching into her plan. Trixie grinned as she listened. 

“What a wonderful idea.” The blonde beamed, “I’d love to.” 

—

Patsy covered her mouth as she yawned. Since completing her rounds this morning she’d been in and out of surgery without time for so much as a toilet break. She was exhausted - mentally and physically - unaided by her and Val delivering a baby who had been whisked straight down to intensive care and them then having to deliver a baby with no chance of survival straight after. She closed her eyes as she entered her office, leaning against the door. It never seemed to get any easier. She remembered her first still born delivery. Phyllis had been there, looked after her and then she’d snuck into Delia’s room and cried until she fell asleep. She wondered for the millionth time that day where Delia was and more aptly how she was. All Patsy knew was that she’d give anything to be held by her right now. 

She wondered as well, where Lucy was. The student doctor had been present at both births and Patsy wanted to make sure she was alright. Life was bloody unfair, Patsy thought as she slipped a couple of cigarettes and a lighter into her pocket. Life was actually rather shit at times. 

She found her young charge in the Peace Garden - the place where everyone on this ward seemed to go. She had evidently been crying and barely moved as Patsy sat beside her. The older woman offered her a cigarette which the student took, allowing Patsy to light it for her. They sat in silence for a few moments. It was Lucy who eventually broke it.

“Does it get easier?” She asked quietly.

“No.” Patsy admitted honestly, “But you learn how to cope better.” 

“Cigarettes?” 

“Just the one.” Patsy tipped. They were silent for a few moments, before the red head spoke again, “Do you have a partner, Lucy?” 

“I… yes well… I suppose… that is, we’re not official.” Lucy said quietly, slightly taken aback, “Why?”

“Arrange to see her.” Patsy responded, “Let her in, let her look after you. Do whatever it is you need to do to make yourself feel something other than what you feel right now.” 

“Is that what you do?”

“Delia has always been my remedy.” Patsy smiled, “Since we met. We were at University, studying midwifery together when I experienced my first still born. I was the year above you see.” 

“I didn’t know.”

“I crept into her room at half past three in the morning. She’d had me a key cut to her flat at the time. I had to sneak past her room mates who were sat up playing the Playstation, high as kites.” Patsy laughed slightly, “We hadn’t told anyone about our relationship. My fault of course. I remember sneaking into that room, shaking her awake. She hates being woken up. Yet she held me. She held me, listened to me, told me to let it out. I remember thinking in that moment, I never wanted to let her go. Then I promised myself I never would. I surprised her by telling Trixie the next day, then Phyllis and then… we went to the pub quiz every Sunday… and I entered the pub holding her hand and I didn’t let go.” 

“Wow.” Lucy breathed.

“My point is you need something or someone to go home to, that will help you deal with things like this. This job isn’t easy. You’re going to find it every bit as tough as it is rewarding and some days you’ll struggle to get through the day - but you’ll always get through it - if there’s something or someone for you to go home to at the end of the day. For me, that’s Delia. For Delia, it’s the gym and for Phyllis, it’s her Spanish class.” 

“I do have a puppy.” Lucy grinned, “Oscar.”

“Puppies work too - Delia wants a puppy.” Patsy huffed, ending the unusually deep conversation. She saw a lot of herself in the young Doctor, and was determined to help her.

“Don’t you?”

“We don’t have time for a puppy.” Patsy shrugged, “And imagine keeping the house clean with a dog running around.”

“You do know children are messy?” Lucy chuckled.

“Not if you train them.” Patsy winked. “Text her. Call her. Go on a long walk with Oscar. Take care of yourself Lucy.”

“I will. Thank you Dr Mount.” 

“Pats?!” 

Both lifted their heads. Patsy unconsciously beamed with joy as she noticed her wife walking casually towards her. Delia’s face lit up too, a wide grin spreading across her features. Lucy smiled with a slight shake of her head. She’d been warned about Dr Mount when she got her placement here - stern, hygiene obsessed and no nonsense had been some of the words used to describe her and for the most part that was true. But she was also endlessly kind, compassionate and underneath her bravado, warm. She felt rather honoured to have been taken under the red haired Doctor’s wing and felt a sadness hit her as she realised tomorrow would be her last day.

“Hello Lucy.” Delia greeted the younger woman, “I hope Patsy hasn’t been being too harsh on you in my absence.” 

“I-“

“Not at all. She’s a wonderful teacher. I’m very grateful.” Lucy said with a blush. 

“You took my advice?”

“What advice?” Patsy asked incredulously. 

“To not let you cow her.”

“I do not cow people.” Patsy retorted, “I just… rule with a very firm hand.”

“The only hand firmer is Nurse Crane’s.” Delia laughed.

“I take that as a compliment.” Patsy said sticking her chin out. 

“I heard about the babies. I’m sorry.” Delia offered, remembering the reason she’d come to seek Patsy out in the first place. She turned to Lucy. “Do you need anything?”

“No. Dr Mount has been more than kind.” Lucy stood up, “I should go. Thank you for everything.”

“Let me know how it goes.” Patsy winked. “And I’ll see you tomorrow for your last day.”

Lucy waved before walking off. Patsy sighed her head falling into her hands as soon as her student was out of sight. Delia sat beside her, wrapping one arm around her wife. They sat for a while before Patsy eventually sat up. Delia said nothing, simply caressed her wife’s face. Patsy leant into the touch, eyes closed.

“Come on Cariad,” Delia whispered, “I’ve got a surprise for you.” 

Patsy only just had the energy to raise an eyebrow as Delia led her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to those of you reading, commenting and leaving kudos. I massively appreciate it.
> 
> Any guesses what Delia's surprise might be?


	31. Perfect in Every Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo sorry it's taken me so long to post this. I've started a new job so life has been crazy busy. Anyway... here we are... Delia's surprise.

Delia was practically dragging Patsy along the corridors of the hospital. The taller woman was evidently tired and Delia wondered for a moment if it would be better for her to text Trixie and rearrange for another day. Then she remembered the horrendous day her wife had had and saw the sad, despondent look behind her eyes and she decided against it - they were doing this, and they were doing it now. 

“Delia… what’s going on?” Patsy sighed, tiredly. 

“You’ll see.” Delia responded as she opened the door to their destination. 

Patsy stopped dead as the door swung shut behind them. Trixie was smiling warmly, readying the bed and checking the machine… a machine Patsy had used so many times before. She turned to Delia who was also smiling, her eyes glittering with love and excitement. 

“We’re about due a scan Pats…” Delia whispered, her thumb running over Patsy’s knuckles. “I asked Trix to do it tonight.”

“Why tonight?” Patsy asked quietly.

“I think you need a reminder of what’s to come… and a chance to push away what’s come before.” Delia responded, “Plus, I’m not sure I can bare to wait a second longer.” 

Patsy’s face split into a grin as she gently nudged Delia towards the examination area. She nodded her head at her best friend. She waited for Delia to settle down before perching on the edge of the bed, one hand still holding Delia’s. Patsy gently pulled Delia’s top up with the other, allowing Trixie the access she would require. 

“Ok, sweetie.” Trixie began, “This is going to feel cold.” 

The blonde winked as she applied the gel. Delia grasped Patsy’s hand tightly, both were holding their breaths as Trixie moved the scanner carefully over Delia’s abdomen. Suddenly, an image appeared on screen as a rhythmic whooshing sound beat steadily through the room. Delia looked up at the exact same time Patsy looked down at her. Both women were beaming with joy and pride, tears dripped steadily down Patsy’s cheeks as Delia too, felt a stray tear fall. 

“Perfectly healthy.” Trixie whispered. 

“Perfect.” Patsy began before clearing her throat, trying to unclog the emotion stuck there, “In every possible way.” 

“I can’t… that’s our baby.” Delia said with a little chuckle. 

Patsy pressed a kiss to the top of Delia’s head, laughing slightly with her wife as they watched their baby move around on screen. Trixie chanced a glance at them and felt her own eyes begin to fill with tears. The blonde Nurse couldn’t be happier for her two friends and felt honoured and proud to be sharing this moment with them. They’d been through a lot together, first her and Patsy and then Delia when Patsy had finally gotten her act together and admitted she and Delia were an item - somehow this all seemed to complete the circle. 

“Do you want to know the sex?” Trixie asked, quietly and softly so as not to break the spell.

“I’m trying my best not to.” Patsy admitted.

“Me too.” Delia said, “It’s the downside of being in the business I suppose…”

“It’ll be a surprise if we don’t mention it.” Patsy responded, “Oh, they’re perfect. Thank you, Delia.” She added as a whisper, “Thank you so much.” 

Delia smiled as she felt Patsy’s forehead press against hers for a moment before they both turned back to the screen. 

Suddenly, everything just felt that little bit more real and everything made sense. 

—

Later, Delia ran a hand over her stomach as she flattened her jumper down. She smiled, her mind drifting back to earlier that afternoon. She’d never really understood what people meant when they said that seeing their baby on screen changed everything and opened up a whole new world to them. She’d scoffed at some parents as they’d spoke of it but now, after seeing her and Patsy’s child growing inside of her? She understood every word and her bond with her wife? Intensified. In a split second everything seemed more solid. She wasn’t even sure how it was possible for her to love Patsy more, but somehow she did. They were going to be responsible for another human being - forever. 

She sauntered slowly from their bedroom into the living room where Patsy was sat on the sofa in a pair of jeans and a jumper. She was gazing at the print out from the scan, a long finger gently caressing the image. A small smile graced her features, widening as she looked up and noticed Delia watching. Delia sighed, moving to sit next to her wife as the pair gazed down at their baby. 

“It’s incredible isn’t it?” Delia murmured, resting her head on Patsy’s shoulder. 

“You’re incredible.” Patsy responded. “I’m don’t know what to say. I’m just… so lost for words. I can’t believe that we’re here, married, happy and expecting a baby.” 

“But we are.” Delia replied softly.

“And I couldn’t be more grateful.” Patsy whispered.

“I love you, Pats.” Delia said after a moments silence.

“And, I love you Deels.” Patsy breathed. She basked in the moment for a few seconds before continuing, “So, documentary?” She asked picking up the remote.

Delia however, was having none of it and quickly snatched the remote from her wife. “Oh no, Pats… not a chance.” 

“What?”

“You aren’t getting out of your driving lesson that easily.” 

“Delia-“

“No, come on. You’ve bought a car, you can spend some time in it.” Delia stood up and held out her hand expectantly. “The longer you leave it the harder it’s going to be.” 

“But you’re so able…” Patsy whined, taking her wife’s hand and standing up. “And co-ordinated. Trust me, I know.” 

“Being a minx will not get you out of this.” Delia warned, grabbing the car keys off the side as she led Patsy to the front door. 

“I’m not being a minx, I’m stating facts.” Patsy huffed before smirking coyly, “You are very talented with those hands of yours…” 

Delia shook her head and pushed Patsy out of the front door, muttering to herself as she locked up the house and unlocked the car. Patsy huffed as she clambered into the passenger seat, causing Delia to smirk slightly. She was going to enjoy this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have zero medical knowledge so sorry if the scan is massively inaccurate! Thanks as always for reading - now I'm off to try and catch up on all I've missed! x


	32. Changing Gears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy finally drives the car and she and Delia 'discuss' the birthing options.

“Why do you sit so close to the wheel?”

“Because I’m shorter than you, just move it back.”

Patsy muttered incoherently under her breath as she slid the seat back. Delia had driven them to a quiet industrial estate so that the older woman could ease herself back into driving without the pressures of London traffic. So far, however, Patsy had made every excuse under the sun not to start the engine. 

“Stop stalling.” Delia warned.

“I’m not stalling… I’ve not even started the car yet.”

“Very funny Pats.” Delia rolled her eyes, “Come on… just get her started.” 

Patsy sighed dramatically before turning the ignition, the car came to live quietly, the radio playing. Patsy immediately turned it off.

“I need to concentrate.” 

Delia rolled her eyes but remained silent as Patsy slowly checked the car was in gear and then very slowly let the hand brake off, smoothly pulling away. 

“See told you, you could do it.” Delia smirked as Patsy drove steadily down the road. 

“It still feels a bit weird.” Patsy mumbled, “Let me practise parking.” She said as she spotted a car park. 

“Sweetheart, you just need to get yourself driving. Stop over-thinking…”

“I need to be competent.” Patsy refuted.

Delia sighed - sitting quietly as Patsy managed to park the car perfectly first time. She couldn’t help but smile however as Patsy spun round to face her, grinning like a child at Christmas, before setting off once more.

“How’m I doing Deels?” Patsy asked.

“Good enough to drive us home.” Delia winked, “You’re a good driver Pats. You’ve just avoided it for so many years that you’ve convinced yourself you are not. You passed your test with one minor. One!” 

“I know but… there’s something old Jim who taught me to drive said and it stuck with me.”

“What?”

“That a car is a killing machine. One false move and you can kill someone.” 

“Jim always seemed more jolly than that.” Delia chuckled as Patsy pulled out carefully onto the road. 

“He’s right though.” Patsy responded, eyes fixed on the road ahead. 

“Only if you misuse it.”

“Or don’t concentrate… I just… the power of a car is a bit… scary when you think about it.” Patsy admitted, “I kind of thought it was a skill I should have but wouldn’t need.” 

“You only need it now because _you_ bought a car.”

“I know… but can you really imagine getting the Tube or bus with a child everyday?” 

“Plenty do it.” Delia shrugged.

“And what about when you go into labour?” Patsy asked, “We’d be all year waiting for an ambulance.”

“What if I want baby at home?” Delia questioned as Patsy pulled up to some traffic lights.

“What if there’s complications?” Patsy retorted.

“Do you really need me to answer that?” Delia probed, “The other week you were banging on about how women should have a choice as to where they give birth. I didn’t realise you didn’t mean it.”

“I do mean it but…”

“But what Patsy?” 

“But they aren’t you.” 

“For real?” Delia snapped angrily. “So you’re saying that every other woman can have their baby where they choose except for me, your wife?” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“You implied it.” 

“Delia, we’ve not even discussed you giving birth.” Patsy huffed. 

“Because you seem to already have it worked out!” 

“I-“

Their arguing was cut short as a horn sounded behind them. Patsy grumbled as she noticed the lights had changed to green and quickly set off, a quick flash of her hazards in apology. She drove quietly for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. Delia was staring out the window, blanking her.

“Do you want a home birth?” Patsy asked quietly as she pulled onto their quiet street. 

“Does it matter?” Delia asked moodily as Patsy parked the car. Both got out, and began the short walk to the flat.

“I don’t see how we’ve ended up arguing about this.” Patsy sighed as she unlocked their front door and opened the door, “And I don’t want to argue about it anymore, so I’m _asking_ you, what do _you_ want?”

Delia walked past Patsy into their house, she heard Patsy huff and enter behind her, shutting the door. It was then that Delia turned - and promptly burst into tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so maybe they argued about birthing options but this means there's a cute make up next right? ;)


	33. In It For The Long Haul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia and Patsy work through Delia's hormones and remember that they're in it together.

For a moment, Patsy was dumbfounded. She thought they were arguing and Delia never cried during an argument. If anything it was she, who would get emotional (and quickly leave to avoid showing it) but not Delia. Despite their bickering though, a second later Patsy had Delia wrapped in her arms, holding her wife tight in the middle of their hallway, pressing kisses into her hair. 

“I’m sorry.” Delia breathed, clinging to Patsy.

“Why?” Patsy frowned.

“For arguing with you.” 

“Delia…” Patsy murmured, “What you think is important to me…”

“I know that.” Delia hiccuped, “And I know you hadn’t planned everything out or meant it in that way but…” She sobbed again and Patsy took a breath before pulling her wife ever closer, “I just got so annoyed and then so emotional and now I’m crying and I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

“Nothing is wrong with you darling.” Patsy replied, running her hand over Delia’s hair. “You’re just having a baby.” 

“What?” 

“At risk of having my head bitten off…” Patsy punctuated her joke with a kiss to the top of Delia’s head, “It’s your hormones…” 

Delia pulled back and Patsy braced herself for another ticking off. She thought for a moment, it was coming as she saw the look on Delia’s face until the younger woman sighed and hugged Patsy again, her head burrowing into the red head’s chest.  

“Come on, it’s been a long day.” Patsy whispered, “Let’s order a take away and get comfy on the sofa.” 

Delia nodded and allowed Patsy to lead her to their living room. She waited for Patsy to sit down before slumping on the sofa beside her, snuggling in close as Patsy turned the TV on, handing the remote to Delia before unlocking her phone.

“What do you want to eat?” Patsy asked as Delia flicked through the channels.

“Pizza.” Delia murmured, “Dominoes.” 

Patsy busied herself with ordering as Delia, having been disappointed with the terrestrial offerings, brought up Netflix. She glanced at her wife who was busy ordering before selecting Stranger Things. She knew that Patsy had wanted to save it for a day off when they could sit and binge it all in one go however, Delia also knew that that was unlikely to happen any time soon. 

“We’re in it for the long haul then?” Patsy asked, placing her phone down on the side and wrapping both arms tightly around Delia. 

Delia felt a warmth fill her. She knew that Patsy was talking about their evening and the fact they’d no doubt end up watching far too many episodes in one sitting but her mind had drifted back to a time when the (then blonde) woman holding her had uttered those same words. It had been their first Christmas where they were officially together…

_Patsy rushed in behind Delia, slamming the door and rubbing her hands together. Delia had giggled before grabbing Patsy’s scarf and pulling the taller woman to her, their lips meeting in perfect synchronisation. They’d been quite satisfied, there in the hallway of Delia’s flat, until a rouge snowflake had melted and dripped from Patsy’s fringe onto Delia’s nose. They broke apart, smirking before Patsy unwound her scarf and hung both of their coats up to dry._

_“Let’s get warmed up…” Patsy had smiled, “Properly.” She’d added at the cheeky glint in her girlfriend’s eye._

_“Spoil sport.”_

_“You don’t want to catch a cold.”_

_“Hmm, well if you insist we warm up, you can come and help me write Christmas cards.”_

_Patsy groaned, following the shorter woman as she stalked into the kitchen (always the warmest room in the house) and sat upon one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Patsy sat beside her, watching as Delia pulled out two packs of charity Christmas cards from a carrier bag._

_“I keep forgetting to buy Christmas cards.” Patsy sighed as Delia pulled out a pack of pens._

_“Maybe we could…” Delia trailed off. They'd been together for over a year but they'd only been officially together for a few months. She didn’t want to come across as too forward._

_“What?” Patsy probed gently. “Deels?”_

_“Maybe we could… sign these ones… together.” Delia babbled. “Obviously you don’t have to but it might save you-“_

_Delia had been cut off by Patsy gently cupping her face in her hands. The Welshwoman raised her eyes to meet Patsy’s and was surprised to see her smile was accompanied by unshed tears. Patsy slowly leant forward and kissed her. It was a kiss so deep with promise, love and hope. As they pulled away, Patsy couldn’t help but give her girlfriend a lop sided smile._

_“We’re it in for the long haul then?” Patsy had whispered, her voice tight but full of happiness. “Joint Christmas cards is making a statement in Trixie’s book.”_

_“We’re in it for the long haul Pats… I’ll even give you all my passwords so that if I die you can continue to post as my ghost.” Delia grinned wickedly._

_“How utterly romantic.” Patsy sighed dramatically._

_Both girls laughed and began writing their Christmas cards. Soon, most were written except for two. Mr Busby’s and Mrs Busby’s. Patsy didn’t say a word- she expected that Delia would want to send them just from her and she truly didn’t mind - and so she couldn’t hide her surprise when Delia signed the card from both of them._

_“I love you Pats.” Delia said softly as she sealed the cards. “And I intend to love you for the rest of my life - and I don’t care if that’s too forward.”_

_“You can be as forward as you like with me Deels…” Patsy grinned. “I intend to love you for the rest of my life too.”_

Delia grinned as she remembered what had happened afterwards. She wondered what her younger self would make of them now. Married, living together and expecting a baby. She snuggled deeper into her wife.

“My passwords are still the same you know.” Delia mumbled.

“What?” Patsy asked with a frown.

“In it for the long haul…” 

Patsy grinned as recollection hit her. “Still a romantic then?” 

“Always.” Delia laughed before taking a breath, “Patsy, I am sorry… for earlier.”

“Delia, there’s really no need-“

“But there is. I love you and that means-“

“That means that it’s ok for you to take things out on me.” Patsy interrupted. “You’re carrying our baby Delia, it’s perfectly natural for your emotions to be off kilter and the thing is… Gosh, I’m not good with words… but I love you and I’m honoured that I get to share my life with you and that you want to start a family with me. I love you so much Delia, and it’s for that reason that I want you to take it out on me. Let me be there for you - as your wife, as your best friend and when required, as your punchbag.”

“You’ve set me off crying again.” 

“Sorry… but well… I’m in it for the long haul…” Patsy paused, “What do you reckon Deels? All nine episodes in one night?” 

Delia shook her head but snuggled into Patsy’s side nonetheless. Patsy gently ran her hand down onto Delia’s stomach, smiling as Delia caught it and held it in place. She knew exactly what her younger self would think of them now - perfect - it was everything she’d ever dreamed of. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is commenting, leaving kudos and reading. You are all so lovely and I appreciate all of you immensely.


	34. Ginger Nuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy is a total bae, Delia gets political and there's a party on the ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before this story moves on in terms of time. Enjoy!

“Just a little bit.” 

“I feel sick.” 

“I know darling, but you need to have something.” 

Delia sighed and picked up the toast that Patsy had put in front of her. It had the smallest slathering of ginger jam upon it and Delia felt a small smile tug at her lips at her wife’s thoughtfulness. Patsy placed a glass of water beside her, one wedge of lemon and some ice floating at the top. 

“You don’t have to look after me.”

“Yes I do.” Patsy responded.

“It’s just a bit of morning sickness.” 

“And it’s making you feel rotten.” Patsy responded, her eyes softening, “You could stay here you know, no one would mind.” 

“I would!” Delia refuted, her tone a little too sharp. She sighed, “Sorry, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” Patsy whispered with a slight smile. 

“It’s just I know I’ll be alright later and I don’t want to take time off work just because I don’t feel well. I’m having a baby, I’m not ill. Besides, we’re already short staffed-“

“No we’re not-“

“We’re permanently short staffed.” Delia huffed in annoyance, “Fucking Tories.” 

“That’s a world record.” Patsy murmured checking her watch, “We’ve gone a whole two hours since getting up without you getting political.” 

“Only because we aren’t watching the news.” Delia chuckled. She sighed, placing the crust of the toast she’d managed to nibble away at down, she ran a hand over her belly, marvelling at how the baby seemed to grow each day. “I can’t help but wonder what kind of world they’re going to grow up in.” 

Patsy sighed heavily, her brow furrowing despite the small smile she forced to her lips, “I don’t know. Politically the world is fucked.” Both she and Delia laughed on an inhaled breath. The red head reached for Delia’s hand, twining their fingers upon her small bump, “But whatever is going on around us, I know that they’ll be loved, treasured and doted upon at home. Now, come on. Let’s get going - I want to stop at Tesco on the way.” 

“What for?” Delia asked, standing up and washing her plate.

“Donuts.” Patsy shrugged, retrieving Delia’s coat and holding it out for her. “It’s Lucy’s last day, I thought it might be nice to buy a few snacks and things and have a little bit of a Jacob’s joint.” 

“Isn’t everyone supposed to bring something to a Jacob’s joint?” Delia chuckled as she zipped her coat up.

“Yes but I’ve only just decided to do it so I’m buying on behalf of everyone.” Patsy said, “We can get you some ginger nuts too.” 

“What for?”

“Your morning sickness.” Patsy shrugged, “Anything with ginger in will help. Ginger tea-“

“Pats. I’m going to turn into ginger at this rate.” 

“It worked for me.” Patsy smirked as she grabbed the car keys.

Delia rolled her eyes. Yes, she thought, it did.

—

Delia yawned as she sat down at the Nurses’ station. The day had felt never ending with patient after patient requiring her care and no real time for anything more than toilet break. The sickness from the morning had subsided but it had been replaced by an aching back, sore feet and the discomfort of a uniform that was quickly becoming too small. She watched, feeling slightly guilty, as Trixie and Chummy busied themselves with perfecting the buffet spread across the back table. 

“It’s jolly nice of Patsy to do all of this.” Chummy hummed.

“It’s nice of you two to sort it out. I feel like I should be helping.” Delia responded.

“Nonsense.” Trixie smiled, “You have precious cargo to look after.”

“And you do look rather tired old bean. Pregnancy is such a ghastly process.” Chummy decided as she sat on her own chair, “On one hand you love it, marking off all of one’s milestones and but on the other, you just want it bally well over with.” 

“It all feels real now… since we had the scan.” 

“You had the scan?” Chummy frowned, “I can’t believe neither you and Patsy have shown us the photo!”

“Truth be told, we haven’t had time. We only had it done last night.” 

“By who?”

“Me.” Trixie beamed, “And we’re all under strict instructions to not look at the gender.” 

Delia grinned as she withdrew the scan card. Chummy gasped in delight. “Oh, it only seems like two minutes since we got Freddy’s.” 

As Delia placed the scan back into the safety of her pocket, the rest of the Nurses appeared with Julienne following close behind them. They all grinned as they noticed the spread, chuckling as Doctor Turner skated around the corner, his hair a mess and tie loose.

“Patrick, look at the state of you.” Shelagh chuckled, her tone affectionate but scolding.

“I didn’t want to be late.” Patrick shrugged as she ran a hand through his hair, straightening it out. His hands reached for his tie but Shelagh, noticing instantly, batted them away. “You’ll choke me.” 

“Good.” Shelagh responded. 

Before Patrick could argue (and Shelagh could fuss) anymore, they heard the familiar click-clack of Patsy’s heels, her voice carrying down the corridor as she spoke to her young charge.

“Now Lucy, there’s something I’d like you to see to before you leave us.” Patsy said, “It’s quite a big job I’m afraid, quite important really, but I do believe you’ve earned the right to give it a go.” 

“I’d love to.” 

“You see,” Patsy replied, face breaking into a smile as they rounded the corner, “We just have such a tremendous amount of food to get through and we really would like it if you could grace us with your presence for the next couple of hours so that we can say a proper good luck.” 

Lucy gasped as she saw all the staff assembled and the huge pile of food. She turned to Patsy who was grinning.

“This? Is for me?” Lucy asked.

“You’ve been invaluable.” Patsy responded, “And unlike most students who traipse onto our ward, you’ve been hard working, decent and mad enough to fit right in.” 

“And we’re very sorry to see you leave sweetie.” Trixie added, “So come tuck in. Patsy here bought you some vegetarian snacks as we know you’re veggie and so we’ve put them over there away from the meat.” 

As Trixie whisked Lucy to the food, everyone else too begin to pile their paper plates high. Patsy offering to get Delia’s so that she didn’t have to move from her chair. She came back with two plates, one piled high.

“Who is that for?” Delia asked. “Because it can’t be for me.”

“You’re eating for two.” Patsy winked. “Look, there’s even a ginger nut on there.”

“I’m not eating all that.” 

Patsy hummed as she placed her own plate down on the side, picking up a sausage roll before wrapping her arm around Delia’s shoulders, watching as Barbara, Trixie and Val laughed with Lucy.

“I’m going to miss her.” Delia admitted.

“I think we all are. It’s a shame she’s still got a year to go. I’d have her on this ward tomorrow.” Patsy sighed, “I’m glad she seems to like it.” 

Delia smiled and leant against her wife as she ate. “You’re a big softie under all that bravado aren’t you?”

“Yes…” Patsy whispered, her fingers rubbing Delia’s shoulder warmly, as she leant down slightly, “But don’t tell anyone.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! The next chapter will skip ahead a little bit.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who are reading, leaving kudos and especially to those of you commenting. You're all the best.


	35. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The months are whizzing by and it's time to start thinking names. Ft. Patsy getting a little bit too excited.

As the weeks passed by, Delia felt herself transform. She’d had to order two uniforms in the last month alone and had finally succumbed to wearing maternity clothes. Patsy had continued to be attentive to her every need but without over-crowding her and despite the number of times the Welsh woman had snapped at her, burst into tears or started laughing for no reason whatsoever, Patsy had remained steadfast.

Delia glanced across at her wife who was sat on the sofa, her knees up as she rested the iPad on them. The older woman began to smirk, her fingers tapping just slightly more enthusiastically. Delia frowned.

“What are you up to?” 

“Nothing.” Patsy shrugged. 

Delia raised an eyebrow, getting up off of her chair and making her way over. 

“Let me see.” 

Patsy immediately drew the iPad to her chest.

“Why do you want to watch me go through Facebook?” 

“Because I know you’re not on Facebook.” Delia replied sitting beside her, “Come on, what’ve you bought?”

“I’ve not bought anything.” The red head replied, a little too quickly.

For the past month Patsy had been obsessed with buying things for the baby. They already had a pram, a cot and a carry seat and Delia was wondering what on Earth could be next.

“Pats.” 

Patsy sighed with a slight huff, before turning the iPad round.

“Patsy, how on Earth do you spend sixty pounds on baby clothes!” Delia exclaimed.

“They were cute… and I might have got a little carried away but look how adorable they are.” Patsy beamed, “Look at the Eeyore one.” 

Delia shook her head, unable to stop the smile that was creeping across her face. “The poor baby is going to have so many clothes they’ll have grown before they get chance to wear them.”

“Ah, you see that’s not strictly true. For this lot have all been bought in twelve to eighteen months.” Patsy grinned.

“Always thinking ahead aren’t you cariad?” Delia chuckled, wrapping her hands around Patsy’s bicep and hugging herself close.

“Always thinking of you two.” Patsy responded, pressing a kiss to the top of Delia’s head. 

Delia smiled, closing her eyes and needling her way under Patsy’s arm. She wrapped her arms around her wife’s waist, resting her head against her chest and sighing deeply. Patsy held her close, dropping a kiss onto her head before opening the News app and beginning to read. It was these moments that Delia had come to love. The quiet moments of domesticity where they could just be together. She relished the quiet when the only sound was their soft breathing and the beat of Patsy’s heart against her ear. She savoured the feel of being in her wife’s arms. She knew in the past week or so she’d started to become clingy. It was an unusual feeling, to want and need someone so badly. Even in their youth, she hadn’t been this bad. At the moment she just had to touch Patsy. Whether that was hugging her, holding her hand or just a slight stroke of her arm if they passed in the corridors. Patsy didn’t seem to mind however, her insistence on ‘whatever makes you comfortable, darling’ proven. 

Delia was just dozing off when a movement made her sit up. Patsy jumped, frowning slightly at her wife who gasped. 

“What is it?” Patsy asked, placing the iPad down. 

“Feel.” Delia murmured, grabbing Patsy’s hand and forcing it on her stomach. 

They waited for a moment before the soft fluttering beat against their hands. Both giggled, watery eyes meeting, smiles wide and beaming. Patsy rubbed gently with her thumb, shaking her head slightly in wonder.

“Is this the first time?”

“Yes.” Delia whispered.

“I’ve felt this so many times… and yet…”

“It’s our first time.” Delia finished. 

Patsy bit her lip, resting her forehead against Delia’s for a moment before pressing their lips together in a tender kiss. As they pulled away she lifted her free hand up, caressing the side of Delia’s face gently. 

“Thank you.” Patsy breathed, “Thank you so much.” 

“We still haven’t discussed names.” Delia murmured, catching Patsy’s hand and bringing it to her lips. 

“No.” Patsy hummed with a smile.

“Any thoughts?” Delia probed. “How about Grace or Elizabeth after your Mother or Sister for a girl?” 

Patsy smiled before shaking her head, “I love you for suggesting it but I don’t want this baby to be named after someone. I want them to have their own unique identity. I don’t want them to feel they have to live up to the memory of my Mother or Grace. Maybe one or both of those for a middle name but not their first.” 

“Alright.” Delia agreed, “Mercedes?” She winked.

“God no.” Patsy chuckled, “Simple but elegant, classic but still modern.” 

“Nora?”

“I’m glad you’re taking the naming of our child so seriously.” Patsy chucked in amusement, “Charlotte?” 

“No.”

“Amelia?”

“Maybe, Olivia?” Delia suggested.

“Autumn?” 

“That is cute but I dunno.” Delia sighed, “Hope?”

“I like it but it just… it doesn’t seem right.” Patsy sighed, “There is a name I like… but I don’t think you’ll agree.” 

“Go on.”

“It’s old fashioned.”

“I like old fashioned.” 

“Emily?” Patsy suggested. “It’s fine if you don’t like it-“

“No.” Delia cut her off, “No I love it. Although can we spell it differently? Make it more unique?”

“How else do you spell Emily?” 

“I dunno… maybe E-M-I-L-E-E?” Delia shrugged, “No, I like it… Emilee.” 

“Now what if it’s a boy?” Patsy asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Oliver?” 

“No.”

“Andrew?” 

“No. How about Evan?” 

“Not a chance.” 

“Dewi?” Patsy suggested, “It’s Welsh… or Gethin, Garth?” 

“Maybe as a middle name.” Delia frowned, “How about Miles?” 

Patsy grinned, “Miles sounds perfect.” 

“I feel like this conversation should be harder.” Delia murmured as she settled back into Patsy’s side.

“Maybe for other people it is.” Patsy shrugged.

“Is that your way of saying we’re well matched?” Delia asked, looking up at her wife.

Patsy hummed, “I don’t think you need me to tell you that, darling.” 

“No.” Delia smiled, “No I don’t.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos and commenting. 
> 
> There's a few more chapters yet but it's not long until we'll be meeting baby! (I'll be meeting them today though seen as I'm just gonna sit here writing this until it's done - procrastination at it's finest!)


	36. Too Late For Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobia. 
> 
> Patsy and Delia have to face some unsavoury views.

“Take lunch.” 

Patsy waited for the two student doctors to round the corner before closing her eyes and releasing a heavy sigh. It wasn’t that she didn't like the latest two recruits onto her ward - both lads were intelligent and polite - the issue was their complete lack of listening skills and over-confidence. One, Eddie, wasn’t quite as bad but James, the older of the two, was insufferable in his own self-worth. He questioned her, he questioned Patrick and worst of all, he was borderline rude to the Nurses. Patsy had pulled him up on it twice just today and her namesake virtue was beginning to run thin - especially when Eddie asked her the same question nine times over.

“Alright sweetie?” Trixie asked, fixing her watch to her uniform. 

“How long until I can send those two packing?” Patsy whined, leaning against the wall. 

“The students? What’s up with them?” 

“Maybe I’ve got used to the fact that most students who come onto this ward are petrified of me but they’re just so over confident - well James is, Eddie just doesn’t listen. I’m starting to wonder if Lucy whistle blew that we’re all actually nice.” Patsy huffed.

“Definitely not. I think she was still petrified of you - most people are.” Trixie chuckled.

“Am I really that scary?”

“Only when you wake up hungover with last nights make up streaked down your face.” The blonde haired woman winked. 

“It feels like a long time since you saw me like that.” Patsy laughed, “I can’t believe our night out ended up with us eating pizza in your front room.” 

“We’re getting old.” Trixie gasped dramatically. “Well, I must dash off - don’t want to get in trouble with the boss.” 

“No, she’s a real cow.” Patsy winked. 

“Are you taking lunch?” Trixie asked.

“I’m taking as long as I get… though I’ve left my dinner in Delia’s bag so I’m going to have to make a trip to her locker. You can almost guarantee that I’ll get collared.” 

“Well off you go then!” 

Patsy shook her head before stalking off down the corridor, determined to look busy enough that no one would bother her. She was had just rounded the corner to the Nurses’ locker room when she Delia stood outside. She frowned - why would Delia be stood outside of the locker room?

“Deels-“ She was cut off as Delia raised a hand silencing her. Patsy’s frown deepened, she walked as quietly as she could towards her wife, surprised when she noted tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” She whispered urgently.

Delia didn’t say a word but Patsy could see the tension running through her - her muscles shifting visibly as she swallowed down the emotion. Patsy tried to crane her neck to meet her wife’s eyes but the shorter woman looked away, her eyes fixed on a point on the floor. Patsy, in her alarm, grabbed Delia’s arm and pulled her round to face her, wondering what on Earth could have made Delia like this. She hadn’t seen her wife like this in a long time - not since they’d been out and some less than gentlemanly young men had called them… Patsy stopped the thought. They were in a hospital, surely not.

“Listen.” Delia whispered. 

Patsy dipped her head slightly straining to hear what was being said from within the locker room. The door was slightly ajar, not enough see in but just enough to hear exactly what was being said - by a male voice. Patsy felt her blood run cold as she listened. 

“It’s a fucking waste mate. I mean they’re both fit but Dr Mount… should be illegal for someone as fit as her to be a dyke.” Patsy realised the voice belonged to James, “As for her little wife Nurse Busby… well, who knew lezza’s could get pregnant? Who do you reckon the Dad is?”

“Dunno.” Came Eddie’s voice, “Do you reckon she shagged a man? Like one night only?”

“Where do you sign up for that? I’ve paid bitches to pretend to lez off in front of me. Nah, I reckon a turkey baster… still, I reckon it’s wrong one who’s pregnant.” 

“What?”

“Well if I was a dyke, I’d want the fittest one to be the one who got up the duff. Little Welsh bird is alright but Dr Mount is something else…” 

“I dunno… brunettes are hot.” Eddie murmured. 

“But let’s be honest, she’s the ugly one in the relationship.”

Patsy could feel her entire body shaking, her face reddening with anger, her jaw set. She looked once more at her tearful wife ignoring Delia’s pleas to just ignore it, before flinging the door open. Both boys paled as they saw who was stood at the door. Eddie stood up, scrambling to distance himself from James, but the latter boy sat still, his face drained of colour. 

“Get out.” Patsy managed to spit out.

“Dr Mount I can-“ Eddie began,

“Get your stuff and get out of my hospital.” Patsy growled.

“But Dr Mount we didn’t mean-“ 

“Any offence? What you said?” Patsy raised her eyebrows, “Well… that’s unfortunate isn’t it? Either get yourselves out or I’ll ring security.” 

“What about our placement?” James asked.

“You won’t be requiring any more placements.” Patsy spat, “I’m going to personally ensure that neither of you ever set foot in another hospital again. Your views have no place in society, let alone in an institution such as this. Now, last chance, leave.” 

Both boys deciding not to argue any further grabbed their bags. James stormed out, still cocky enough to have an air about him but Eddie stopped as he was passing Patsy. 

“Dr Mount, really I’m so sorry I-“

“It’s too late for ‘sorry’ Mr Dennis.” Patsy snapped, “Go.” 

As he passed her, his head bowed, Patsy closed her eyes. She wanted to scream, shout and cry. She wanted to beat the pair of their faces to a pulp. She wanted to make them feel the pain she felt, the pain she knew Delia would be feeling and she wanted them to suffer. Sometimes it was easy to forget that homophobia stilled existed, that her sexuality was a turn on for stupid young boys like James and that not everyone supported the love she and Delia shared. Maybe they’d allowed themselves to be too surrounded by support that they’d forgotten… Patsy shook her head, no it wasn’t that, it was a case of society had moved on. 

She turned, kicking herself as she noticed Delia was nowhere to be seen. She bit her lip. She had two options - the first would be to the find Delia straight away. The second? To go and ring the University and let them know exactly what those boys had done and said, ensure they’re medical careers would be over for good and then find her wife. She decided upon the latter. Delia liked solitude when things went wrong - crowding her now would make her irritable and no doubt lash out. Besides, Patsy herself needed a moment to process what had happened. 

She stormed off to her office, ignoring Winifred and Barbara who both tried to collar her on route. She sat down, picked up her phone and dialled the number of the University supervisor. She might not be able to do much about certain people’s views, but she could ensure they stayed well out of the NHS.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. I'm mean... but Patsy kicked ass right? This chapter is actually a nod to the person who asked me to write a oneshot about Patsy and Delia coming across homophobia during pregnancy on What Feelings Sound Like.. i hope Patsy kicked enough ass for you!
> 
> Thank to everyone who comments, leaves kudos and reads. You've encouraged me so much that I've finished writing this. Now I just need to post all the chapters! We're nearly there though so thank you for sticking with it!


	37. Knight in Patent Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy checks up on Delia...

Delia stared at the fish in the pond. She wondered if they had all this drama and prejudice or if they said who they could and couldn’t love, if they had any care at all who did what? She could see the largest of the fish swimming in circles, deftly avoiding other fish. She could see a smaller fish nibbling on a weed that was growing in the corner - she wondered what it would be like to have that as her only concern.

She’d left as soon as Patsy opened the door. She didn’t want to stick around to listen to what would be said. She didn’t want the embarrassment of them knowing that she’d been stood there, listening. Why had she just stood there? Why hadn’t she stormed in and put them to rights? Why had she waited until Patsy, of all bloody people, had intervened? She felt cowardly. She rammed her face into her hands - no she wasn't going to cry again.

She felt rather than heard Patsy sit next to her. The older woman didn’t say a word for a few moments, didn’t move either, simply sat staring at the pond. Delia too looked back to the pond, the fish mesmerising. 

“It’s a long time since we sat here.” Patsy murmured. “Watching the fish.” Delia hummed so Patsy continued, “They’re gone.”

“What?” Delia asked.

“The… those two.” Patsy spat, “And they won’t be back.”

“You’ve had them transferred?” 

“I’ve had them kicked off their courses.” Patsy responded.

Delia turned to her wife, “Pats-“

“They deserve it.” Patsy growled, “Don’t tell me you think I’ve been too harsh?” 

“I’m angry beyond words Pats… I’m hurt beyond words for both of us… but I… did you let them speak?” Delia asked quietly.

“Nothing they could have said could have put that right. I’m not having it. I’m not having views like that on my ward, in my hospital or in society as a whole.” Patsy took a breath, “Do you remember the first time you were called a dyke?”

Delia stared at Patsy, her mouth agape, she hesitated a moment before nodding.

“So do I.” Patsy replied, “I was fifteen. I barely even knew that I saw women in that way.”

“Patsy I know this story.” Delia placed her hand over Patsy’s.

“I know you do but if you seriously think that I should have heard them out then maybe you need reminding of it. Maybe you need to think back to that first time and remember how it made you feel. Or how it has felt every time since. I used to get upset and angry. I used to want to do something. So, now that I can, I did because I won’t have anyone, least of all my wife, spoke about in that way.”  Patsy looked at Delia, unsure of her words now that she’d said them. 

Delia nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks as she collapsed into Patsy, sobbing into her wife’s chest. Patsy held her tight, her own tears falling as she buried her face in Delia’s hair. 

“I’m sorry-“ Delia breathed, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise, not to me.” Patsy whispered, “It’s your diplomatic, compassionate nature that I love… and it’s probably saved my bacon more than a few times.” 

“I just… do people really think that about us?” Delia whispered, “Is it selfish of us to have a child when we know that they might be bullied because of us?”

“We can give our baby love, support and a decent grounding.” Patsy promised, “And haven’t I just proven that I’ll sort any homophobes out?” 

“My knight in patent heels.” Delia chuckled. “Are you alright?” She asked after a moment.

“It’s not easy.” Patsy murmured, “It hurt but more than anything? I just wanted to make sure you were ok. None of what they said was true.”

“You are the better-“

“You’re beautiful.” Patsy cut her off. “Inside and out.” 

“Pats-“ 

“You’re the most incredible wife and you’re going to be the most amazing Mum.” Patsy finished. 

“You’ve set me off crying again.” Delia said wiping her eyes. Patsy chuckled handing her a tissue, “Thanks.”

“Shall we head back? We’ve only got an hour and we finish, unless you want to go home… we can go home?” Patsy suggested.

“Can we go to McDonalds?” Delia asked.

“Delia I’m going to turn into a McDonalds!” Patsy grumbled lightly as she stood up and held her hand out, “You could have chosen a less fattening craving.”

“I just want a Crunchie McFlurry. You’re the one who keeps buying fries and milkshakes.” 

“I’m getting sympathy cravings.” Patsy smirked. 

“You’ll know how urgent it is we go to McDonalds then.” 

Patsy sighed with a gentle nod… a McDonalds might be exactly what the Doctor ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for your lovely comments. I'm always so pleased to receive them! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	38. The Moral High Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy has a visitor and Delia takes the moral high ground.

Patsy stood behind Delia, smiling as the couple in front of them cooed over their new baby. Delia turned to face Patsy, winking slightly. Both women were thinking about how it would soon be them, holding their baby.

“We’ll leave you to it.” Patsy spoke up. When they got outside she turned to Delia. “Good work Nurse Busby-Mount.” She paused, looking down the corridor before taking her hand discreetly, “How are you?”

“I’m fine Pats… honestly.” 

After quickly finishing their shifts the day before and after a feast at McDonalds, the two women had returned to their flat where they’d held one another and spoke about everything that had happened. They’d laughed with tears of joy when they felt their child kick against their joined hands  - revelling in the love they already had for them. Delia had finally admitted to how the afternoons alteration had really made her feel and Patsy was determined to make her wife feel better - in anyway she could.

“I’m going to get on.” Patsy murmured, “If you need me-“

“I’ll call you.” Delia promised, knowing that unless she did there was no way Patsy would leave her to get on with things. “Go.”

Patsy nodded with a smile before turning away. As she walked on to the ward, Phyllis walked over, her demeanour one of utter discomfort. 

“Patsy.” Phyllis said tightly, “You have a visitor. I tried to make him go home but he was quite insistent, how he has the-“

“Who is it?” Patsy frowned.

“Student Doctor… Well, Eddie Dennis.” Phyllis responded, “Some bare-faced cheek if you ask me. I’ve told him to leave but he’s set on speaking to you.”

“He’s brave.” Patsy huffed, “Escort him to my office. I’d like you to remain present.” She remembered Delia’s words from yesterday and the Welsh woman’s urge to let the boys have their say. “I’ll give him five minutes.”

Sat in her office waiting, Patsy glanced at the picture of herself and Delia on her desk. She turned it slightly. She wondered what Delia was doing? She wondered what Delia would say if she knew Eddie was here? She wondered if Delia would think she was doing the right thing? Either way, she didn’t have time to think about it as a stern Phyllis frogmarched the man into the office. He stood awkwardly as she shut the door behind him. Patsy barely looked up, merely waving a hand at the chair.

“I’m sure you’re well aware this ward is exceptionally busy Mr Dennis.” Patsy finally looked up, her glare icy and chilling. “So say whatever it is you have to say. Neither Nurse Crane nor myself have time for this.”

Eddie sat down, he swallowed, before finally speaking. “I wanted to apologise. I wanted to say sorry to you and to Nurse Busby.” 

“I’ll pass on your apologies.” Patsy said, her tone cool. “I’m sure my wife will appreciate them.” 

“I also want to say that I don’t think that way. I… that is… what we were talking about and the things said, they were deplorable. I accept that.”

“So you should.”

“But they aren’t my true views. The thing is… James was just so confident and I… I didn’t know how to act around him. I didn’t want him to see I was nervous and I just went along with it.” Eddie sighed, “I know that was wrong of me but I just wanted him to think I was alright.” 

“And you think that changes things?” Patsy asked. 

“No.” Eddie sighed. “I’m not doing this to try and get you to change anything… I’m doing this because I know I was wrong and I’ve spent all night awake thinking about it.” 

“I appreciate your honesty.” Patsy replied, “But actions have consequences and I submitted my report to the University instantly. Whilst I sympathise in some sense that you were under pressure from your peers, I can’t forgive what you said or agreed with. You need to be strong and stand up to people who say the wrong things, not try and fit in. That’s not the stamp of a good doctor and it’s not the stamp of a good man either.”

“No.”

“So grow up.” Patsy spat, “Stop acting like your still in a playground and have some backbone.” 

“Of course, Dr Mount.” 

“Stand up for what is right.” Patsy finished, “I thank you for coming in and offering your apologies but we must get on. I wish you luck in the future but that future will not be upon this ward or in this hospital.” 

“Thank you Dr Mount.” Eddie responded, “And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too… that a promising young doctor has ruined his career before it’s even begun.” Patsy replied, “I will tell your supervisor that you’ve been here today although whether it will make a difference is another matter.” 

“Thank you.” Eddie repeated.

“Come along.” Phyllis ushered him out. 

The older woman spared one last look at Patsy who had her gaze trained on her left hand. Phyllis sighed, closing the door before nodding her head at Eddie to follow her. As she marched him towards the exit, she heard him sniffle and turned.

“It’s no good crying now lad.” Phyllis remarked.

“I’ve been an idiot.” He sighed. 

“You have.” Phyllis agreed. “But I think you did the right thing coming here today. It’s very brave of you and I know Doctor Mount appreciates it.” 

“She’s got every right to hate me.” Eddie replied, “But I wanted to apologise, in person. I wanted her to see that I’m not this big, homophobic monster.” He came to a stop and looked back at the hospital, Phyllis waited patiently, “My brother is gay. He’s only fifteen - came out about three months ago. He was so worried about what people would think of him, what I’d think of him. I wasn’t bothered, he’s still my brother and he’s the same cocky little shit he’s always been.” 

Phyllis hummed in amusement. She glanced away for a second, noticing a quiet Delia stood just to the boys side, her finger to her lips. 

“I realised last night that if anyone had said anything like that about my brother, I’d go mad. I then realised I’d have to tell him the truth about why I’m possibly being kicked out of med school and I was so ashamed of myself. He stands up for who he is Nurse Crane, doesn’t give a shit now. He says this is me, I’m gay, so what, get over it. Yet there I was, pretending to share the views that caused him so much grief, for what? To be seen as ‘alright’ by a snob. So desperate to fit in, I betrayed who I was.” 

“We’ve all wanted to fit in at some point.” 

Eddie spun, his mouth hanging wide as he noticed Delia stood to the side. 

“I was the only Welsh person on my course.” Delia continued, “I always felt like people didn’t quite accept me. At first, I tried to be more like them - go to ridiculous club nights I had no interest in, spend a fortune on make-up I’d never wear and clothes so garish I didn’t even try them on. But then, I got talking to Pats- that is, Dr Mount… I realised that she didn’t like all that either.” Delia sighed, “The thing is Eddie, you can’t please everyone and not everyone is the same. Some people just don’t gel and that’s fine, but you’ll always find someone with similar interests to you. You just have to search for them and be true to yourself.” 

“I don’t deserve your kindness Nurse Busby.” Elliot whispered.

“I’m sure my wife has already given you the what for. Stand up for what’s right, Eddie, if not for yourself then for your brother. Look after him… no matter how confident he is or popular, there’ll come a day when he’s subject to… unpleasantries regarding his sexuality. Be there for him.” 

“I will.” Eddie promised, “And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of what I said… and well, I hope things go well… you know, like the baby is healthy and stuff and you have a nice… I dunno… birth and stuff.” 

“Thank you Eddie.” Delia smiled, “Nurse Crane, I’m going to head to clinic. Nurse Gilbert mentioned she was setting off shortly too.” 

“Very well.” Phyllis smiled. “Come along young Eddie.” 

Delia spared the boy one last smile before turning. He watched her go - astounded by her kindness. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter. I wanted to make it clear that consequences have actions and people can do shitty things but sometimes, it's not as black and white as it first appears. I did some work in a school a few years back and there was a kid being a real homophobe. When I sat down and spoke to him though, it turned out he was struggling with his own sexuality and was just doing it to 'keep up with his mates'. Yet it landed him in deep trouble because he'd done it and he had to pay his dues.   
> I'm launching into a random story now so I'll stop! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed and thanks as always for reading, the kudos and the comments!


	39. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babs has a secret, Delia wants to find out what it is.   
> Trixie is organising a secret and is involving Patsy whether she likes it or not...  
> And Patsy is a total babe to Delia...

 

Delia stood hands on hips as Barbara placed the last chair away. She knew the younger Nurse was up to something and she was determined to find out what. 

“Delia?” Barbara asked hesitantly.

“Don’t Delia me, Barbara Gilbert.” Delia said sternly, “Spill.”

“I-“ Barbara was about to protest but one look at Delia had her nodding. “You know my Father is a vicar?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well he’s been posted abroad… he’ll be gone for three years.” 

“Oh Babs-“ Delia began.

“Tom and I were planning on getting married next year.” Barbara continued, “But I don’t want to marry without my Dad there… I’d actually like him to marry us… but I also don’t want to wait three years.” 

“Alright…”

“My Dad leaves in a couple of months.” Barbara swallowed, “So we’ve decided to get married right before he goes.”

“Oh my…” Delia gasped, “Barbara that’s amazing!” She beamed hugging her friend as best she could, her protruding belly making it slightly harder than it might otherwise be. 

“I’m going to tell everyone tonight but I thought I should inform Patsy, Patrick and Julienne first.” Barbara smiled. 

“I hope you’re ready for the force of nature that will be Patsy and Trixie.” Delia chuckled.

“Patsy was excited just seeing the ring… well grass.” 

“Patsy loves a wedding.” Delia agreed with a chuckle.

—

“You need to get Delia to The Forest by three o’clock.” Trixie demanded. 

“I will but really you don’t all have to do this.” Patsy protested.

“Yes we do!” Trixie huffed, “Besides it’s already booked and I’ve printed off all the sheets.” 

“What sheets?”

“The ones where we guess the sex and weight, silly.” Trixie exclaimed, “And I’ve ordered the cake.”

“Trixie-“

“And the table is booked and everyone is coming. Patrick has agreed to cover for you.” Trixie smiled, “So there it’s all organised. Have her there.” 

“Alright, alright.” Patsy sighed, “But we really didn’t expect a baby shower, you’re all too kind as it is.” 

“Nonsense.”

“And you’re going to so much trouble-“

“Patsy, I’m about to get very cross with you.” Trixie scolded lightly. 

“Why what’s she done now?” Delia asked, walking up to where the two women were stood with Barbara towing behind her. 

“She’s refusing to let me try my new eyebrow kit out on her.” Trixie covered effortlessly. 

“What a tragedy.” Delia sighed dramatically, “Pats you really are a monster.” 

“See… she agrees.” Trixie smirked.

“Roll on Friday when Delia goes off on maternity leave.” Patsy winked cheekily, “No more being ganged up upon.” 

“Roll on when the baby is born and you go on… wait do you have maternity leave too or is still called paternity leave?” Trixie frowned. 

“Google it.” Patsy drawled. “I have things to do… you know, like deliver babies, save lives…” 

“Patsy.” Barbara spoke up after a slight nudge from Delia, “Can I have a quick word?”

“Of course.” Patsy smiled, “What’s up Babs?” 

“Oh, well… it’s just…” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m kind of… well Tom and I-“

“Don’t tell me your pregnant too!” Trixie exclaimed.

“Trixie!” Patsy reprimanded.

“No!” Barbara coughed, her cheeks reddening at the thought, “Erm no… we’re… that is we’re getting married.”

“Well we knew that Babs.” Patsy chuckled. “Have you got a date?”

“2nd December.” 

“Next year?” Patsy asked, ‘That’s plenty of time. We’ll sort something.”

“Erm no, this year.”

“Oh, oh wow… that’s quick.” Patsy gasped before grinning, “But super exciting! What’s with the sudden rush though? Oh my, I need to get an outfit… Trixie can we go outfit shopping?!” 

“Yes!” Trixie beamed, “Babs, we simply must take you on a hen night.” 

“We could go to Liverpool!” 

“To the Cavern Club!” Trixie added.

“You two, let Barbara finish… and let her have some say.” Delia scolded.

“Sorry Babs.” Patsy winced, “I do get a tad excited when it comes to weddings…”

“It’s nice you’re excited.” Barbara smiled gently, “Really, it means a lot that you are. The reason I’ve moved it forward is because my Dad is going away for three years and it’s either marry now or wait and well, we don’t want to.” 

“Quite right. I’ll ensure everyone you want there has the day off.” Patsy smiled, “Even if it means agency staff and locums.” 

“Thank you Patsy.”

“And I’ll ensure you look a million dollars.” Trixie promised.

Patsy and Delia shared a look, they knew exactly what that meant and that Barbara was in for a tough ride…

—

“It’s lovely news about Barbara isn’t it?” Patsy asked as she tottered around the bedroom in her flannel pyjamas, brushing her hair one last time before bed.

“Yes.” Delia responded half-heartedly, her gaze cast down towards where her hands rested on her stomach. She was stood in front of their mirror in her own pyjamas.

“What’s wrong?” Patsy asked immediately picking up on her wife’s tone and placing the brush down. 

Delia sighed as Patsy drew up behind her. She looked into the mirror at her ever changing body before raising her eyes to meet Patsy’s reflection. It seemed easier somehow to talk to Patsy through the mirror as opposed to turning around to face her. Especially when she looked so gorgeous and perfect and thin.

“I’m going to look like a beached whale.” Delia sighed, “I look monstrous and I feel ugly. I have nothing to wear to Babs’ wedding and I’m just gonna look a big fat mess on the photos.” 

Patsy smiled sadly before wrapping her arms around Delia from behind, her chin resting on the smaller woman’s shoulder.

“No you’re not.” Patsy whispered, “You’re going to look beautiful. You are beautiful.”

“I’m massive.” 

“You’re perfect.”

“I’m covered in stretch marks.”

“And you’ve never looked more beautiful.” Patsy promised, “Delia, you’re carrying our baby. You’ve not eaten too many pies or drank too much beer, you’re literally housing another human being - you do not look fat and you are not ugly.” Patsy pressed a kiss to her cheek, “You’re beautiful Delia, inside and out and right now, I’ve never loved you more.”

“You really mean that?” Delia whimpered, her voice catching.

“I do.” Patsy replied, “Besides, baby may be out by then. That date is very close to your due date.”

“It’s two days before.” Delia replied.

“Hmm… I’ll have to keep an eye on you Busby.” Patsy hummed, “I don’t want you over-doing it.” 

“I’ll be too big to overdo it.” Delia laughed.

“No comment.” Patsy winked, “I value my life.” 

“Cheek.” 

“I mean what I said Delia.” Patsy said more seriously, “You have never looked more beautiful… and I have never loved you more.”

“Really?” Delia asked finally turning around, her eyes darkening. 

“Really.” Patsy responded.

“Prove it.” Delia murmured.

“What?” 

“Prove it.” Delia responded, her lips pressing against her wife’s neck.

“Are you sure?” Patsy asked, “I… that is… we’ve not done this much since…”

“And I feel like I’m going to explode.” Delia whispered, her attack continuing as she trailed kisses along Patsy’s jaw.

“If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just tell me, I’ll stop and-“

“Patsy.” Delia huffed.

“What?” 

“Stop talking. It’s such a turn off…” Delia winked.

“I… right.” Patsy agreed before capturing Delia’s lips with her own.

It was going to be a long night…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading and commenting! We're speeding along to the end now! I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	40. Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves for a long fluff-filled chapter!

Patsy glanced nervously at her watch. It was already past one and although washed and dressed, Delia seemed reluctant to move from her current position. They’d been for a wander around the park that morning and upon returning, had set up camp in front of the TV watching documentaries on Netflix. Delia had led at one end of the sofa, moaning about her sore feet, prompting Patsy to sit at the other, lift her wife’s feet into her lap and begin massaging each one. 

“I must really love you.” Patsy murmured.

“I should hope so.” Delia responded. 

“I’m massaging your feet. That’s true love.” 

“Relationship Goals.” Delia hummed in amusement. “Oh, this is nice, cariad. Chilled Sunday afternoons just you and me.”

Patsy felt herself blanche slightly. She had to somehow get Delia to The Forest, a local restaurant, for three o’clock and by the sounds of things, Delia wasn’t planning on going anywhere soon. She wondered, possibly a little belatedly, if she should have planted the seed sooner instead of aiming for ‘Spontaneous Pats’ to make an appearance. 

“I love afternoons like this.” Patsy agreed, “But we are going to have to eat.”

“We’ll order take away.” Delia responded, waving her hand in dismissal of the idea of cooking.

“I don’t want take away Deels, I want something proper.” Patsy replied, “The Forest? Come on, my treat.”

“I dunno Pats, I can’t be bothered going out.”

“But I really, really, really fancy it.” Patsy whined, “Please Deels?”

“Are you mocking my cravings?” Delia asked, her eyebrow raised. “Just because I sent you to McDonalds at three in the morning for a McFlurry doesn’t mean you can start using my triple-use ‘really’ - I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?” 

“I am not mocking your cravings.” Patsy promised, “But I’ve told you, I’m having sympathy cravings!” 

“I don’t want to be there long.” Delia warned, “I just want to cuddle up with you under a ton of blankets in front of the fire.”

“I promise we can do that tonight.” Patsy smiled, “But right now…”

“Yes?” Delia prompted her eyes darkening. 

Under Delia’s lustful gaze, Patsy found herself momentarily speechless. Delia had been insatiable over the past week and the heated looks that passed between them daily more often than not descended into more. Patsy shook her head. They had places to be.

“Delia… no.” Patsy said sternly.

“But darling-“

“Food.” Patsy pointed her finger mockingly in warning. 

“Killjoy.” Delia huffed, forcing herself up slightly. 

“I’m playing the long game.” Patsy responded.

Delia snorted in response as she rose to her feet. 

“Food now…” Patsy murmured standing up herself and leaning down to whisper in Delia’s ear. “Energy later…”

-

Patsy breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled into the car park of the pub. It was just before three and she had been panicking the entire way there that Trixie was going to call or text her a thousand times if she’d been even a second late. Delia had been blissfully unaware (thankfully) and after finally getting up, had warmed to the idea of visiting one of their favourite haunts. 

“Let’s go.” Delia smiled, holding her hand out to Patsy who took it.

They walked to the door steadily, Patsy opting to drop Delia’s hand to politely open the door. Delia looked up at her to thank her but before she could utter a single word of gratitude, her name was called followed by a group of cheers. The Welshwoman gasped as she saw almost everyone from work gathered in her favourite corner of the pub, a sign reading ‘Busby-Mount’s baby shower’ visible from behind them all. Sister Monica Joan, an eccentric old Nun who sometimes visited the ward, was the first to break from the crowd, her hands reaching for her favourite Nurse and dragging her to the crowd.

“Nurse Busby-Mount, you are here at last. We must celebrate for God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” The Nun recited as she pulled the young Nurse towards her friends. 

“Thank you Sister.”

“Genesis.” Julienne smiled in recognition of the phrase. 

“Delia!” Trixie called, ignoring the religious talk, “Come take a seat!”

“This is such a surprise.” Delia beamed, “I can’t believe you’re all here… and look at all this!” 

“You can thank Trixie for most of this.” Shelagh smiled, “She rallied the troops.”

Patsy stood back, watching with a smile as a delighted Delia was sat down and Trixie began organising everyone into their own seats. Patsy smirked as she noticed Trixie had every seat perfectly set up with pens, paper, drinks and some nibbles. She found herself overwhelmed as she took it all in - touched that her best friend would organise this, that they had so many friends who would give up their Sundays to celebrate with them and grateful for the life she’d found. 

“This is for you too, Patsy.” Julienne said calmly, coming to stand next to Patsy.

“I know.” Patsy hummed, “I guess I’m just struggling to believe that this is my life. That Delia is my wife, you’re all my friends and that very soon, I’ll be a Mother.” 

“You deserve it all, my dear girl.” Julienne clasped Patsy’s hand in her own, “You both do.” 

Patsy was about to respond when Trixie called her name, tottering over and grabbing her by the hand. Patsy allowed herself to be dragged to the seat next to Delia, sitting down with a warm smile shot in her wife’s direction. Delia, glassy eyed and grinning, ran her hand down Patsy’s arm in greeting - it might not have been the afternoon she’d planned, but Delia couldn’t think of a better way in which she’d wish to spend it. 

—

“You knew didn’t you?” Delia asked as she and Patsy led in bed later that evening. 

“I knew Trixie had organised something, I didn’t quite realise the scale.” Patsy admitted, her hand rubbing circles on Delia’s shoulder. She glanced over at the pile of presents and cards over the other end of the room and sighed, “It’s so lovely of everyone to come and be so generous.”

“We’re very lucky.” Delia agreed. She sighed, “It so weird that you’re going to work tomorrow and I’m not.”

“Enjoy it.” 

“Oh I will.”

Patsy huffed jokingly, groaning slightly as Delia’s phone began to ring. Delia pulled a face as she noted it was her Mother calling on Facetime. She found herself cursing the day she’d ever persuaded her to buy an iPad and then the day she’d taught her how to use it and in turn, how to FaceTime.

“Ignore it.” Patsy murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Delia’s neck. 

“I can’t ignore it Pats. I’ve not spoken to her or Dad for nearly a month.” 

“But we’re in bed… at six thirty.” Patsy added, biting her lip, her arms wrapping even tighter around her wife.

“I’m answering it.” Delia responded firmly, “And don't you dare pull away, I’m comfy.” She warned answering the call and waiting for the screen to load. She grinned as she noticed her Mam and Dad crammed together to fit on the screen, “Mam and Dad.” 

“Hello Cariad.” Mr Busby responded joyfully, “and Patsy.”

Patsy couldn’t help but smile in spite of herself. Mr Busby was a warm man with an utterly infectious character. At first, Patsy had thought he would be stern, serious and beyond traditional - after all, Mrs Busby had made such a fuss about Delia telling her Dad about her sexuality and how it would ‘make him cry’. In reality, it had done the exact opposite. The bumbling man had hugged his daughter, hugged her girlfriend and declared he was happy they were happy. Although Mr Busby’s business and shop meant he rarely made it up to London to see them, he always made sure to ring at least once a month and Patsy knew that Delia had no doubts about her Father’s love for her or indeed his pride.

“Are you in bed already?”

Patsy had to fight the urge to roll her eyes and mutter ‘I told you so’ to Delia. She heard Delia inhale sharply and squeezed her slightly, a quiet show of support. As usual, Mrs Busby was holding them to high standards and Patsy imagined that seeing them cuddled up in bed on a Sunday evening, was not her idea of proper. 

“It’s been a long day Mam.” Delia responded. “And my back was aching so Patsy suggested getting in bed.” 

“Is Patsy’s back hurting too?” Mrs Busby demanded.

“No.” Delia sighed.

“Leave them be Enid.” Mr Busby demanded, “She’s growing my grandchild and if she needs rest then she needs rest.”

“I’m also up at four to start my shift.” Patsy added, unable to help herself.

“Then it’s very sensible you’re in bed.” Mr Busby responded.

“So what’s caused you to have such a long day?” Mrs Busby asked, evidently peeved that she’d been ganged up upon and lost.

“Trixie threw a surprise baby shower with all our friends there.” Delia smiled.

“That’s nice.” Mr Busby beamed.

“And how are you cariad? Looking after yourself I hope?” Mrs Busby continued.

“Yes Mam.” Delia struggled to keep the sarcasm out of her tone.

Mr Busby picking up on the growing tension (and having a lifetime of practise) quickly dispelled it. “Now, we won’t keep you much longer as we know you’re tired carried but we wondered if you two would be coming for Christmas?” 

Patsy swallowed and glanced at Delia who bit her lip as she too looked to Patsy. Delia didn’t say a word, evidently not knowing what to say and so Patsy, as she had done so many times in the past, took control.

“It’s really a little too early to say.” Patsy responded, “The thing is, Delia is due at the start of December and it really does depend on how she and baby are. It’s a long journey and… well, we understand if you're planning and need to know now but…”

“Oh Patsy of course!” Mr Busby exclaimed, “And there’s no rush, we just wanted to know if, all being well, you’d like too.”

“We’d love to.” Patsy replied, “But as I say it does depend on how Delia and baby are.” 

“You’re doing a good job of looking after my girl, Patsy.” Mr Busby beamed proudly, “And my grandchild.”

“Thank you Mr Busby.” Patsy blushed.

“I’ve told you it’s Dai. Anyway, we’ll let you get some rest. We can always call you when you’re less busy. It’s just nice to see the both of you. Good night.”

“Night Dad, Mam.” 

With the goodbyes said, Delia threw her phone on the side and turned to face her wife, her face screwed jokily. Patsy chuckled before pulling her closer and depositing a kiss on her head.

“I love my Mam but she’s exhausting and Dad is just so jolly.” Delia moaned into Patsy’s chest.

“Hmm, is someone grumpy?” Patsy teased.

Delia nodded.

“I’m tired, I’m sore and I’m currently being kicked to death.” 

Patsy ran her hand soothingly over Delia’s stomach, smiling as she felt the movements beneath her hand.

“Not long until we meet them.” She whispered huskily.

“No.” Delia grinned, “And despite everything? I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this huge chapter and also the introduction of Mr Busby!   
> Thanks to everyone who is reading, commenting and leaving kudos as always. They're certainly cheering me up as I sit full of a cold feeling sorry for myself!


	41. Gatecrasher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast forward... it's Barbara and Tom's wedding and there's a gatecrasher! ;)

“Are you sure you feel alright?” Patsy fussed as she finished putting Delia’s shoes on for her, “You’ve not felt any-“

“Patsy.” Delia cut her off in annoyance. “I’ve told you, I feel fine. I’m coming to this wedding.” 

“I just want to look after you, Delia.” Patsy responded, “You’re due any day and looking at you, baby is well and truly ready.” 

“I know you do, and I love you for it.” Delia smiled, caressing Patsy’s cheek as the redhead knelt in front of her, “I promise, if I feel even the slightest change, I’ll tell you. Alright?”

“Alright.” Patsy smiled bashfully, leaning forward to kiss Delia gently, “You look beautiful by the way.”

Delia blushed. After making Patsy order her fifteen dresses online, she’d eventually opted for a simple floral number. It was surprisingly elegant for a maternity dress and she was surprised by just how brilliant she felt. Patsy had found her some pretty flat shoes to wear and had opted herself to wear flats in what she was terming ‘solidarity’ but what Delia actually suspected was a mix of avoiding the usual sore feet and not towering over her. The height difference was evident as it was, with Patsy in heels it would surely be ridiculous.

“You scrub up quite well yourself.” Delia responded running her hand over Patsy’s simple yet graceful green dress. 

“Shall we?” Patsy asked standing up and holding her hand out to help Delia up, “It’s starting to snow so I thought we’d better make tracks. I ordered an Uber so it should be here any second.” 

“A white wedding.” Delia smiled as Patsy helped her into her coat. “Quite romantic isn’t it?”

“As long as it doesn’t cause too many problems later!” Patsy responded.

“Stop being a killjoy.” Delia teased.

Patsy was saved having to respond by her phone dinging and notifying her the Uber had arrived.

—

Barbara and Tom’s wedding had been positively lovely. By the time Patsy and Delia had arrived at the Church the snow had already settled, creating a thick layer of white that neither could remember seeing in London before. The wedding however had warmed everyone up as Barbara and Tom finally tied the knot under the watchful eye of Barbara’s father. Both Patsy and Delia had shed a tear as they watched their friends celebrate their love. Half way through Patsy had taken Delia’s hand, both their minds drifting back to their own wedding and how far they'd come. 

The reception for the wedding was taking place at the cricket club. Tom had somehow hired a huge merry-go-round and until ten minutes ago everyone had been on it - including Delia and Patsy - until the snow had turned into a snowstorm and forced everyone inside. Now, everyone was on the dance floor, dancing away to ‘Superman’… everyone except for Delia who had opted to sit it out, more than content to watch her (more than just slightly tipsy) wife enjoy herself with their friends. She ran her hand over her stomach, taking a deep breath as she felt a pain shoot through her. She’d not had any braxton hicks at all until now, but if these were anything to go by, she was not looking forward to labour.

“Superman!” 

Delia couldn't help but laugh as she saw Patsy take off across the dance floor. She could see her bouncing around with Trixie, Barbara and Chummy and felt a warmth fill her. There was nothing more beautiful than seeing Patsy let her hair down. 

“Hello Delia.” 

Delia smiled as she saw Lucy approaching. The student Doctor had made such an impression on the ward that Barbara had invited her and her girlfriend to the evening. 

“You don’t mind me joining you? It’s just everyone is dancing including Anna and… well you were all alone.” 

“You’re not into dancing?” Delia asked, patting the seat beside her.

“No… plus I’m not drinking.” Lucy winked.

“That makes two of us.” Delia laughed. “Unlike someone else.” Delia winked as the song ended and she saw (and heard) Patsy making her way towards her. 

“Deels!” Patsy exclaimed, “And Lucy!” 

“Hello Cariad.” Delia drawled, “Having fun?” 

“Lots!” Patsy beamed picking up her bottle of wine, frowning as it only filled a quarter of her glass. 

“I think that’ll do you.” Delia laughed, taking the bottle out of Patsy’s hand. “You’ve drank that all by yourself and that’s before we count the bubbly from earlier and the gin and the tequila shot.” 

“I’m not meant to be drinking this much.” Patsy gasped, grabbing Delia’s hands. “Do you forgive me?” 

“Patsy there is nothing to forgive, you’re the one who put a limit on yourself.”

“But you’re so close.” Patsy said sipping her wine, “Lucy, do you want a drink?”

“No, I’m not drinking.” Lucy laughed, enjoying seeing her former mentor so far gone.

“Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Barbara and Tom to the dance floor for their first dance!” The DJ called who had lost his headphones to Monica Joan. 

Patsy stood up excitedly, holding her hand out to Delia. “We must go watch it, Lucy find Anna! Come on!” 

Lucy laughed as Patsy dragged Delia towards the dance floor where Tom and Barbara had already began dancing to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’. They watched happily until the DJ invited all the other couples to join in. Patsy gently pulled Delia to the dance floor, wrapping her arms the best she could around her and swaying slowly to the music.

“You’re perfect for me.” Patsy whispered huskily as she rested her forehead on Delia’s for a moment. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, you sentimental fool.” Delia hummed lightly, reaching up to peck Patsy on the lips.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Patsy murmured, “Our beginnings, moving in together, getting engaged, our wedding day…” She paused, “The honeymoon.” She wiggled her eyebrows causing Delia to laugh, “And just being your wife… working alongside you, living alongside you… and now…” Patsy placed her hand on her wife’s stomach, “Now, we’re about to meet our baby… in a matter of days-“

As Patsy was speaking, Delia gasped as a pain shot through her.

“Deels?” Patsy’s alcohol fuelled haze seemed to lift instantly as Delia’s face screwed in pain.

“Braxton Hicks.” Delia hummed.

“We can go home?” Patsy suggested.

“No… they’ve just started.” Delia responded, “Let’s not cause a fuss, it won’t be long until this wraps up anyway.” 

“Delia-“

“Please Pats.” 

“Alright, but you let me know if you need anything-“

“The loo right now.” Delia chuckled.

“Come on…” Patsy took her wife’s hand and led her tenderly towards the toilets, “You’re not leaving my sight.” 

As Patsy opened the door, Delia was struck by a harsh pain. Patsy held her, panic filling her features. She was about to speak when she heard a pop… a sound she knew all too well. Delia glanced up at her in shock. Patsy looked down…

“Oh dear.” Delia whispered. “My…”

“Waters have broken.” Patsy took a breath. “Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby is on the way! Hurray! Only took 41 chapters haha! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with it and still continue to read and leave comments. It's so appreciated! 
> 
> Also forgive any medical errors I've neither had a child or have any medical knowledge!


	42. Special Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a special delivery aka WHAT YA'LL BEEN WAITING FOR!

“Right, don’t panic…” Patsy murmured, “Oh shit, I’m too drunk for this. Delia, I’m shit faced and your waters have broke and… I knew I shouldn’t have drank…”

“Go get-“ Delia began just as the door opened, “Phyllis!” 

“Delia?” Phyllis took a moment to register what was happening before springing into action. “We need to get you somewhere more comfortable lass and we need to find someone who hasn’t had a drink.” 

“Who can drive!” Patsy exclaimed.

“To deliver lass.” Phyllis corrected. “The snow is causing havoc on the roads. This baby isn’t waiting.” 

“Oh God… right… oh giddy…”

“Patsy.” Delia’s snapped through gritted teeth, “Calm down… go and ask if anyone isn’t drunk…”

“I’m sorry I should be-“

“Patsy, I want you to hold my hand and help me through it, not deliver this baby… go!” Delia groaned, the pain in it, caused Patsy to spring into action as Phyllis held onto Delia.

Patsy dashed into the room, she looked around. The music was so loud and- that was it. She dashed to the DJ, turning his music down and grabbing his microphone, unthinking and uncaring of his protests.

“Is there a midwife or doctor here who hasn’t had a drink?” Patsy called out urgently.

“I haven’t.” Trixie called, “But I’m wearing huge nails…” She added, “Why? What’s wrong? Is it Delia?” 

“Yes… is there a back room?”

“Yes! Over here!” Called the barman, pointing to a room, “We have blankets too, towels… hot water, anything you need.” 

“Where is she?” Trixie asked, reaching Patsy and taking the microphone out of her hand. 

“Toilets.” Patsy exclaimed.

“Dr Mount.” Lucy’s voice cut through the air, “And Nurse Franklin, I know I’m not qualified but I know what to do, I’ve not had a drink and well, I don’t have false nails on… I can assist.”

“We’ll make quite a team sweetie.” Trixie promised, “Now, I’m going to wash my hands and so is Lucy. Patsy get Delia in to the back room and comfortable and then ask Phyllis to go and get her kit out of the car - I know she always carries one in case of emergencies.” 

Patsy nodded, running off in the direction of the bathroom. The reality of the situation was sobering her up quickly. She entered and immediately grabbed hold of Delia’s arm.

“We’re moving you to a back room, you’ll be more comfortable.” 

“Patsy… what if?”

“No what ifs.” Patsy demanded, “You’ll be fine, I promise you. Phyllis could you get your kit out of your car?”

“Of course.”

Some time later, Delia was led on a sofa, blankets all around her, propped on pillows in the back room of the cricket club. Trixie and Lucy were working in perfect tandem, and Phyllis was hanging around in the background, ready to assist in anyway she could. Patsy sat with Delia, holding her close. One arm was wrapped around her shoulders, the other holding her hand as Delia went through the motions she had helped so many other women through before her.

“You’re doing amazing Deels.” Patsy told her.

“You’re fully dilated sweetie.” Trixie smiled looking up at Delia who nodded, “Just listen to me and be ready to push when I say… we’ll soon have this baby out and in your arms.” 

“I feel like I need to push-“

“Not yet sweetie.” Trixie placed her hand up, “Just wait until I say… Lucy are you ready with the towel? I’m afraid it’s all back to basics but everything seems perfect. Ok, sweetie, push.” 

Delia groaned, squeezing Patsy’s hand as hard as she could. Patsy focussed on helping her wife breath as she came out of it, breathing in sync with her in order to regulate her breathing.

“Head is born!” Trixie grinned, “You’re doing amazing.”

“You hear that Deels?” Patsy beamed. “You’re so close now… and you’re doing brilliantly. I’m so proud of you.” 

“I just want it over.” Delia whined.

“And it will be so soon.” Patsy promised, “You can do this Delia. You’re almost there…” 

“Ok sweetie, one big push… ready? Push.” Trixie urged. “Lucy be ready… you’ll have to catch baby.”

“I’m ready.” Lucy smiled.

“Come on Deels!” Patsy encouraged as Delia grit her teeth, a pained cry leaving her as she pushed as hard as she could…

“I can’t.” Delia cried through it.

“Yes you can!” Trixie and Phyllis both said at the same time.

“Delia, I believe in you.” Patsy promised, ‘Keep pushing, that’s it… keep going…”

“Yes!” Trixie called as Lucy caught the baby. 

Delia flopped against Patsy in pure exhaustion as a cry rang out across the room. Patsy and Delia both laughed gleefully. Patsy pressed a kiss into Delia’s hair as she held her tight, Trixie cut the cord before sitting back allowing Lucy to wrap the baby in the warm towels and hand the baby over to Delia who cried with joy.

“A gorgeous baby girl.” Trixie whispered, her voice choked. 

“Oh she’s perfect.” Patsy whispered, tears falling as she gazed down at their daughter for the first time. 

“Hello.” Delia whispered. 

“I’ll let everyone know the happy news.” Phyllis excused herself, as did Lucy, leaving just Trixie who focussed on the afterbirth.

“Thank you.” Patsy cried, “Oh god, she’s perfect, you’re incredible… I-“

She broke off as Delia leant into her. Patsy extended her finger, smiling as their daughter immediately wrapped her tiny hand around it. Both giggled, before Patsy turned to Delia. 

“Thank you.” She whispered again, “I love you… both of you.”

“We love you too.” Delia responded, before slowly kissing her wife. Their foreheads remaining together.

“Everything is all good here.” Trixie said quietly not wanting to break the moment. “Barbara rang the hospital and told them what had gone on… they’re sending someone with a 4x4 to get you then you can and baby can have a good checkover.” 

“Thank you Trix.” Delia said sincerely. 

“No need to thank me. It’s been an honour… It’s not often I’m thankful for my past… but tonight I am because if I still drank, I wouldn’t have been able to share this with my two best friends.” Trixie whispered, “She’s beautiful. Did you have a name in mind?”

Patsy looked down at Delia and smiled as the Welsh woman took the lead, “Emilee… Emilee Grace Busby-Mount.” 

“Perfect.” Trixie beamed, “Well it’s very nice to meet you Miss Emilee.” Trixie directed at the baby, “I’ll give you two a couple of moments together.” 

As Trixie left and they were left alone, a serene atmosphere overcame the room. They didn’t need words in that moment for they had everything they needed in holding one another and basking in the first few precious moments with their daughter. They chuckled as they heard a cheer from outside the room - Phyllis has evidently told everyone. Delia sighed, pressed a kiss to Emilee’s head before holding her towards Patsy.

“Want to hold your daughter?” Delia asked quietly. 

Patsy nodded tearfully, carefully adjusting position and taking Emilee skilfully into her arms. She couldn’t help but chuckle as she did, pressing her own featherlight kiss upon her daughter’s forehead. She wanted to turn to Delia and declare her love, her gratitude and her disbelief that this was all real. She wanted to explain how this didn’t feel like her life, that she couldn’t believe that they’d come this far or that she, Patience Mount, finally had a family. She wanted to say all of that but she couldn’t find the words, the usual eloquence clouded by love and emotion, as she held the tiny person she’d forever be responsible for. 

“I know.” Delia whispered, pressing a kiss Patsy’s shoulder. 

Patsy smiled, they’d spent so many years unable to talk that she wasn’t surprised that Delia knew exactly what she was thinking. She was about to speak when a quiet knock sounded upon the door. Both women looked up to see Barbara enter. The younger woman grinning widely as she noticed the little girl wrapped snugly in a bundle of blankets.

“I just came to let you know Jane has arrived to take you to the hospital.” Barbara whispered so as not to disturb the peaceful scene. “Phyllis was coming to get you but I insisted… she’s already seen-“

“Emilee.” Delia supplied. “Sorry she chose to upstage you at your own wedding…”

“It’s the best wedding gift I could have asked for.” Barbara responded genuinely, “She’s beautiful.”

“And she’s evidently just like her Mummy…” Delia teased despite her exhaustion, nudging Patsy, “A complete and utter lack of patience.” 

“At least she isn’t called Patience.” Patsy hummed. “Come on, do you feel able to stand and walk?” 

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.” Delia admitted, “But I’ll be alright.”

“I’ll get some help.”  Barbara suggested.

“Already here sweetie.” Trixie announced, walking through the door with Chummy. “Patsy we’ll help Delia up if you want to keep hold of Emilee.” 

“Oh what a beautiful name.” Chummy gushed, “Congratulations.” She added. “Now old thing, let’s get you up and to hospital then you can have a jolly good checkover.” 

As Chummy, Trixie and Barbara all helped Delia, Patsy stood a little away watching with Emilee in her arms. She looked down at her daughter, struck by the blueness of her eyes that were so alike to Delia’s, and smiled.

“I love you.” She whispered, “And I promise no matter what, I’ll always be here for you.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby is here and it's a girl! Yay! There's still a few chapters left though ;)


	43. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr and Mrs Busby meet their granddaughter and Trixie proves herself to be the MVP.

“Eight pounds one!” Winifred beamed as she handed Emilee back to Delia. “And both you and baby in perfect health. We’ll keep you in overnight just to make sure everything is ship-shape and in Bristol fashion but I imagine you’ll be home first thing in the morning.” 

“Thank you.” Patsy responded. “I guess I’ll have some work to do then?” 

Winifred frowned.

“Patsy was going to spend her hungover Sunday building all the cot and putting everything together.” Delia explained. 

“I see.” Winifred replied, a plan hatching in her mind. “Well I’m sure you’ll be fine, people survived with just a sock drawer a few years ago!” 

“True.” Patsy hummed.

“I’ll leave you to two it.” Winifred replied. “Let me know when little Emilee has had her first feed. She should start rooting very soon. And don't worry, I’ll look out for your parents.”

“Thank you. I tried to fend them off but my Mam was insistent. Hopefully Dad will persuade her to leave us be until the morning.” 

Winifred said no more, instead leaving with a slight giggle. Patsy sighed as she sat beside Delia, watching as Emilee, just as predicted, began to root. 

“Dinnertime it seems.” Patsy chuckled.

—

As soon as Barbara and Tom had gone off on their honeymoon, Trixie had rallied everyone together. She’d collected an army of midwives, doctors and friends to help her with her mission and was currently stood on a chair, Christopher hovering just at the side of her in case she fell, giving out orders.

“I was speaking to Patsy earlier and her plan for tomorrow was to build all the baby’s furniture and what have you.” Trixie explained, “Obviously, little Emilee has made her entrance two days earlier than we might have thought and Patsy has been so busy working I imagine, she hasn’t had time beforehand as we all know a due date is only an estimation. So, I’m asking you all to come with me and help me build everything ready for them coming home.”

“She’s worse than my old Army general.” Val whispered to Chummy as everyone in the group nodded their heads.

“Excellent. Let’s go!” 

—

Trixie yawned as she tottered down the familiar wards of the hospital. It had just gone four am and after helping to sort things out for Patsy and Delia at their home (never had she been more grateful for having a spare key from when she’d needed somewhere to stay after she broke up with Tom), she’d found Delia’s ready prepared hospital bag and decided she’d drop it off before bed. Christopher had offered to take it but a selfish part of her wanted to see through what she had started and check that Patsy, Delia and Emilee were all doing well.

As she approached the room where Winifred had told her they would be, Trixie shifted the bag and knocked as quietly as she could before opening the door. She smiled as she saw Patsy blearily blinking and wiping her eyes evidently fallen asleep in the chair. Delia remained fast asleep as did Emilee. 

“Morning sweetie and sorry to wake you, I just thought you might need this.” Trixie whispered, lifting the bag slightly. “I’ll put it here.”

Patsy nodded, standing up before moving over to her friend. “Thanks Trix.”

“No need to thank me.” Trixie brushed off. “I’ve also made sure that everything is sorted back home for you. We’ve tidied up, built the cot and assembled the car seat. Christopher will drive your car over here tomorrow if you like then you can get home without the need for a taxi and what have you?”

“Trixie, there is every need to thank you.” Patsy insisted, her voice low. “You’ve gone above and beyond. I’m so grateful to have a best friend like you.” 

Patsy leant down to hug Trixie who squeezed her friend tightly. They’d been through a lot together over the years and in that moment, Trixie realised just how grateful she was for Patsy too. That wasn’t to say they hadn’t had their disagreements but throughout everything they’d remained steadfast and Trixie knew that they could always rely on one another. 

“We’re both lucky.” Trixie responded. “And I’m honoured that I got to deliver Emilee.” She pulled back, “Now, get some rest. I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to persuade you to come and sleep at mine?”

Patsy shook her head.

“Well, before I go I’m going to find you a camp bed. You can’t sleep in that chair.” 

“Trixie, you must be exhausted. You’ve been out at the wedding all day, delivered Emilee, helped sort my house out and now you’re here. You’ve done enough, don’t worry about me.” Patsy implored. 

“Sweetie, I’m finding you a camp bed. I’ll see you tomorrow… well later today.” Trixie winked. 

Patsy nodded and sat back down. She gently ran her hand over Delia’s who in her sleep, clasped onto it, twining their fingers together. This, she decided, was everything she’d ever dreamt of. 

\--

Patsy shuffled slightly as she unlocked the front door, waiting for Delia to walk through with Emilee in her arms, wrapped in a flood of blankets. They'd been discharged that morning and as Patsy had struggled to keep the smile of her face as she drove home - even going as far as to hum gleefully to the Christmas songs playing on the radio.

“Welcome to your home little one.” Delia whispered as she carried Emilee into their home for the first time. 

Patsy smiled, placing all the bags and the car-seat down before ushering Delia into the front room. She marvelled at the amazing job Trixie and their fellow friends had done. She noticed that the heating was on and something was cooking away in the slow-cooker. 

“I’ve sent a message to your Mother. Her and your Dad are on their way. I’ve left the door open so they can just come in.” Patsy smiled as she placed a blanket over Delia as she settled down on their settee. “Do you need anything?” 

Delia shook her head, “Just you.”

Patsy smiled, “Well that can be arranged.” She said as she sat beside her, “Can you believe that she’s finally here?”

“I feel like I’m about to wake up.” Delia admitted, leaning into Patsy as the taller woman wrapped her arm around her shoulders, “She’s so beautiful Patsy.”

“That’s because she looks like you.” 

“I don’t look beautiful right now Patsy.” Delia laughed, “Although it’s very sweet of you to say.”

“You’ve never looked more beautiful to me.” Patsy insisted.

Delia tutted with a slight smile, gently twisting Patsy to face her and kissing her softly. 

“How are you feeling?” Patsy murmured. 

“Sore and tired but so, so happy.” Delia smiled. “I have everything I’ve ever wanted right here in this room.” 

Patsy was about to kiss her when she heard the door open and the distant tones of Enid Busby and the clumsy padding of Dai Busby as he tried to both slow his wife down and keep up with her. Within moments, the older woman had appeared around the corner, stopping short as she took in the happy scene before her. Patsy had to swallow down her shock as she noted a single tear roll down Mrs Busby’s cheek, she didn’t think the stern old bat had it in her, but apparently Emilee was breaking hearts already…

“Hello Mam.” Delia smiled, “Dad” She whispered as he appeared behind his wife. “Come meet your Granddaughter, Emilee.” 

Patsy stood and offered her seat to Mrs Busby as Mr Busby perched on the arm of the chair beside her. She herself moved to Delia’s other side, perching on the opposite arm as Mrs Busby took the sleeping infant into her arms. 

“Oh Cariad, she’s beautiful.” Mrs Busby whispered.

“Very well done.” Mr Busby added, his voice hoarse, “Oh she reminds me of when you were little, Delia.” 

“I hope she’s not as much trouble.” Mrs Busby added good naturedly. 

“So far she’s being remarkably good.” Patsy smiled, “She obviously takes after me.” 

“You’re deluded if you think you’re better behaved than I am.” Delia retorted, “You, Patience Mount, are what I believe Phyllis refers to as a ‘buggarlugs’. 

“I remember when Delia was a baby she used to sit up awake all night.” Dai chuckled, “Not crying, just awake so we used to have to put her in the car and take her for a long drive until she dosed off. Anyway, we’d get back, turn the engine off but the minute we opened that door that would be it. Wide awake and bawling.” 

“And so we’d be back off down the road again.” Enid added. “She does look just as you did as a baby. It’s uncanny.”

“Good strong Busby genes.” Mr Busby winked, “Now, how about I make us all some dinner and some tea? You need to keep your strength up Delia!” 

“You don't need to do that, you’re a guest.” Patsy instantly refuted. 

“Nonsense!” Dai waved his hand.

“Well I’ll help you. There is something going in the slow cooker but depending on who made it, the quality may be questionable.” Patsy winked, standing up. She looked down at Delia as her Father set off into the kitchen, an unspoken question asked and answered with only the slightest of nods. Patsy smiled and followed Dai, leaving Delia and her Mother alone.

“Oh, she’s so beautiful.” Enid murmured.

“She is. Bet you never thought you’d be sat here holding your granddaughter eh Mam?” Delia asked, leaning against her Mam.

“Delia, you know that I wasn’t always the most supportive Mother but I never had any doubt that you’d live your life to the full and I’ve always been so proud of you. I know you and Patsy are going to be the most wonderful parents and I can’t wait to spoil this one rotten. So thank you, Cariad, for not giving up on me and for letting me have this chance to do something right.” 

“Thank you Mam.” Delia whispered.

—

“Looks like a stew.” Dai said as he looked inside the slow cooker. 

“Must have been Shelagh. She’s a great cook.” Patsy responded, stifling a yawn, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. Just remember to make sure you get some rest too.” The older man advised, “Babies are tiring and I think we sometimes forget that… well, I remember when Delia was born I just carried on like nothing had changed. I was so bloody tired that two weeks later I went shopping… and left all the shopping in the trolley. I never heard the end of it.” He chuckled.

“It’s a good job I do it online then!” Patsy winked. 

“All this online stuff…” Mr Busby laughed, “None of that in my day.”

“We all managed without it once of a day.” Patsy shrugged.

“You don’t need the internet to be a good parent.” Dai winked.

“No.” Patsy breathed, “So what do you need?”

“Love, patience and a very good sense of humour.” He chuckled before turning to her, noting that she wasn’t laughing, “Patsy, you’re going to be a great Mother. I knew the moment I met you that our Delia had got herself a good one and you’ve kept your word to me.” At Patsy’s look of confusion he continued, “You’ve always looked after her and put her first and I know you’ll do the same for that little girl of yours.” 

Patsy nodded, wiping away a tear as he wrapped her up in a warm hug. Her own Father might not be here for her, but that didn’t mean she didn't have a Dad in her life and for the millionth time that day, she couldn’t be more grateful for the life she had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you aren't all drowning in fluff! ;)


	44. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later...

Six months later, Patsy and Delia had settled into their new roles as parents. Patsy had returned to work a couple of weeks after Emilee was born, but unlike before, she didn’t allow work to take over and always made time to spend with Delia and Emilee. She was determined not to let her past mistakes overshadow this new beginning or to let her daughter down in the way her father let her down. So far, she’d heard nothing from him. At Delia’s insistence she’d written to him to inform him of Emilee’s birth and invite him to the naming ceremony they’d decided to have. So far she’d heard nothing back - not that she’d expected anything.

The naming ceremony had been beautiful. They’d wanted to celebrate the birth of their daughter but didn’t want a traditional Christening. After all, neither of them were religious and despite Mrs Busby’s protests, Delia had remained steadfast that they would hold a Humanist ceremony. It had been perfect with just their closest family and friends present. 

Patsy was stood at the bar ordering another drink when a delivery man entered.

“I’m looking for erm… Patience Mount.” He drawled.

“That’s me.” Patsy responded as she paid the barman wondering who she knew that would send her a parcel but still only refer to her as ‘Mount’. 

“I need a signature.”

Patsy quickly signed for the parcel, nodding at the deliveryman as he scuttled off. She gasped as she noticed the international stamp.

“What’ve you got there?” 

Patsy turned as she saw Delia approaching. She looked for Emilee immediately before relaxing as she noticed Trixie showing Alexandra, Chris’ daughter, how to hold her properly.

“A parcel… it’s from Hong Kong.” 

“Your Father?” Delia questioned.

Patsy nodded as she ripped open the packaging. She pulled out a note first of all and she began to read it quietly so that only she and Delia would hear. 

“Dear Patience.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Please accept this gift. It was once yours.

Regards,

Charles Mount.” Patsy huffed, “He couldn’t even be arsed to sign it himself. Look, typed, probably by his bloody secretary.” 

“Patsy.” Delia soothed, “At least he’s got in contact and sent something, what is it?” 

Patsy reached into the packet and pulled out a soft blanket. Delia smiled as she ran her hand over it, noticing an M embroidered into the corner - she assumed it stood for Mount.

“This is gorgeous.” Delia hummed.

“And apparently mine.” Patsy smiled. “I just wish he’d… show a bit more care. I’m not saying he has to come over from Hong Kong but a phone call or even just signing this letter… handwriting it.”

“Darling, take the small offering.” Delia advised, her tone soft, “I know it hurts you and I’m not trying to make it seem trivial, but you’re loved Patsy, more than you could possibly know.”

“If you love me half as much as I love you then trust me I know.” Patsy smiled warmly, wrapping her arms around Delia’s waist. “The thing is Deels, once of a day I’d have been devastated, but now I realise that I don’t need my Father or anything from him. Yes, this is nice.” She held the blanket up, “But what I have right here is one million times nicer. Now, let’s go and have a cuddle with our daughter and give her this…”

Delia grinned as Patsy took her hand, leading her over to where Trixie was still playing with Emilee. She immediately offered the little girl to Patsy who took her, laughing as Emilee immediately grabbed her hair, a smile breaking as Patsy wrapped the blanket over her daughter’s shoulders. Delia stood beside them, laughing as Emilee grabbed it and placed it in her mouth.

“Smile!” 

Patsy, Delia and Emilee all turned at once to see Trixie stood camera in hand. As the camera flashed, the moment was captured forever. 

“Perfect!” Trixie grinned.

“Yes…” Patsy smiled turning to Delia, “Absolutely perfect.” 

Delia was about to reward Patsy’s sentimentality with a kiss when Emilee placed a hand on either one of their faces, pushing them apart. All three startled as a camera flashed again.

When Trixie sent it her later that night, the laughter and love in photo shone through and Patsy couldn’t help but chuckle at Emilee’s face as she ensured all the attention remained further on her.

It quickly became Patsy’s favourite picture.

It was her family. 

And it was perfect. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is finally finished - well for now, I am going to maybe update it with some snippets of their future life but I have a sequel planned for when Emilee is 4 so may do that first.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks to everyone who commented, left kudos or simply just read it :)
> 
> And have a fab Christmas!


End file.
